Fred Rogers vs. Barney the Dinosaur. Who’d win?
Lady Elaine Fairchild would whack the big purple lizard with the Boomerang-Toomerang-Zoomerang, then the original purple suitmonster, Purple Panda, will get medieval on his ass with a big old bamboo beat-down stick.
No contest.
Shoot!!
I thought this was a thread about Flintstone and Rubble 
They wouldn’t fight each other! They were both about love.
…I’d go out with Betty, but I’d be thinking of Wilma.
They’ll fight to a draw over Blaire Roche’s femur.
(I challenge anyone to get that reference in ten seconds or less)
The sports mascot The Famous Chicken® tours ballparks, and I’ve seen him a couple of times at Indy’s Victory Field. One of his shticks between innings is a dance contest against Barney the Purple Dinosaur®. The two bash each other around quite a bit, and there are big cheers when Barney gets clobbered. The purple guy wins, though.
The owners of Barney (Lyrick Studios, a HIT Entertainment Ltd. company) actually tried to sue The Famous Chicken® over his use of an obvious parody of the Barney character. The Chicken won.
I, of course, only thought about this question from the pun level, the fact that these two men have the same names as two cartoon cavemen. But now that I think about it, both are similar in a way- they are both children’s friends from public television. Although they have similar messages of warmth and friendship (Barney: “I love you…won’t you say you love me too?” Mr. Rogers: “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…won’t you be my neighbor?”), there’s a big difference: Barney isn’t real. The theme song clearly states, “Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination…” (emphasis mine) Barney is nothing but a stuffed dinosaur who is as real to the kids as Hobbes is to Calvin. All Mr. Rogers has to do is change out of his sneakers into a pair of cleats and step on old Mr. Plush Dinosaur. Mr. Rogers wins by default.
But would they … love … each other or LOVE each other?
And that, Dear Reader, is why he would win.
I don’t really understand that one. Although the kids who love him are going to see a giant, talking Tyrannosaurus rex next to the kindly old man in the colored sweater, all Mr. Rogers is going to see is a plush dinosaur. The kids could tell Barney to do whatever they wanted him to do to Mr. Rogers, but is Mr. Rogers going to react? No. Besides, Mr. Rogers knows the difference between reality and make-believe- he has a whole neighborhood of make-believe…wait a minute. The man talks to trolleys. I may have to rethink this one.
I thought it was Fred Mertz v. Barney Fife.
I’d go with the guy who carries a bullet around in his shirt pocket.
But gawl-lee, how can Barney Fife use the bullet if he doesn’t carry a gun?
He does, it’s Andy who doesn’t carry a firearm.
If the Deputy has his bullet buttoned away and the Dino comes out singing, I’d have to give it to the Purple Guy. If Fife can be locked and loaded, it’s a toss up.
A police revolver isn’t likely to do much damage against armor-like dinosaur hide.
On the other hand, Barney is built more like a plush toy, so perhaps Deputy Fife will win the day.
There’s no jacket on the .32 Positive Police Special round.
It will mushroom like a son of a bitch, and blow a hunk of polyester fiber out of the Dino the size of a nerf football.
Wait a minute- how did Barney Fife end up fighting Barney the Dinosaur? I thought Fife was fighting Fred Mertz. Unless he went away to do one of those bizarre Medicare commercials again…
Barney Fife would foil Fred Mertz by cheating him out of his Cocoa Pebbles. End of battle.