Hello, I’m Troy McClure! You might remember me from such celebrity funerals as “Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye” and “Shemp Howard: Today We Mourn A Stooge.”
…such driver’s ed films as “Alice’s Adventures through the Windshield Glass” and “The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot”.
…such wonderful films as “The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel”
….such educational films as “Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly,” and “Here Comes the Metric System!”
5 …such automated information kiosks as “Welcome to Springfield Airport” and “Where’s Nordstrom?”
…such self-help videos as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”
…such educational films as “Fuzzy Bunny’s Guide to You-Know-What”
…such telethons as “Out with Gout '88” and “Let’s Save Tony Orlando’s House!”
…such wholesome family entertainment as “Good-Time Slim, Uncle Doobie, and the Great 'Frisco Freak-Out”
10…such filmstrips as Locker Room Towel Fight: the Blinding of Larry Driscoll.
…such nature films as “Earwigs: Eww!” and “Man vs. Nature: The Road to Victory.”
…such films as “Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die” and “Gladys, the Groovy Mule”
13… such dates as last night’s dinner.
Speaking of Troy McClure: Celebriies arrested for sexual activity