This all began Monday night: My bank allowed three fraudulent debits to go through my checking account, for a total of nearly $500.00. I call them to alert them to this, and they say it will take “five business days” for their Research department to find out what the debits were. I was furious, and told them so, but nobody tried to do anything to speed up the process.Though one fellow finally says he will call me when he finds out what they transactions were. I’ve heard nothing from him so far.
So I go into my branch Tuesday, where I need to close out the account that people are stealing from. The account guy is horrified that they told me it would take so long to clear it up, and says he can fix it in “a couple of days.” So I close out the old account, open a new account, saying before I do this, “This won’t screw up my direct deposit on Friday, will it?” Two different people say it will be “no problem.” More on that later.
So a few hours later, the guy who promised me he could fix it in “a couple of days” says I actually will have to wait until I get my bank statement, then sign an affidavit of forgery. This will take more than two weeks. I yell at him for a while, and he sniffs, “You obviously don’t want me to help you” and transfers me to his boss. Who talks about how they have “procedures” and this sort of thing “usually” takes about two weeks, and they can’t credit my account until they have the hard copies from Sacramento, etc., etc. So now the bank, having processed three fraudulent debits to my account, is doing absolutely nothing to help, and are instead telling me all about what they can’t do.
Remember the new account? Well, I closed out my old checking account, but the savings account was still active. So I go to use my ATM card to withdraw money from the perfectly fine savings account. And the ATM promptly and irrecoverably ate my card, since its “primary account” was closed. So I call to let the bank know my card was eaten, and check again on whether the direct deposit will be OK. The guy on the phone says all looks fine to him.
Fast forward to today, when I call early in the morning to check on my direct deposit. It’s not there. So I call the laughably named “Customer Service” department and ask what is going on. I am told that the money has to be transferred by hand from the old, closed account to the new account, but that will be (doom-laden words) “No problem.”
Of course it was a problem. As soon as my branch opens I call them, and, after they look into it, they find that they can’t actually transfer the money into my new account until Monday, but if they reopen the old account, they can put it in right away. So I say, “Yes, reopen the old account,” since I don’t relish the idea of leaving my sparse little check in limbo until then. So the person at the branch promises to do so. So I keep checking the old account on their computer service, and the money isn’t there. So I call back. The person I talked to is “with a customer.” So I call the Customer Service department, and am told the old account is still showing as closed. So the Customer Service woman calls my branch, and says that even as we speak the branch woman is depositing the money into my new account. So I call back the branch woman. “No,” she says, “the money has been deposited into your old account.” “So why isn’t it there?” I ask. “It won’t be posted until after midnight,” she says. “Tomorrow,” I say. “Well, if you want to look at it that way,” she says. “And if it isn’t, I won’t be able to do anything about it until Monday?” “Right.” Things got a wee bit ugly after that, but the end result is that I’m still missing the original $500.00, my pathetic paycheck is in limbo, and I am incredibly, unbelievably frustrated.
Thanks for listening, if you have. Now tell me bank horror stories and make me feel better.