Massive Tyrannosaurus Rex jaws. Large muscular legs allow for astounding bouncing and hopping capacity. Shortish, limited mobility arms with opposable thumb and fused mitten hand. Hypnotic singing voice known to induce catatonic trance state in adults. Teletubbies:
Size- Variable- 6-10 feet tall
Weight - 200-350 lbs
Tinky Winky - largest tubbie- Purple - carries enormous red purse
Dipsy Second largest tubbie - Green with piebald tophat
Laa-Laa Yellow- with spike on head and large yellow ball.
Po Smallest tubbie- Red and has non-motorized scooter
Offensive Capacity -
Sheer mass
Televisions in stomachs
Weird ass alien technology
Despite Barney’s probable ability to best any tubbie one on one (unless the tubbies use an embedded brain controller like the aliens did in Mecharoboto-Godzilla), a mass attack will be too much for the proud purple warrior to handle and he will go down beneath a sea of tubbies… * or will he?*
Well, Barney was one of the monsters in ZAngband, the roguelike variant of Angband, along with “Bull Gates” and Santa Claus. (See, that’s proof of my geekitude right there.) The ZAngband Barney could shoot bolts of toxic plasma from his mouth and summon hydras. Beat that, Tinky Winky.
Ah, but the Teletubbies are from Britain which broadcasts TV in PAL format. FOX is broadcast in NTSC so their belly telly wouldn’t be able to receive a picture.
No - you cannot let such evil beings join together - such a match would herald the Great and Dreaded Cthulhu’s coming…eh, wait a second, I AM the Great and Dreaded Cthulhu, so lets get this match started.
I’d side with the Teletubbies here. The stomach television is a great communications advantage, and who knows what that baby in the sky, who I assume is their all-powerful god, can do. And they can match Barney’s hypnotic singing voice–I saw them do this once when they were explaining what the color green is (repetition of the word “green” while showing pictures of green things and playing some weird music in the background, and then, of course, repeating the whole sequence).
Plus, the Teletubbies are ineffably frightening. I’d just run away.
Ah, but the Teletubbies are from Britain which broadcasts TV in PAL format. FOX is broadcast in NTSC so their belly telly wouldn’t be able to receive a picture. **
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Yes, but they’re evil, so I’m certain they have multisystem PAL/NTSC/SECAM converters in their fuzzy heads.
