According to Wikileaks, ways the CIA is spying on you.
- Tiny nano-sized microphones glued to spiders.
- Transparent drones with telephoto lenses.
- Clouds of sentient e-cig vapor
- Sean Spicer breaking down your front door
- Tiny cameras embedded in green St. Patrick’s Day bagels
- Orbital mind-reading lasers
- Subliminal messages to report your friends and neighbors being flashed into your brain as you sit and read this very post
- Hiding behind a bush in my side yard with a pair of binoculars and a tape recorder.
- Ultrapowerful but undetectable subterranean microwave beams that keep you from finishing any post on the Straight Do
- Tiny cameras that run on poop are inserted into everybody’s butt during a colonoscopy
- Butterflies. (Because no one suspects the butterfly!)
- In Soviet America, you spy on the CIA. What a country!
- Every other Tuesday they call the Psychic Hotline.
New!
Early-blooming flowers.
- Daffodils
