Exposed Gonad
Don’t touch that!
Pathetic Linoleum
Thanks very much, now I’m snerking uncontrollably at work. I think I’m back under control and then another snerk attack hits.
Hmmm… how about:
Snerk Attack
Pass the brain bleach, please?
How about Pavement? No, I don’t have any in my house, but there sure is plenty around my house as the OP asks! 
The Three Cats
Skip Rope and the Heavy Bag
Pretty Girl and Ugly Couch
The Gay Neighbors
Big Bill and the Limited Income
When you say the pavement is around your house, it’s really around your house! :rimshot:
Re: Pen Is Attached - this was a post it note I left for my husband so that he didn’t hunt all over for a pen for something he needed to sign. I scribbled “Pen is attached” as a heads up. However, I guess I wrote “pen” and “is” a little too close together, and he thought maybe I was trying to let him know that I needed the “man of the household” to sign it, since he is the only one around here with a “penis attached”.
As for the nubbly purple balls, the consignment shop I work at just got in these for sale, so I bought some for my husband. Just to clarify. You know. So nobody thinks I was talking about the penis attached.
Nubbly Purple Balls, rock on.
My son had a friend whose family opened its door to every single stray cat in the neighborhood. They never had them fixed, and they were always having new kittens. My son said one cat was walking around with a kitten hanging out of it’s kitty crotch.
F.D.A. (Frozen Dinner Again)
.38 Special 