Lucki, go check out some old Phaedrus threads.
Enjoy
fatherjohn used to do something like that, but maybe he wasn’t the only one. He would always include a :rolleyes: and would say something like “Pot? Kettle? Whatever.”
I’m surprised that she of the CrapWare and the modular cabinets hasn’t come up yet.
This is because (check one)
[ ] I forgot Jally
[ ] I suffered severe brain-melting when I thought of her
[ ] She was too weird, even for this thread
[ ] Wer’e all a bunch of communists and degenerates!
PS: Vanilla, I believe that the bulk of Phaedrus threads were lost during some board event or other. I’m almost positive that his final thread, where he posted a couple thousand lines of “Authentic Indian Gibberish” is gone forever, sadly.
Fenris
[sub]This post was brought to you by JALLYBOARD brand CrapWare[/sub][sup]tm[/sup][sub]. All rights reserved, but since no-one else wanted the rights, who cares?[/sub]
This would be FORMERAGENT, yes? Before my time, but I recall reading this stuff, linked from one of those “what’s the wackiest/stupidest/funniest thing you’ve read on the SDMB?” threads.
OG SMASH! God, that’s funny. Good work, racinchikki.
OG sort rubbish!
And then I snuck up behind this old lady that had been eyeing me and I YELLED and scared the heck out of her. *This was Freaklyfree *
I remember the “my perfect penis” guy, but can’t think of his name. Silo, aka Mike Masterson
Oh, and I belive this is a different troll from any named above “I think Hillary’s fat ass is hot!” * Johnsbury again*
9 points for Fenris, who got most of them correct!
Wasn’t there a sock that told the story about finding some woman’s wallet on a bus and purposely freaking her out while returning it to her, too?
I find it highly amusing that we forget most of the trolls who post this stuff, but remember their idiocy.
Esprix
That wasn’t a sock, that was freekfreely. That story is what led into his (all too public) thermal meltdown. That train wreck was one of the best ever, IMO.
AAAHH!!! You have invoked the original He Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken!!!
Everyone, run. Hide. Go now, take your children, leave your belongings. The end is nigh.
First: Hey, aenea, I said it was FreakFreely! I demand my extra point! 
Esprix: FreakFreely yet again. Same incident, different iteration. The reason everyone’s remembering it differently is that he retold his story at least four different ways, but like B’rer Rabbit and the Tar Baby, he jes’ kept gittin’ stuck more an’ more.
First version: There’s a woman on the bus who looks like a yuppie (aka: young. He didn’t describe her as a dowager). She drops her wallet. He stalks her, invades her personal space, makes her scream then gives back the wallet
Second version: When pretty much universally condemned for scaring this lady simply because she ‘looked like a yuppie’, suddenly it turned out that he talked to her the day after the incident. She wants nothing to do with him (proving that she was stuck up and DID deserve it) and used a couple of pretty vile racial epitaths. So she really deserved it.
Third version: Met with skepticism (stuck up bigot won’t talk to him, but WILL spew race-hatred to him), it turns out that the woman is his girlfriend’s mom who did horrible, vile things to her. What kind of things? Ain’t sayin’. (Note that the woman’s aged: she’s now at least old enough to have a 20+ year old daughter) and this was Freak’s way of teaching her a lesson.
Fourth version: Maybe Freak hallucinated the whole incident and it never happened in the first place.
I may have gotten a few details wrong, and there were sub-iterations (he intentionally scared the stuck up yuppie/she scared herself because she was just paranoid, it’s not his fault) but that’s the gist of it. The classic meltdown (and one that could have been averted by a simple apology.)
Archivist Fenris
I’ll agree with you, here. Just like a good dish of Pad Thai needs a little dose of stinky fish sauce, this board needs a little dose of idiocy sometimes.
And without JDT, how would we have known that a mere 17 square inches of skin could be so gosh-darn important. (does anybody remember the exact figure?)
Well you people think you are so smart, but you should look into the mirror sometimes. Just because you’ve been on the board before you think you know everything but some of us know better.
**A m p l S a m p l e **
::kiss kiss::
I am so insluted!
Here lies FreakFeely,
Dead and black,
Banned from the Dope,
And can’t come back.
(did you mean racial epithets? :D)
What? You think I could make a typo? ME? Shocked, SHOCKED, I am!
Pfffffffffbt!
[sub]yes, that’s what I meant[/sub]
Oh, and one no-one’s mentioned:
"Well, sure he’s been banned, but dozens, HUNDREDS of people are banned every day and come back as socks. Why there was a whole message board related to Socks! Everyone knows banning’s useless. < pause > Proof? What do you mean “proof”?
Fenris
::raising my hand::
POint of order Mr. Chairman!
IIRC, FreakFreely wasn’t banned, but merely stopped posting -
(by the way, you did an admirable job Fenris in your condensed version - ever work for Reader’s Digest??? )
You know, I’m sorry I didn’t find this place a couple of years ago. I missed out on all the weirdos! They just don’t make trolls like that anymore, apparently.
Most of the wingnuts on the pre-Crash board were nipped in the bud pretty early: a couple of stupid posts, a public roasting in the Pit, and banning. These guys, on the other hand, were allowed to wallow in their own madness.
Anybody want to post some links, or at least tell a (relative) newbie what to search for? Some of these sound like they’d be good for a laugh…or, perhaps, to make me lose my faith in humanity.
What archives? Where?
We’ve had some doozies recently, but their antics are still fresh in our memories and haven’t gotten that sentimental patina our older friends have gotten.
I don’t think these guys have been banned but I haven’t seen them around lately: The guy with the Great Phi Theory? Hiryuu or something like that. And the other one with the condos on the moon-- SeethruArt?
Oh, and how can we forget blowjob lady?
Does anyone remember Anal Mary? She sure was a lot of fun for a person who never posted on the board.
Since this is good natured fun and we are not supposed to pick on people who can’t defend themselves, I’ll try to restrain myself and not mention Fall Fart Girl.
I spent alot of time battling the Great Phi Theory personally. What a waste of time that was.
Gotcha Ya was my favorite with WB, but Eve really did the work on that one. My favorite unassisted WBism was “Would Are Eco Sytem be Ok If We Extincted Mosquitos?” here
This was posted before I joined the board. I found it going back through some of his old posts trying to figure out just “who the hell is this wierdo?” when I first encountered him. I knew when I found this almost a year before, he had to be for real. No one could keep up that kind of act for so long.
At the risk of gross immodesty, a short list of trolls/socks/banned posters (who can be searched for) can be found here, and all set to the tune of the Beach Boy’s Kokomo! How can you go wrong?
There were a couple of threads (one was in the Pit, one in IMHO, IIRC) that discussed troll history with links a plenty.
But I can only find one of find 'em ( here ). 
A huge portion of Phadey’s output (including the infamous (and I never read it, either “Flat Earth” thread seem to be gone forever, as does his farewell address. However, two of the surviving Phaedrus threads are here and here. Don’t bother trying to follow the links in the old thread as they were done in the old UUB system and don’t work.
One of the RosieWolf/Idnew/Little Potato threads was here
Fenris