Bakers Dozen

OneCentStamp · June 20, 2014, 12:33pm

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

“You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
“i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
“Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
“She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
“You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
“I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
“Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”

burpo_the_wonder_mutt · June 20, 2014, 2:21pm

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

“You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
“i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
“Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
“She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
“You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
“I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
“Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
“Fill 'er up!”

OneCentStamp · June 20, 2014, 2:37pm

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

“You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
“i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
“Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
“She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
“You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
“I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
“Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
“Fill 'er up!”
“She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”

astorian · June 20, 2014, 2:47pm

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

“You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
“i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
“Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
“She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
“You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
“I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
“Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
“Fill 'er up!”
“She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”
“My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"

Prof.Pepperwinkle · June 20, 2014, 3:04pm

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

“You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
“i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
“Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
“She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
“You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
“I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
“Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
“Fill 'er up!”
“She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”
“My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"
“The last guy who had her really rode her hard.”

Elendil_s_Heir · June 20, 2014, 3:37pm

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

“You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
“i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
“Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
“She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
“You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
“I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
“Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
“Fill 'er up!”
“She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”
“My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"
“The last guy who had her really rode her hard.”
“Next time I’m gonna check Consumer Reports more carefully.”

astorian · June 20, 2014, 3:57pm

Things you can say about your car, but not your significant other

“You can wash her up, but she’ll never look as good as new.”
“i’m going to pay this kid who lives in my neighborhood 50 bucks to crawl underneath her and see if he can stop her from leaking.”
“Change the crankshaft for me, will you?”
“She’s always ready and willing for a quick In-N-Out drive.”
“You can fit four people inside her comfortably.”
“I’d trade her in for a new model, but I can’t afford the payments.”
“Previous owner was an 80-year old lady who only took her out on Sundays.”
“Fill 'er up!”
“She’s been rear-ended once, hard, but you’d never tell to look at her.”
“My neighbor’s is MUCH nicer looking than mine… but I guess mine gets the job done.”"
“The last guy who had her really rode her hard.”
“Next time I’m gonna check Consumer Reports more carefully.”
“She used to be perfect, but ever since we had our kids, I’ve been finding she just doesn’t meet my needs any more.”
New topic: A Famous Standup Comedian Who’s Neither Jewish Nor Black
Ray Romano

anyrose · June 20, 2014, 4:45pm