Barber-ella the "do" from hell

I’m getting married in about 10 days. Lots of last minute details. Lots to worry about. I don’t need one more…

So I needed a haircut. I’ve been putting it off. For a while now, I’ve been letting it grow out - I used to shave the sides and back, but my soon-to-be wanted me to get rid of the “Buster Brown” look as she put it. So I’ve been letting the sides fill in. But the wedding is fast approaching, and I can’t put it off anymore. So I got a hair-cut.

Now, I generally go to Super-cuts. (All the women gasp in horror…) But its habit. I generally don’t see the sense in spending 40 dollars on a hair-cut. And for 5 years, my haircut consisted of: shave the sides and back, trim the dead-end of my long, luxurious hair. But alas, I no longer have the beautiful mane, and must now get “real” haircuts. But still 40 buck? And now with the wedding so close, I’m broke. I’m beyond broke. I’ve gone past the red, into some wierd shade of purple. So it looked like I was off to SuperCuts again. But wait! Is that… YES!.. Its a COUPON!.. 6.99 haircut at GreatClips! Joy of Joys, my checkbook heaves a huge sigh of relief.

So I tell the lady what I want. I explain it again. I tell her what it used to look like, and what my ultimate goal is for future hairstyles. I mention the wedding…

I watch her cut. I see the bangs get cut a little shorter than I thought I had showed I wanted, but hey I DID say I want it “mostly out of my eyes”… no big deal. I watch as she shortens the sides to accomodate my desired hairstyle with the shorter bangs. I watch as she cuts, and cuts, and cuts. Its not getting better. I squint, trying to see what she’s going for - Its close but somehow REALLY funky. White trash looking. Way off. She’s see’s my growing horror and attempts to fix the “problem areas”. Its not helping. My wedding is in 10 days…

I stop her and call over the Missus. She takes one look, hands me the checkbook, and says she’s leaving. (Me or the store!!!) Phew… she got in the passenger side of the car. I stop the stylist (should she be allowed to call herself that?) She made excuses for why it was looking like it was - My hairs so thick, It will only look good either really long, or really short, not at a medium length… I’ve had my haircut a number of times since losing the long locks, and usually got a pretty good cut. Even at SuperCuts. I’ve had a horror story at SuperCuts before, but it was the girls first day (I didn’t know until she was halfway done), but someone else helped her fix it. It came out alright. I’ve even had a 40 dollar haircut in the last 2 months. (You DO get what you pay for apparently)… But DAMN!..

I managed to explain a way for her to salvage a haircut I could accept, but good god… I can’t believe I paid her.