Overheard at U.S. Rep. Eric Cantor’s campaign HQ on Election Night
“We’ve got this in the bag. Time to start planning his run for Speaker.”
“Of course the voters approve of Mr. Cantor’s stance on immigration reform!”
“C’mon - who’s gonna vote for a candidate named ‘Brat’? It’s like a bad Simpsons joke!”
“Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?”
“Mr. Cantor’s victory is another step towards showing the nation that the Republican Party is reclaiming the center, and marginalizing the Tea Party.”
“Is you is or is you ain’t my constituency?”
“Tell Karl Rove he’s doin’ a helluva job!”
“That’s correct, Mr. Cantor outspent his opponent by twenty-five to one, so we’re expecting a real landslide tonight.”
“Let’s have our victory dinner at one of our favorite steakhouses” (Cantor’s campaign spent more on steak dinners, $168,000, then the Brat campaign spent in total ($123,000.))
FUCK!
“That’s right, we’re havin’ steak, and they’re havin’ brats!”
“Yes, hello, is this Quiznos? Are you still taking applications for an assistant manager?”
Overheard at U.S. Rep. Eric Cantor’s campaign HQ on Election Night
“We’ve got this in the bag. Time to start planning his run for Speaker.”
“Of course the voters approve of Mr. Cantor’s stance on immigration reform!”
“C’mon - who’s gonna vote for a candidate named ‘Brat’? It’s like a bad Simpsons joke!”
“Evacuate? In our moment of triumph?”
“Mr. Cantor’s victory is another step towards showing the nation that the Republican Party is reclaiming the center, and marginalizing the Tea Party.”
“Is you is or is you ain’t my constituency?”
“Tell Karl Rove he’s doin’ a helluva job!”
“That’s correct, Mr. Cantor outspent his opponent by twenty-five to one, so we’re expecting a real landslide tonight.”
“Let’s have our victory dinner at one of our favorite steakhouses” (Cantor’s campaign spent more on steak dinners, $168,000, then the Brat campaign spent in total ($123,000.))
FUCK!
“That’s right, we’re havin’ steak, and they’re havin’ brats!”
“Yes, hello, is this Quiznos? Are you still taking applications for an assistant manager?”
Oy vey iz mir!
Next category: solo albums by Yngwie Malmsteen
