Bakers Dozen

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11122

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
11123

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
11124

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
11125

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
11126

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
  7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin
11127

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
  7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin
  8. Learn to drive cars.
11128

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
  7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin
  8. Learn to drive cars.
  9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters
11129

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
  7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin
  8. Learn to drive cars.
  9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters
  10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist
11130

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
  7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin
  8. Learn to drive cars.
  9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters
  10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist
  11. steal our credit cards to buy more toys and nip over the internet
11131

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
  7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin
  8. Learn to drive cars.
  9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters
  10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist
  11. steal our credit cards to buy more toys and nip over the internet
  12. Use a microphone to be even louder during sex
11132

Things cats would do if they had opposable thumbs

  1. Use the can opener whenever they damn well felt like it
  2. Go in and out the door without bothering you
  3. Take over the world!
  4. Sneak up on you, choke you to death, and then eat your corpse. With a knife and fork, of course.
  5. Grow primo catnip (which may interfere with number 3. They’re working on it.)
  6. Shoot the dog(s).
  7. move the fresh hornk to a more strategic locatioin
  8. Learn to drive cars.
  9. Turn our dead bodies into helicopters
  10. Place their humans in carriers and cart them off to the vasectomy specialist
  11. steal our credit cards to buy more toys and nip over the internet
  12. Use a microphone to be even louder during sex
  13. Buy video cameras and produce kitty porn to post on MewTube

Next: The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
11133

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman

Long overdue for a major feature film

11134

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
    Why not? They’re digging up everything else form the 60s.
11135

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
  4. Sandman (Morpheus, not Wesley Dodd-even tho technically he isn’t a superhero)
11136

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
  4. Sandman
  5. The Comedian

A prequel, obviously.

11137

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
  4. Sandman
  5. The Comedian
  6. The Elementals

A great comic book series that I don’t think has received the attention it deserves

11138

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
  4. Sandman
  5. The Comedian
  6. The Elementals
  7. Aquaman

The right movie might make him cool, and James Cameron could make it as a sequel to both Titanic and The Abyss.

11139

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
  4. Sandman
  5. The Comedian
  6. The Elementals
  7. Aquaman
  8. Spaceman Spiff

Just keep Jim Carry and anyone else ever involved in a Seuss remake far, far away. I’m thinking maybe Pixar? No, wait–Terry Gilliam!

11140

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
  4. Sandman
  5. The Comedian
  6. The Elementals
  7. Aquaman
  8. Spaceman Spiff
  9. Nexus

Science fiction and super heroics

11141

The next superhero who should have his or her own movie

  1. Dr. Strange
  2. Wonder Woman
  3. Captain Nice
  4. Sandman
  5. The Comedian
  6. The Elementals
  7. Aquaman
  8. Spaceman Spiff
  9. Nexus
  10. Herbie the Fat Fury

Obviously, a cult film.