Overheard at Trump’s hush-money jury trial
- “I just don’t think his bronzer is flattering under these courtroom lights.”
- “Not so loud. You’ll wake him.”
- “If I say I can’t be impartial, would that get me off jury duty?”
- “Zzzz… hamburder… Zzzz… Sleepy Joe…”
- “Hey, do you think one of these jurors could be a sleeper agent? ”
- “Please, God, let me be in the room when the judge finally holds him in contempt and his own Secret Service agents drag him off to a holding cell.”
- “I wouldn’t believe Trump if his tongue were notarized.”
- “Does Juror #95 look like Pauly Shore to you…?”
- “Day 25 of jury selection is now concluded leaving four more spots to fill before they choose the alternates.”
- “I wish they’d turn up the heat in here. I wanna see Trump’s makeup melt.”
- “Trump just posted an insult about the judge’s dog. His lawyers are gonna argue that the dog isn’t part of the judge’s ‘family.’”
- “I needed money 'cause I had none / I fought the law, and the law won”
- “Of course he didn’t rise for the jury. What did they ever do for him?”
Pass.