I have a facebook account that I started setting up about five years ago, but after screwing around with it for an hour or so I thought, why am I doing this? And stopped.
So I have the account, but I am not familiar with how facebook works at even the most basic level.
Long story short, I recently sent a message through facebook to someone I used to know IRL but with whom I do not have a “facebook friends” connection. (I could have sent a friends request, but its a “chicken and the egg” thing -> since I don’t normally use facebook I have no “friends” and would feel like a weird loser having someone find that they are my first “friend” at this late date…) When I sent the message, Facebook told me that since we did not have a “friends” connection, it would go in their “Other” mailbox.
My question is: Will they get some sort of noticeable indication on their home page that there is a message in their “Other” box, or will they not notice my message unless they specifically happen to check their “Other” box. Is the “Other” box normally filled with spam and other crap, so that most people do not even bother looking at the messages in it?
In other words, for the typical facebook user, is a message in the “other” box likely to never actually be seen, like stuff that ends up in your spam folder?
Probably a 60-75% chance it will be missed. Mainly because the “other” folder is not accessible via the Facebook mobile app. If the person mostly used the app (and a lot of people do) they will never see it.
If they use the website on the desktop there is a chance they will see it. It doesn’t come up as a notification (so if you have 3 new messages and one of them is in the “other” folder, your message notifier will only say 2). But if they pay attention they will see a (1) next to the word “other” which is next to the inbox notification when one clicks on the messages drop down at the top right of the page.
In my experience this folder doesn’t collect many messages so people don’t really assume it’s spam. BUT people just don’t notice it. So the low percentage is due to people not even knowing its there more than them ignoring it.
I’ve sent messages to people and gotten a response 2 years later “oh sorry I just found this now!” Not sure if it was the mobile reason or the ignoring reason, but it’s happened several times.
The good thing is that you should be able to know if they read it and are ignoring you. If they find it
If you do want to use Facebook and you want to communicate with your friends, there is no problem with sending a friends request.
It certainly makes it easier to chat.
Many people only have a very few friends, even years later whereas others accept and ask everyone. It has nothing to do with being a “loser”, its a personnel choice and everyone has started with NO Facebook friends.
Many people still open new profiles or create new pages for themselves.
Besides that, the recipient of your message should see’s the message popping up in some notification, but this all depends on how many notification that person get per day. It may just get thrown in the general notifications, which most people just glance at.
Best way, is just send them a friend request, they definitely see that.
Another good way to connect with old friends is to look up your old schools and join their community pages. Saying a quick “Hi! How’s the Class of “your years” doing?” can get you friended pretty quickly. Of course you will have to keep your eye on your Other mailbox as well just in case someone sends you a message before friending you.
And while on those community pages you can Block anyone you don’t want friending you. like the guy who gave you a wedgie in the hallway or that snotty chick who tripped you at lunch.
I have no “friends” and would feel like a weird loser having someone find that they are my first “friend” at this late date.
I never give a shit about how many friends someone has on Facebook. I never bother to check and it’s a totally meaningless number. Some people collect Facebook friends as a sport. Some people have jobs where they meet lots of people that they friend on Facebook basically for business reasons. Some people have very few friends. I’ve been on Facebook for years and I have less than 20 friends. It’s a personal taste, and absolutely nothing more.
People tend to ignore the ‘other’ mailbox, there’s a good chance your message will get missed. Just go ahead and send a friend request, it’s more noticeable and if the person recognizes your name or face they’re likely to just add you without much more thought. There are people who make brand new accounts or abandon an old account, what will come off as weird is not having only a few friends, but obsessing over having few.
For me, if I don’t recognize the name or face, I check to see if there are friends in common for how I might know the person. If I can’t figure out why they’re messaging, I send a quick message asking how they know me. I’ve never gotten a response (since these are usually spam accounts) so after a week or so I delete the friend request. Beyond that I don’t care, some people barely use facebook and others post a ton.
A while back I lost my wallet; someone found it, looked me up on Facebook, and sent me a message - it went into my (semi-hidden) “Other” folder, and I didn’t see it until several months later…if you want to communicate with someone you know, send them a friend request.
I have to thank you, because this made me check my Other folder, and there was a message from September there from an acquaintance. I had just been messaging someone last night and never noticed it, so it really is easy to miss.
