Ok, I try to do this more or less once a year, in whatever environment I’m in. I usually poll my co-workers, but since I just started a new job, I’m a bit reluctant to do it at work, lest they think I’m too weird.
The question is,
In a gloves-off, knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred fight, who would win; Barney or H.R. Puff’n’stuff?
Puf’n’stuff. Easy. Barney is like a lab rat who’s grown up in a disease-free environment. He’s never had a challenge, never faced a threat. He may also be <ahem> “mentally challenged”, whereas Pufinstuff has been in a constant struggle against the cruel forces of e-vil and darkness (Witchiepoo on her Vroom-broom, that creepy vulture hench-thing of hers and Hoodoo the Magician to name just a few) since we’ve first met him. At the hint of any <gasp> conflict or the thought of any word or action that isn’t soft, caring and nurturing, Barney would wilt like spinach under hot bacon dressing.
Barney also has a crappy singing voice (he sounds like a drunken Bullwinkle Moose, but dumber). Pufnstuff, at least in the original movie-musical that the series was based on sounds just like Jim Neighbors when he sings!! Note that Mama Cass is also in the movie. I find this signifigant somehow.
And if helpers are allowed, then Barney is in even more trouble. Barney has a bunch of ethinically diverse devil-spawn who’re well behaved and perfect in every way. Puff has Jack Wild (the Artful Dodger), Kling and Klang, That flute thing, the Mayor, the hippie tree, the tap-dancing frog who dresses like Columbia from Rocky Horror, but without the pants…the list is endless.
And the final blow to Barney. With Pufnstuf, there’s always a chance, however slim, that another Krofft creation: Electro-Woman and Dyna-Girl will show up. Ahh, Electro-woman…voltage goddess of my misspent youth. Watt’re you doing currently? There could have been quite a spark between us if your show hadn’t been cancelled. Wire you not responding to my many letters? I long faraday when we can be together. Ahem… but I digress.
OK, 2 things.
1)Y’all are probably over thirty. When I’ve done this poll in the past, the responses where generally divided along age lines. Respondents born before 1970 invariably vote with H.R. Puff’n’stuff. Those born after 1970, in their cultural illiteracy, invariably ask, “Who’s H.R. Puff’n’stuff?”
ElectroWoman was my hero when I was a child, watching the Kroft Supershow. Kaptain Kool and the Kongs were my second favorite band, right behind KISS. The show kind of went downhill when the Bay City Rollers took over…
I’m a craps dealer, and therefore can’t count, but does anybody know if any cable channel available in the Las Vegas Market carries H.R. Puff’n’stuff? Was that 2 things?