Ballad Of Jed Clampett

Cafe Society
1

At the end of the opening credits to “The Beverly Hillbillies”, there were usually added another couple of verses touting the benevolence of their sponsor, Kellogg’s cereal. Does anyone know these lyrics?

2

IIRC it was something like

“Presented by the kindness of our sponsor of the week,
The cereals from Kellogg’s
Kellogg’s of Battle Creek.”

I distinctly remember Jed and granny doing commercials for Winston cigarets (“Winston’s taste good, like a cigaret had oughta.”) Did they get their own verse, too?

3

I always thought it was

“. . . fresh from Battle Creek.”

4

Was there ever a Jedi Clampitt?

5

I got slapped once for my version:

This is a story about a man named Jed;
poor mountain man barely kept his family fed;
Then one day he was shootin’ at some food;
And up from the ground popped Ellie May nude.

Well the next thing you know ol’ Jed is over there;
Sucking on her titties and pulling at her hair;
Jethro hid behind a bush trying to hide;
Cuz he was next to give Ellie a ride.

6

Er… the scansion of your last two lines is absolutely awful, racer72. Perhaps that’s why you were slapped.

7

Our school’s risque version ended with something like: “And out from his pants came a bubblin’ sperm . . .”

Kind of wish I could remember the rest of it.

8

“Let me tell ya a story about a man named Jed
A poor motherf****r with a rubber on his head
He was f*****g Ellie Mae in the tall grass
and up popped Granny & shot him in the ass”

anyone remember the old Saturday Night Live skit- “The Bel-Airabs”?

9

Purely from memory:
(You can tell I didn’t waste MY youth!)

Lemmee tell ya the story of a man named Abdul
A poor desert beduin, he didn’t have no fuel
Then one day he was shootin’ at some jews
And up thru the ground came a bubblin’ ooze.

Oil, that is.
Black gold, Saudi soda

The next thing you know Abdul’s a billiionaire
His kinfold says, Abdul, move on over there
Yes, Californy, you really should be there
So he loaded up the camel and moved to Belair.

Swimmin’ pools, movie stars
Jews

10

I thought it was, “Winston tastes good-like a cigarette SHOULD.”

I like Weird Al’s version myself.