Ban The Pith!!!!!!

Now, I haven’t spent a lot of time in jungles or on safari. It’s sort of a shame, because I like that scene in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life where the doctor, after seeing a tiger has ripped off an officer’s leg (literally), says “There’s a lot of it about. It’s probably a virus. Stay warm, drink plenty of fluids, and if you are playing football try and favour the other leg.”

But pith helmets suck. They look stupid and have a dumb name. Ban them, I say.

Since you seem to be on a theme, here are some more suggestions:

Feel free to use any and all.

Pluth, I feel it nethethary to thpeak with a lithp after hearing thomeone thay “pith helmet.”

Don’t want to call it thomething elthe? Incontheivable!

when are people going to come to their senses and ban the la brea tar pits? i mean, how many sabertoothed tigers and dinosaurs have to die before somebody does something?!? ban the pits, i say. by the way, you are funny, dr_paprika.

I think that olive pits should be banned too. Darned near broke a tooth on one of them once. Olive pits are bull!

Are you allowed to laugh in the Pit without saying anything inflammatory? Cause thats the second time you’v made me <laugh- I thought my knickers were never going to dry> Dr Paprika. And you other three,LOL pretty funny.

Dammit, pints are too small! When I want some malt liquor, don’t hand me a pint, I want me a 40 oz!

Ban the…well, you get the idea…

Plenty pithy pita pit posts, plus past parts previously proposed, pin poor posting 'pon primarily priggish pissants.

what he said! erm, or she, cant get into trouble again, im still in it over by the pit.

I wish someone would ban my pits. They stink, and the daily application of deodorant is getting expensive!

Let me just say right now that if anyone starts another one of these damn copycat threads, I will hunt you down and skullfuck you. The joke’s fucking dead. We’re smart people around here, we get bored of shit like this pretty easily. Well, at least I do, and there are people here even smarter than me. Are we clear on this?

Thank you.

snore, did waterj2 say something? didnt think so. back to the OP! ya know, i like citrus as much as the next guy, but damn, that white fluffy stuff that is stuck all over the sweet delicious fruit is so bitter, yuck! you either gotta eat it and have it ruin your orange or grapefruit, or spend a frickin half hour peelin every little bit of it off. so, all together now, waterj2, read my lips, BAN THE PITH, I SAY!

I think race cars should go around on onee set of tyres and one tank of fuel, I say


Hey, calm down now.
All we are saying is give piths a chance.

Thith pitheth me to the core. Thtop, prithee, pleeth!

are you sure about that? hee hee. anybody wanna bet that waterj2’s a card carrying member of mensa?

I wasn’t protesting the existence of this thread. As a matter of fact, I’m putting it back up at the top of the list. But I think two “Ban the pit*” threads currently active is as much mileage as the joke’s gonna get.

Now you’ve got me intrigued. Never been “skullfucked” before. What exactly does this entail? And would the pith helmet protect me from this vile act? I THINK NOT. As I see it, most of the six orifices are still exposed.

Warning. Not for the faint of heart.


Skullfucking is the act of fucking someone in the eye socket. Most notably, in Full Metal Jacket, Gunnery Sergeant Hartman threatens “else I will gouge out your eye and skullfuck you.” I’m not even sure if anyone has ever actually had this done to them and lived. Basically, it’s something I think of as a good joke threat, as it’s really impossible to take seriously.

If you’re really interested, you can search for the threads on squicking for something a pith helmet would protect you from.

If I’m ever in a position to be squicked, and I"m guessing that I’d have to be pretty damn incapacitated, I don’t think the pith helmet would be of any help. Well I’m gratified that I cannot be “skullfucked” through the nose, mouth or ears, I still see no reason not to BAN THE PITH. I shudder to think of what you’ll come up with next, waterj2. You’ll forgive me if I say I hope I never meet you in a darkened alley.