A particularly nasty tapeworm at that.
humor me, I’m bored
What does “pan-dimensional” mean?
It’s a HHGTTG reference.
The best i can figure is it’s a different plane of existance with physical laws that allow them to interact in our reality but not us in theirs.
You mean, like Captain Marvel’s arch-foe, Mr. Mind?
Does the worm have a utility belt?
If so, how does it stay on?
I’m guessing: duct tape
Clarification, please: does the tapeworm in question come OUT of Batman or his pets? (Wait, I don’t think he has pets, unless you count Catwoman) Or is it just it lurking about?
Batman would empty a container of salt upon the tapeworm. Easy victory!!
Okay, I’ll do a set up.
Way out in a different dimension, Batman is theorized to be the cause of a planet wide meltdown which annoys the inhabitants of said planet.
So, after determining who was responsible, they set out to annoy Batman. For revenge.
The tapeworm does what tapeworms do… rest in raw pork waiting for some Gothamite to eat them.
Aha! Then the battle begins.
The tapeworm is inside Batman. That’s what they do, right?
But… this tapeworm is more intelligent than all the SDMB members put together.
So, it’s inside his own body and is of extreme intelligence. How does Batman prepare for that?
Give me your best (or worst, I don’t care, just GIVE ME!) sorry…
Batman: You may exist on all planes of reality at once, but you’re still just a tapeworm!
steps on tapeworm
Next up: Batman vs a poo-flingin’ monkey
Does Batman have an anti-poo shield hidden in that belt of his?
Well, does he?
Is the tape worm prepared?
Like a fox!
The resourses of a whole dimension behind it, after all.
Have I finally found something (besides God) which could defeat batman?
You’re forgetting, Batman very rarely eats. It’s all Alfred can do to get him to munch on the occasional sandwhich, and even then they usually come back half eat. Batman is too busy fighting crime and seeking justice to eat!
The tapeworm will starve. Even Pan-Dimensional beings gotta eat!
Curses! Foiled again!
Batman is probably prepared to refuse to eat raw pork. It’s just a guess on my part, but I think it’s likely.
Now, should the tapeworm from the Pan-Dimensional pissed off melted down planet manage to make it into the BatGut, we’re in for a major league war of attrition. This might not be a simple victory, it could take months, nay, years before either of them can win.
The tapeworm of Dimensional Pantry whatever will be trying to remove from Batman that fine edge which has kept him alive all these years, thus rendering him merely incredible as opposed to preternatural. It will do this by siphoning off specific nutrients. Eventually, it will cause him to be deficient enough in Zinc or Riboflavin or something that he will be that 1/1000th of a second slower in avoiding the gigantic lingonberry shaped mass of lead that the Riddler has cleverly balanced on a devilishly clever trap thingy. Batman, of course, will sense this leeching and begin eating pencil erasers, small dogs, aglets, and so forth. He will try to take in more nutrients than the tapeworm can siphon.
Could be a long process. Not gonna happen.
Tapeworm boy has a problem. He’s up against not only Batman but the regular inhabitants of the BatGut.
Batman doesn’t abide substandard work. His internal fauna are the best of the best and then some, and they get the job done. Panda Mental Worm dealie wouldn’t be allowed to make contact. It would be verbally abused and roughly shoved out the end of the BatColon, and have to live in shame knowing it had failed its people.
Batman could go to a doctor and get a prescription for tapeworm pills. Kill the bastard in a couple of days.
Or, he could just ignore it. A hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional being manifesting itself as a tapeworm is, for the moment, a fucking tapeworm. It has no teeth, claws, etc. It has no way to jack into Batman’s central nervous system and control his thoughts and actions. All it can do is what tapeworms do – live in Batman’s intestines and steal some of his food.
I don’t know if this is true, but my high-school bio teacher once told me that in the 1950s, there was a very effective and very popular weight-loss pill – two pills, actually, one to be taken two weeks after the other. The product was pulled from the market when it turned out that the first pill contained a tapeworm egg and the second pill was to kill the tapeworm.
Well, Batman could always take his chestplate off, and repeatedly punch himself in the stomach.
It might not do any good, but it’d sure be fun to watch.
And then there is always the hard boiled egg and lemon cookie defense.
I really should’ve thought this out better…