Basic fashion rules for those of us raised by wolves/hippies

Cafe Society
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If you want a slenderizing look, wear a top and slacks that are the same color – bought together or ordered together from the same source. For example, LLBean and Landsend list color choices by name in their catalogs. “Mallard blue” t-shirts on one page should match everything else that is “mallard blue” in that catalog.

Do you have a job where you need to wear comfortable shoes and pants? Is that why you are wearing socks? I ask because long skirts are so good at the moment. They still hide “problem legs” but can be fun to wear especially with a pair of pretty boots. (The boots may be a problem if you are on your feet a lot.) I have found clogs to be particularly comfortable for being on my feet.

Skinny jeans are in, but the ones that are skinny all the way to the ankle don’t look good on people with weight problems. Boot cut jeans or pants with a little flair at the bottom are good for balance.

If you don’t want to look short or plump, don’t wear horizontal stripes or double breasted coats and sweaters. Some of the new loose tops and tunics can help to hide a plump tummy.

White makes things look larger and darker colors make things look smaller. But beware of wearing black all the time! It will make you feel a little dreary after a while.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with scarves! The French wear them every which way! Wear more than one and braid them! Put them on your purse! Look on the internet for handpainted scarves. I usually wear scarves with solid colored outfits only.

Ask your friends what colors would look best with your coloring. Some people just can’t wear pastels. Some people look great in blues and purples. Others wear red, rose, and teal very well. Get advice.

Large women don’t wear bold plaids very well.

This information has been brought to you by an aging hippie. We were taught how to wear things in the Fifties and early Sixties. It was living by someone else’s rules that we rebelled against. What I have shared with you will be true ten years from now or forty years from now and won’t depend on fashion trends.
(Well, it’s possible that clogs and boots may be hard to find.)

Wear what makes you feel good!

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i thank trinny and susanna for their books. check them out on amazon.

you may be like me and have conflicting dos and don’ts. i find the british what not to wear a lot better than the us version. much more helpfull.

if you work with or have a friend who dresses well don’t be afraid to ask them to help you. i have friends who are interior designers who are fantastic at colours, they g-animaled my closet and had a great time doing it. i was then able to add onto what they started.

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Apparently not with tan-khaki pants.

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OK so someone explain how come they outnumber flat-fronts by a 2-to-1 margin on the racks and shelves.

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Because nobody is buying them?

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Because the fashion industry is run by sadists. Pleats look good on NO ONE*, especially pleats right at the waistband–they make the pockets bulge, which adds pounds visually to your hip region. Not good.

I have found that side zippered slacks slim me down about 10 pounds visually–I have no idea why, but now I look for them.

You need to buy some basics: black, white, gray, navy, brown, tan. I would go for darker bottoms and colorful tops.
Then add bits of color: red goes well with the all of the above. Green goes well with the gray, brown and the navy (depending on the green). Orange (hopefully not pumpkin orange) goes well with black, gray and tan, and the brown. Blue goes well with gray, black, white–see how this works? White tops are OK all year round. White bottoms are seen as summery (as are white shoes-I’m not about to start the whole what to wear after Labor Day debate here).

Keep your jewelry simple–studs or hoops for ears. Plain bangle bracelets, simple necklaces. The fussier and more elaborate something is, the harder it is to pull off. Scarves are advanced (and I’ve never gotten them to lay right).

shoes should be black or brown. Except for athletic and sandals–those can be a bit more jazzy.

Study women’s mags–maybe not Vogue which likes to put Hefty bags on anorexics and call it chic, but Glamour does its Do and Don’t columns, as does People. It’s a start.

*except rail thin female school children and kilted Scotsmen. Fact.

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It doesn’t matter because unless you are wearing sports clothing, your socks should be dark blue or black.
Also your belt and shoes should be the same color.

There seems to be some controversy whether you should wear a t-shirt under a long sleave dress shirt. No T shirt looks more sophisticated but keep that second to top button buttoned. Also, you need to wear a T-shirt if sweating is an issue or if the shirt is kinda thin (or white). I don’t like V-neck or wifebeater Ts because you can generally still see the outline under the shirt.

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I was raised by the wolves as well. My parents both grew up on poor dirt farms, my color-blind father’s family got by on welfare and my mother only had one skirt which she wore her whole junior year in high school. No one in my family ever was interested in fashion, and I’ve make the largest gains in personal vanity. I pretty much learned everything on my own and while I don’t spend a fortune on clothes, I like to shop and buy nice things.
Fortunately, I’ve got a good eye for color and sense on what looks good for people. I often get asked by women to help coordinate their outfits.

Anyway, enough bragging :stuck_out_tongue: and on for practical advice.

Women’s fashion is much, much more involved than men’s. However, if you are serious about learning the game, I’d recommend:

  1. Pay attention to what people are wearing in the office. If there is someone whose look you like, ask what brand it is. Make notes on what types of shoes they wear, socks, outfits, etc. I take it that you don’t work in a “high fashion” enviroment, but not a T-shirt and jeans either. Brands run from really cheap to expensive and knowing what people are buying can help you understand what range to look for.

  2. As you learned about blacks, there are many shades of the same color and you will never get two shades that match, unless they are sold that way. Never try to match navy pants with a navy jacket unless you buy them that way. Go for several shades of difference so you are matching a dark blue with a light one. When matching similar colors, generally stay away from really bright colors.

  3. Makes lists.

  4. Spend a bit more on shoes than you are used to. They seem like a waste of money, but it can make a difference.

  5. When shopping, get tops and bottoms at the same time or wear or take the item you want to match, then ask the salesperson for help matching (unless you’re shopping at Sears).

  6. Learn the basics of colors, including

6.1) hue, the name of a color;

6.2) value, the degree of lightness or darkness in a color, can be expressed by shades, tints, and tones;

6.3) and intensity (saturation or chroma), the degree of purity or strength of a color (hue) or how bright or muted the colors are. For example, an intense red is one that is a very strong, pure red color. When a lighter or darker color is added to a color, the intensity will be less bright.

Not only do colors need to match each other, but you need to work with the shades and tones as well as the saturation.

  1. Really learn to love lists.

  2. Find colors and tones which work with your natural color. I look terrible in really bright colors, but look good in more muted colors. One way to find this is to go to an expensive department store and have an experienced salesperson help find blouses for you. Look carefully in the mirror and see what a difference the right color makes. You don’t need to buy everying they show you.

  3. Good luck.

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There’s a book for everything. Trinny and Suzannes “What not to wear” have already been mentioned. Their strong point is advice what type/model of clothes go with what body “flaw”.

If you’re looking for some basic info on colors in general and colors that work best with your own skintone, eye color and haircolor, try some recent adaptation of “Color me beautiful” by Carole Jackson. It’s a classic, and while the style advice there is outdated, the advice on color is still very good.

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I was going to suggest these, as well as Glamour magazine, which has also already been suggested.

There is GREAT color advice given already as well, but the Color Me Beautiful book helps a lot with color families. Does White or Beige look better on you? It’s a good start, and once you know, you never look at the other again --saves a lot of time shopping. There’s an online site where you can buy a little book of swatches in your color family – this helped me before I started to remember them, and again, saved a lot of time shopping.

I wanted to put in a word for shape – the What Not To Wear people also cover this a lot. First, get a good bra – stores have bra-fittings that they advertise, go to one. The proper shape there will immediately make you look better. Then, buy shirts with some shape: don’t pick the oversized shirts, find ones with the curved seam up the side. This will make a huge difference in how nice you look, and make you look curvy and proportioned, not round. Finding these may take more time, but you’re saving time by not looking at half the colors anymore, right?

As already said, avoid skinny pants or tapered pants – a very common mistake, because women think it makes them look small at the ankle, but actually it creates a line up the body that balloons out to the waist – it makes the hips and waist look much larger. Boot-cut is best. You are looking for an entire body line, because that’s how other people see you.

Don’t get shirts with patterns around the hem. You want to draw the eye to the best part, so a pattern there will emphasize your largest area. If you are small busted, a pattern or stripe at that level can make it seem larger – good – but if you are large there, it will make you seem disproportionate, and not in a good way.

If you have good upper arms, this is your time because cap-sleeves are everywhere, but if they aren’t, stick to 3/4 sleeves. Bad arms draw all the attention.

Remember that you are sending a message with your clothes, and the message is rarely ‘I just don’t care,’ it is seen as ‘I don’t value myself’ or 'I am clueless." You don’t have to be fashion theatre, but a little self-awareness goes a long way towards getting people to respect you. You may want to think about getting your hair done somewhere a little expensive, because that always shows that you care about yourself. Yes, you have to go back every couple of months, but you just sit there and they do it.

Good luck!

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I wasn’t raised by wolves. My parents both seem to have some rudimentary fashion sense. My sister got all of the fashion sense genes, though.

Eventually, I got tired of my sister complaining whenever we went out together that what I was wearing was somehow wrong. (When I was about 13)

After that point I started choosing items to buy based on how much of a cringe factor I’d be able to expect from my sister. I got people at school asking me if my clothes needed batteries they clashed so much.

Good luck finding clothes that meet your requirements, but I can’t help you, myself.

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What stores are you shopping in?

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I enjoyed “What Not to Wear” but both the British show and the American show try to pretend there are fashion absolutes and there really aren’t. The bootcut jean was all the rage for a good number of years but is now starting to look slightly dated. Skinny leg and straight leg relaxed look more modern. (and to all you naysayers, do you remember the 80s and how dated “hippy jeans” looked at the time? We’re on the verge of another paradigm shift.)

Fashion changes and, if you care about staying in step, you just need to keep an eye out. High waisted clothing looked incredibly dated for the longest time but now looks fresh and new again. Platform shoes are hugely popular now but five years ago, they would have been a big fashion don’t.

One book I did really like is The Pocket Stylist. It has lots of good tips on how to shop for your figure, what to look for in quality clothing, and how to put outfits together.

Oh, and the navy & black thing. You shouldn’t put colors together that almost look like they match 'cause it’s gonna look like you thought they were the same color. You want them different enough that it’s obvious you knew they weren’t the same. I happen to think you can mix black and brown but you can’t just do it haphazardly, it needs to be obvious you know what you’re doing so if you have doubts, abstain.

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cbawlmer, there are some great hints in here. My basic tips for work:

  1. Find well-fitting black or gray slacks. Buy several pairs. Buy at least one knee-length gray or black skirt as well.
  2. Buy white, red or pink, and blue tops with both short and long sleeves.
  3. Buy a comfortable black of black shoes.

This way mixing and matching won’t be a problem.

merrily and eleanorigby have great advice, though it may be getting up to 300-level rather than 101. If you have a girlfriend whose style you like, throw yourself on her mercy and ask if she’ll go shopping with you. Without knowing what your coloring and shape are like, it’s hard to give details about what would be most flattering for you.

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My best very basic fashion advice:

  1. Do not wear clothing that is too small for you
  2. Do not wear clothing that is too large for you
  3. Wear a push-up bra. I am a 38 DDD and never thought in a million years that I could benefit from one. But they are a freakin’ MIRACLE, no matter what your bra size.

I recently made the transition from ‘‘jeans and t-shirt’’ to ‘‘slacks and blouses.’’ I feel so much better about myself ever since. I lost a bunch of weight (as you have mentioned you are doing) and was trying to squeeze into size 8 jeans because I could. But then I got some 10-12 slacks (brown, neutral, maroon, and tan) and various assorted tops.

For some reason, in the department stores, the seventies are in with a vengeance. I wasn’t even alive when they rolled around the first time, but this does have a benefit: everything is all brown and tan and neutral, which means that every piece of clothing I bought now matches with everything else I have.

It’s kind of miraculous. I highly recommend a large assortment of mix-and-match items in your wardrobe. This allows for a lot of versatility. And switching from ‘‘almost too tight’’ jeans to slightly bigger basic khakis made the difference, for me, between feeling like an overweight girl pretending to be skinny, and feeling like a plus-sized Sears model.

And I concur with the opinion that shoes are worth spending money for.
They can make an outfit.

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Most of this has been very useful advice. I appreciate everyone’s input! It makes me feel a bit better because I suspected a fair amount of it already, but never could have quantified it very well. I knew there were certain dos and don’ts that I wasn’t clear on, and I’ve always been insecure about my color-matching skills, so **Sage Rat ** and eleanorigby’s posts on color were especially enlightening. I should just print those out and tape them to my closet door. :wink:

TokyoPlayer: you sound like my husband, who spent all his time in art classes and knows a ton about color. That’s a bit advanced for me at this stage, but I’ll keep it in mind. Right now I’m at red + purple = no. :slight_smile:

I used to take my sister shopping with me because she’s really good at these things, and she could point out certain items in my closet that went together, but she’s working overseas now. With her help, I think I’ve gotten better about finding flattering clothes for my body type, so I’m not too worried about that part. I just want to make sure I can grab a shirt, pants, shoes, and socks (when necessary) in the morning and not look like a total clown.

One area I’ve done well in is jewelry. I don’t wear a lot, but I constantly get compliments on my necklaces and earrings. None of them are gaudy or expensive – most cost under $15, but they get noticed all the time.

olivesmarch4th: I wear a 42DDD and I have some push-up bras. You’re right; they make a major difference. I’m a big girl, but I’m lucky the weight settled in the Mae Westy proportions it chose!

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You should find clothes that fit you - most often, women look bad in clothes because they are either too small or too big. It seems simple but many people get it wrong. Also, any neutral color (what Sage Rat calls “drab”) can be matched to something brighter or patterned. So you could wear gray slacks with a pink or red top (whatever color looks good on you). Certain patterns, like tweed, are considered a neutral and can be paired with a nice, colorful top. I wouldn’t worry about what is trendy (there are many shops that carry more classical looks) but what looks best on you. When you go shopping, try on lots of things, even things that you can’t imagine yourself wearing - you might be surprised at what looks good on you. As for shoes, I know someone mentioned sticking with brown or black - which is what I did for a long time- but I recently bought a pair of red heels for work and they are my absolute favorites now. You can wear a bright, fun shoe with neutral clothes for a nice balance.

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Another good fashion tip:
Flip-flops are not dressy attire. Neither are Crocs. (Yes, I have been in Las Vegas this past weekend, why do you ask? :))

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:eek: What… actually speak to a *human being * in a retail setting? :wink:

The ones with all the pleated pants (we’re talking men’s pants, here, are we all on the same page?), and where I don’t have to strike up conversations with salespeople just to buy a shirt, obviously :stuck_out_tongue: :o Actually, the assortment IS better than it used to be but I’ve often wondered if the chains send all the less-stylish, slow-moving stuff to their store locations in the rural midwest, small-town South, inner cities… or Puerto Rico. (sinjin may have a point; just as I can never seem to find the pants I really like in my very, very average middle-of-the-bell-curve size, it may just be that by the time I bother to show up the savvy shoppers have cleaned out the good stuff. )

Sometimes I feel I can’t wait to be a Senior Citizen so I can get away with seceding from fashion altogether…
(On top of it all, I myself have always liked flat-fronts, but there’s this lady I know who’s just *mad * about pleats!)