anyrose
January 12, 2016, 8:10pm
40925
Things President Obama won’t say in his State of the Union Address
“I really preferred O’Malley, but it looks like Hillary has the nomination pretty much in the bag.”
“North Korea ain’t fucking around, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”
“We’ve done a good job so far.” (well, he CAN’T by all rights say this)
“I have awarded David Bowie a posthumous Medal of Freedom.”
“I’ll take the Chicago Bears and the points this weekend.”
“To be honest, I’m bored with this job, and January 20, 2017 can’t come soon enough.”
“I’m looking forward to retirement and a return to Kenya.”
“Mission accomplished”
“Nyah, nyah, I really AM a Muslim!”
“I am here tonight to endorse Donald Trump for President.”
“Forget the election: if you really want this job after I leave, you have to buy it from Rod Blagojevich.”
“I am pleased to announce I’ve struck a deal with Paramount, and Will Smith is going to play me in the bio-pic.”
JohnT
January 12, 2016, 8:52pm
40926
Things President Obama won’t say in his State of the Union Address
“I really preferred O’Malley, but it looks like Hillary has the nomination pretty much in the bag.”
“North Korea ain’t fucking around, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”
“We’ve done a good job so far.” (well, he CAN’T by all rights say this)
“I have awarded David Bowie a posthumous Medal of Freedom.”
“I’ll take the Chicago Bears and the points this weekend.”
“To be honest, I’m bored with this job, and January 20, 2017 can’t come soon enough.”
“I’m looking forward to retirement and a return to Kenya.”
“Mission accomplished”
“Nyah, nyah, I really AM a Muslim!”
“I am here tonight to endorse Donald Trump for President.”
“Forget the election: if you really want this job after I leave, you have to buy it from Rod Blagojevich.”
“I am pleased to announce I’ve struck a deal with Paramount, and Will Smith is going to play me in the bio-pic.”
“You’re fired!”
New Topic
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
Bullitt
January 12, 2016, 9:09pm
40928
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
anyrose
January 12, 2016, 9:43pm
40929
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
Sampiro
January 12, 2016, 9:45pm
40930
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
Bullitt
January 12, 2016, 10:27pm
40931
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
jtur88
January 12, 2016, 10:56pm
40932
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
“Fool me once, shame on me, umm…”
Bullitt
January 12, 2016, 11:04pm
40933
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
“Fool me once, shame on me, umm…”
“Awesome job, dude!”
Sampiro
January 12, 2016, 11:12pm
40934
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
“Fool me once, shame on me, umm…”
“Awesome job, dude!”
“Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!”
Bullitt
January 12, 2016, 11:20pm
40935
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
“Fool me once, shame on me, umm…”
“Awesome job, dude!”
“Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!”
“Now THAT’s
Sampiro
January 12, 2016, 11:24pm
40936
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
“Fool me once, shame on me, umm…”
“Awesome job, dude!”
“Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!”
“Now THAT’s
“We must all put aside our petty differences and work together to destroy Trump!”
astorian
January 12, 2016, 11:29pm
40937
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
“Fool me once, shame on me, umm…”
“Awesome job, dude!”
“Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!”
“Now THAT’s
“We must all put aside our petty differences and work together to destroy Trump!”
“Ah, what’s the point of rebuttal? You idiots voted for him twice. You’re obviously hopeless.”
Not really the Republican Response to the SOTU speech…
“We should support our President like we support our troops!”
“You know, the Second Amendment is pretty outdated anyway.”
“We did the right thing, voting this guy in.”
“This is decaf! Thanks, Obama!”
“What he said might make more sense… but I have a thermal detonator!”
“That empty seat next to Michelle: you don’t suppose Wayne LaPierre wanted to sit there?”
“Fool me once, shame on me, umm…”
“Awesome job, dude!”
“Hot damn it’s the Soggy Bottom Boys!”
“Now THAT’s
“We must all put aside our petty differences and work together to destroy Trump!”
“Ah, what’s the point of rebuttal? You idiots voted for him twice. You’re obviously hopeless.”
<waving paper> “Here’s your original long form birth certificate, Barry. We’ve totally had it for the last ten years, but Mom said the prank’s gone on long enough and we have to give it back now. And we have to say sorry.”
JohnT
January 13, 2016, 12:11am
40939
#11 above - you know they want to say that, they just won’t .
anyrose:
Things President Obama won’t say in his State of the Union Address
…12. “I am pleased to announce I’ve struck a deal with Paramount, and Will Smith is going to play me in the bio-pic.”
No, I have it on good authority that it’s going to be Daniel Day-Lewis: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyU213nhrh0
Leaffan
January 13, 2016, 2:41am
40941
Jesus. I fell for that for about one minute.
Sampiro
January 13, 2016, 4:13am
40942
What you would buy if you won the $1.4 billion Dollar Powerball:
Dirigibles
What you would buy if you won the $1.4 billion Dollar Powerball:
Dirigibles
Hooker and cocaine
No reason to mess with the formula that’s already been postulated.
Bullitt
January 13, 2016, 4:31am
40944
What you would buy if you won the $1.4 billion Dollar Powerball:
Dirigibles
Hooker and cocaine
House with a 10-car garage, and then collect the 10 cars I want. That would leave me with about $1.395B, not counting taxes…
