Excellent rant. 9 out of 10. Docked one point for not being bitter enough.
IIRC, a juicer can only puree a banana.
Anyway, would you be so kind as to post the kiwi:carrot ratio? I like kiwi and am supposed to increase my carrot intake (currently zero). If your solution makes carrots palatable, you have my undying (well, maybe fleeting) gratitude.
Futile: Of coure it wasn’t bitter enough! Did you see any mention of lemons?
Which reminds me, THespos. If you’re going to be freezing or refrigerating bananas, make sure you soak them in lemon juice first. Or you could develop a taste for black bananas instead.
After reading your first few lines, I thought my Dad had found the SDMB and I was ready to go find all of my posts and quickly beg a mod to delete them. Then I kept reading - you are actually following THROUGH with your resolve to eat healthy and you, thank God, are NOT my father with sudden amazing internet skills (He still thinks the ‘internet’ is AOL’s Channels.).
Aside from that, you’re about to get my ass kicked at work because I’m snorting through my nose at this and making loud, obscene noises from laughter.
Ava
I was disappointed. Not at the rant; that was excellent. I was looking for some solid proof that bananas are disgusting. And I was excited upon reading the thread title that someone else shared my views on the nastiness of bananas. Alas, that was not the case. The quest continues…
Casey1505, have no fear. I’m with you on the whole “bananas are the debbil” thing. Bleah. I can abide banana flavored things (like pudding), but not an actual banana.
The texture…::shudder::…
Oh…and leaving a banana peel in the trash at your desk? That’s a crime punishible by death. As if bananas themselves weren’t bad enough, I have to be subjected to rotting banana peel stench?
Where’s that vomit smiley when you need one?
I’ve never liked them. Never liked the smell (although banana bread baking is nice), the taste, the texture, etc. Not in candy, pudding, daquiris, nothing. I can smell them from a mile away. People have been known to leave bananas on my desk at work, peels in my wastebasket, and even taunt me with a whole peeled banana.
One sacrifice I made was for my son. He LOVES them. When he was an infant, I’d have to mouth breathe when I fed him his mashed bananas (I swear, Gerber’s adds banana smell to it ). Now that he’s a little older (almost 3), he needs help opening them, so I have to distract him so he doesn’t see me doing it at arms length ( you never know if it’ll explode and cover you with banana shrapnel… ). If he likes them, great. I just don’t want him to NOT like them because daddy doesn’t. When he gets older, he’ll come to his senses…
Really? Two thousand a day would be a binge for me. Care to switch metabolisms?
Monty - My kiwi-carrot juice ratio is three kiwis to a pound of baby carrots. Love the stuff.
As for the bananas, I think I’ll just eat them normally. Or maybe not-so-normally, as FreshDirect.com just dropped off two dozen baby bananas (the little ones). These things are pretty fucking cool. It’s like God decided to make a “fun size” just for kicks.
I love bananas. Preferably slightly chilled, from having been stored in a fridge. And maybe a little on the green side, but not too much.
Mmmm…
Yeah. As others have noted, bananas don’t juice well. But juice the carrots first, then into a blender with the banana and a dab of honey and you’re in business.
Monty, another popular way to make carrot juice acceptable is to add raspberry sherbet. Crossing it with orange juice or (freshly-juiced only) apple juice may also work for you. The banana-carrot stuff is the least terrible of the bunch, imho.
I’ve never liked the idea of carrot juice, but with kiwi it sounds intriguing.
Kiwi is nothing like kiwi fruit once you blend it. It’s more like tangy banana.
You lost me for a little while here. I thought this was the start of a new story.
That’s about where I first lost it and snorted in laughter. THe mental image, while a bit disturbing, was Utterly Funny.
Is where I kind of spat a mouthful of Dr. Pepper Red Fusion (which, btw, is quite possibly the most horrible soda ever, yet I continue to drink it, and somehow enjoy it.) in the general vicinity of my monitor (And, a new keyboard, thankyouverymuch!). If that were the type of prayer that I’d been taught in hebrew school, it might have kept me religious.
I personally like bananas, especially frozen and coated in chocolate. [Homer Simpson]Mmmm…potassium…[/HS]
I’ve never hasd a problem with this; I have seen the skins go black if they get too cold, but the peeled fruit has always kept its colour for me (I do wrap them tightly in clingfilm before freezing (unless I’m chocolate coating them), maybe that makes a difference)
Varies per person, YMMV and all that … I’ve been on a 1200-1500 calorie per day diet since November 1st. Fun, it isn’t, but I’m no more unconscious than usual. (And substantially thinner.)
Some advice for the OP:
If your going to make banana puree, let the bananas age a bit first. I’m absolutely not kidding either.
Being as how bananas are, to me, the worlds best food (alongside sour cream), I have quite a bit of experience in how to prepare foods with them.
And I will be the first to assure you that all processed banana foods are made with bananas that have gone mushy with age.
Personally, I think it is a bit disgusting. I do not cook with bananas anymore outside of an occasional loaf of banana bread. The thought of rotten bananas sickens the daylights out of me.
However, I regularly drink banana-orange juice (the kind that is supplemented with calcium) and have a banana for breakfast every morning (unless I"m out…but my trips to the grocery store are usually necessitated by the fact that I’m almost out of bananas).
I think either the instructions or the recipe book says NOT to use bananas.
Also regarding dieting? It’s really better to eat the whole fruit, rather than the juice. That way you get the fiber and all the vitamens, as well as the “filling you up” thing that fruits and vegetables are so good for.
Granted, juicers are much much better than store bought juice, but still.
Also, whoever said 2000 calories was too low? Aren’t you a guy thespos? That sounds pretty low to me too.
The site listed below will provide you with information on how to calculate your caloric needs and the calorie deficit you need to adhere to in order to lose weight.
Ignore if you think it’s too pushy of me 
(if you want more sites let me know, I have a billion great weight loss and fitness sites).
Sweet Jesus. I nearly snorted a baby carrot out my nose at the mental image of THespos feeding a manatee into a woodchipper. That hurt.