Bakers Dozen

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19143

Advice that Emily Post never gave

  1. If your mother-in-law annoys you, you may certainly tell her to go f**k herself.
  2. Yes, you can fart during a prostate exam.
  3. Never say “please” or “thank you”- that will be perceived as a sign of weakness.
  4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  5. The fork goes on the left, the salad fork goes on the … I mean, the soup spoon goes… ah screw it! Who really cares?
  6. You should ask your teenage son for his thoughts on your yeast infection.
  7. After an orgy, be sure to send thank you cards to everyone.
19144

Advice that Emily Post never gave

  1. If your mother-in-law annoys you, you may certainly tell her to go f**k herself.
  2. Yes, you can fart during a prostate exam.
  3. Never say “please” or “thank you”- that will be perceived as a sign of weakness.
  4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  5. The fork goes on the left, the salad fork goes on the … I mean, the soup spoon goes… ah screw it! Who really cares?
  6. You should ask your teenage son for his thoughts on your yeast infection.
  7. After an orgy, be sure to send thank you cards to everyone.
  8. You may bring the sports page to the stall when you’ll be taking a major dump. Just don’t bring it back to the Break Room after you’re done.
19145

Advice that Emily Post never gave

  1. If your mother-in-law annoys you, you may certainly tell her to go f**k herself.
  2. Yes, you can fart during a prostate exam.
  3. Never say “please” or “thank you”- that will be perceived as a sign of weakness.
  4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  5. The fork goes on the left, the salad fork goes on the … I mean, the soup spoon goes… ah screw it! Who really cares?
  6. You should ask your teenage son for his thoughts on your yeast infection.
  7. After an orgy, be sure to send thank you cards to everyone.
  8. You may bring the sports page to the stall when you’ll be taking a major dump. Just don’t bring it back to the Break Room after you’re done.
  9. When hijacking an airplane, be sure to say “please” after telling the pilot your demands.

#7 reminds me of the old joke:

Q: Why don’t Southern belles like orgies?
A: Too many thank-you notes.

19146

Advice that Emily Post never gave

Advice that Emily Post never gave

  1. If your mother-in-law annoys you, you may certainly tell her to go f**k herself.
  2. Yes, you can fart during a prostate exam.
  3. Never say “please” or “thank you”- that will be perceived as a sign of weakness.
  4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  5. The fork goes on the left, the salad fork goes on the … I mean, the soup spoon goes… ah screw it! Who really cares?
  6. You should ask your teenage son for his thoughts on your yeast infection.
  7. After an orgy, be sure to send thank you cards to everyone.
  8. You may bring the sports page to the stall when you’ll be taking a major dump. Just don’t bring it back to the Break Room after you’re done.
  9. When hijacking an airplane, be sure to say “please” after telling the pilot your demands.
  10. Never pay your crack dealer with personal checks.
19147

Advice that Emily Post never gave

  1. If your mother-in-law annoys you, you may certainly tell her to go f**k herself.
  2. Yes, you can fart during a prostate exam.
  3. Never say “please” or “thank you”- that will be perceived as a sign of weakness.
  4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  5. The fork goes on the left, the salad fork goes on the … I mean, the soup spoon goes… ah screw it! Who really cares?
  6. You should ask your teenage son for his thoughts on your yeast infection.
  7. After an orgy, be sure to send thank you cards to everyone.
  8. You may bring the sports page to the stall when you’ll be taking a major dump. Just don’t bring it back to the Break Room after you’re done.
  9. When hijacking an airplane, be sure to say “please” after telling the pilot your demands.
  10. Never pay your crack dealer with personal checks.
  11. Never wear lingerie after your third date with the same boy.
19148

Advice that Emily Post never gave

  1. If your mother-in-law annoys you, you may certainly tell her to go f**k herself.
  2. Yes, you can fart during a prostate exam.
  3. Never say “please” or “thank you”- that will be perceived as a sign of weakness.
  4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  5. The fork goes on the left, the salad fork goes on the … I mean, the soup spoon goes… ah screw it! Who really cares?
  6. You should ask your teenage son for his thoughts on your yeast infection.
  7. After an orgy, be sure to send thank you cards to everyone.
  8. You may bring the sports page to the stall when you’ll be taking a major dump. Just don’t bring it back to the Break Room after you’re done.
  9. When hijacking an airplane, be sure to say “please” after telling the pilot your demands.
  10. Never pay your crack dealer with personal checks.
  11. Never wear lingerie after your third date with the same boy.
  12. Never wear clothing after Labor Day.
19149

Advice that Emily Post never gave

  1. If your mother-in-law annoys you, you may certainly tell her to go f**k herself.
  2. Yes, you can fart during a prostate exam.
  3. Never say “please” or “thank you”- that will be perceived as a sign of weakness.
  4. A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  5. The fork goes on the left, the salad fork goes on the … I mean, the soup spoon goes… ah screw it! Who really cares?
  6. You should ask your teenage son for his thoughts on your yeast infection.
  7. After an orgy, be sure to send thank you cards to everyone.
  8. You may bring the sports page to the stall when you’ll be taking a major dump. Just don’t bring it back to the Break Room after you’re done.
  9. When hijacking an airplane, be sure to say “please” after telling the pilot your demands.
  10. Never pay your crack dealer with personal checks.
  11. Never wear lingerie after your third date with the same boy.
  12. Never wear clothing after Labor Day.
    13.Yes, it is considered extremely poor manners to bogie a joint.

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
19150

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
19151

And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
19152

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple
  3. Shirley Blythe (Son of fictional characters Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)
19153

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe (Son of fictional characters Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)
  5. Shirley Feeny

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
Sclemeel, Schlemazel, Hasenfeffer Incorporated!

19154

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe (Son of fictional characters Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
19155

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe (Son of fictional characters Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
  7. Shirley Maclaine
19156

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe (Son of fictional characters Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
  7. Shirley Maclaine
  8. Shirley Phelps-Roper
19157

Next Up: I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe (Son of fictional characters Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
  7. Shirley Maclaine
  8. Shirley Phelps-Roper
  9. Shirley Chisholm
19158

I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe (Son of fictional characters Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe)
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
  7. Shirley Maclaine
  8. Shirley Phelps-Roper
  9. Shirley Chisholm
  10. Shirley Rose, a.k.a Mom
19159

I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
  7. Shirley Maclaine
  8. Shirley Phelps-Roper
  9. Shirley Chisholm
  10. Shirley Rose, a.k.a Mom
  11. Shirley, Arkansas
19160

I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
  7. Shirley Maclaine
  8. Shirley Phelps-Roper
  9. Shirley Chisholm
  10. Shirley Rose, a.k.a Mom
  11. Shirley, Arkansas
  12. Shirley Keeldar–Title character in Charlotte Bronte’s second novel Shirley. Before this female character, Shirley had always been a male’s name.
19161

I am serious. And do call me Shirley.

  1. Shirley Jones
  2. Shirley Temple Black
  3. Shirley Bassey
  4. Shirley Blythe
  5. Shirley Feeny
  6. Shirley Booth
  7. Shirley Maclaine
  8. Shirley Phelps-Roper
  9. Shirley Chisholm
  10. Shirley Rose, a.k.a Mom
  11. Shirley, Arkansas
  12. Shirley Keeldar–Title character in Charlotte Bronte’s second novel Shirley. Before this female character, Shirley had always been a male’s name.
  13. Anne Shirley (from* Anne of Green Gables*)

New: 13 Favorite Lines from Airp**lane! or its sequel

  1. What’s our vector, Victor?
19162

New: 13 Favorite Lines from Airplane! or its sequel

  1. What’s our vector, Victor?
  2. I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.