Bathroom Situation at Work; Your Advice, Please (Will Contain TMI)

OK, at work the bathrooms are all private. That is to say, each bathroom is a one-toilet affair with a sink. There are no stalls or anything. The doors lock, and so there is never more than one person in there at a time. There are mens and womens rooms, but nobody really pays any attention and uses the bathroom that’s nearest to them. Men use the women’s room, and women use the men’s room.

Oftentimes I’ll walk into the men’s room and there will be a foul odor from the previous user who did #2. When I walk out, and someone is standing there behind me waiting to use the bathroom, is it polite to say “It wasn’t me!,” and thus call attention to the foul odor, or should I not say anything and hope the next user doesn’t think it was me?

I think the company needs to hirs someone whose job it is to monitor the bathrooms and make sure all the odors get attributed to the correct people.

I agree. Maybe an intern you could get for the summer with a t-shirt that says “that smell was mine.” Just convince him it would look good on a resume.

I thought thta in every office, it was pretty much common knowledge who stinks up the bathroom. In my office, it’s quite common to hear “watch out everybody, Frank just went to the bathroom again”.

Can’t someone put a box of matches or a can of air freshener in there?

I sense that you have not yet come fully to terms with the fact these rooms are, in practice, unisex… :dubious:

That said, Miss Manners is firmly of the opinion that one not only does not comment upon what happens in the bathroom, one does not even notice. For you to do both is… well, really!!!

Shut up, Frank.

Oh please. You know what happens when you spray strawberry air freshener over the smell of shit? It smells like someone took a shit in a strawberry patch!

And a box of matches? Open flames are frowned upon around here. We have a five-page rule book about Christmas decorations, fer Pete’s sake!

Imagine my surprise one day when I opened the door to the men’s room and saw my (female) boss in there, dropping a couple of kids off at the pool! :eek:

Needless to say, I stick to the men’s room, even though it’s a slightly longer walk. This at least slightly minimizes my chances of that happening with another female in the office.

I play this game. . .We both keep quiet and I won’t attribute that smell to you, but I expect you not to attribute it to me when you see me leaving.

However, if I see you walking out of the bathroom, and I discover a little bit of shit on top of the toilet seat when I go in, you better believe I’m attributing that to you. Because I’m NOT going to believe that you sat on someone else’s shit.

Of course that puts you in the unenviable position of having to clean another’s shit off the seat if you discover it on the off-chance you run into me as you’re leaving the bathroom.

(note: the occurence of shit ON the seat is pretty damn rare, but not non-existent)

How do you know I sat?

Sometimes you have to wonder what people eat. I swear some of the people at work eat casseroles made of sauerkraut, broccoli, taco meat, limburger cheese, ground lizard, and cigar tobacco. At least that’s what it smells like coming out.

I’m going to assume it, so you better clean it up.

During business hours we burn a candle (nicely scented). Also, I go out of my way to hire folks whose shit don’t stink. :wink:

I’d smelled it after it came out plenty of times, but never while. Thanks, I’d been curious about that.

How do you determine this during the interview process?

A Monty Python sketch just begging to be performed.

I thought it was a standard resume’ item.

Other Qualities: Works well with others, self-starter, highly motivated, shit don’t stink.

Undoubtably, the ability to perform an anal probe on an applicant during the interview process without them really knowing what you’re digging for is the mark of a seasoned professional.

I would put someone in charge of buying some cans of air freshener, but do not get vanilla or fruity scents or flower scents. They all just make the bathroom smell like vanilla-y “bathroom smell” or flowery “bathroom smell.” What you need is a plain old industrial medicinal Lysol-type spray. Something that smells like a hospital surgical suite. That kind of spray works pretty well in these kinds of odiferous situations. What is best to do is to use the spray every single time you or anyone goes into the bathroom. Then it will always smell like a hospital and thus no one will ever theorize that Hospital Smell = Someone Just Pooped, since it will always smell like Hospital Smell.

You can see I’ve thought through this very carefully. (Yep, I’m in charge of “air freshener” at my company.)