Battlebots '22

I don’t know what it is about Witch Doctor that I don’t like. Those people just look so smug and irritating. Glad they got whooped.

[Deep sighs incoming] Look…take it from someone who’s been down that bitter road too many times. There are few gambles in this world worse than wishing ill on a sports figure. Fortunes can turn on a dime, and not only can anyone can break through to win the grand prize at any time, it’s often a complete fluke. Did you predict the season Clayton Kershaw would suddenly live up to his potential? I find Martin Mason annoying as hell (no, really :grin:) but I were to stake my happiness on seeing Madcatter get clobbered, on Mason having his third rate heel claptrap shoved in his face, what do you think it’ll do to my enjoyment of the show, my state of mind, hell, my ability to get a good night’s sleep if that does not happen?

You don’t know what it is you don’t like? Then don’t bother. Life is too short. There’s a good chance they eventually will win something meaningful, and being engulfed in rage is a lot worse when you can’t even explain it.

Hey, ah…guys? Not to put too fine a point on it, but does anyone care about bot that won the Golden Bolt? Seriously, nowadays it seems like the fandom is keen on talking about anything but the champ.

I don’t know about the “fandom,” but I don’t watch Battlebots because I care about the outcomes, same way I watch the NBA but I don’t really care who wins; I just want to watch the game be played, i.e. in this case, watch robots destroy each other. It’s nothing any more than that.

A “Vengeance in Vegas” video was just posted on YouTube yesterday (Vengeance in Vegas | Full Event | BattleBots - YouTube) and I thought it was a lot of fun! Just a bunch of matches between (mostly) lesser-known bots without commentary or hype. IMO the very first match (Big Dill vs Blip) had the best moment of the whole set (about 2 minutes in if it’s DLDW) and has to be seen to be believed. There’s also a WWF “chair match” which is silly and amusing. I’m not @DKW, so will not attempt analysis, but one interesting observation is no matter how impressive Deadlift’s suplexes are, they don’t seem to do any damage at all.

I hope they make more of these videos that focus on the matches without all the fluff.

Only had time to watch to the first break, but that second match was bullshit. How do you not give the win to the bot that far and away caused the most damage, was the only one with a working primary, and was still drivable. Riptide stole one there. They may have edged on control, but that’s enough when you can’t disable your opponent’s weapon. Bloodsport was the clear winner IMHO.

Oh, I agree completely! I was surprised that it was a split decision and gobsmacked when Riptide was declared the winner.

YouTube recommended Vengeance in Vegas to me a few days ago. I’ve been meaning to watch it, but there are about a hundred other things I’m keeping track of on the Internet right now. This had a very “just for fun” feel to it (especially given no Tauheed, Rose, Florian, or Abrahamson…guess the money just wasn’t there), and because of that I’m not really up for elaborate blow-by-blow analyses. I’ll just put in my general feelings, and you can hash them out if you like.

(Who or what is exactly is having vengeance on who or what? That’s my main question.)

Blip vs. Big Dill - The bot that isn’t useless against the bot that is useless, which ended predictably. It’s as if Blip’s driver got an order to take it easy and make sure every shot was full-force to give the fans a show, which frankly is all anyone should’ve expected out of this. When the final launch put BD on the upper deck, I was hoping that it’d have enough mobility so we’d see if staying on there too long actually resulted in a disqualification (those red lights serve SOME purpose, right?), but no, another clean stoppage. :man_shrugging:

Riptide vs. Bloodsport - Boy, gotta tell ya, it sounds way different without Rose & Florian in the background. Bam. Chunk. Bam. Chunk. Of course, Bloodsport was quickly upended and helpless but Riptide saved it because jaw-dropping stupidity apparently is freaking required now. :grimacing: I couldn’t really focus on what happened after that. (Ooh, chanting, another thing that I love! :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:) So this went to a decision, and…yeah, if I was a guest judge, I’d probably want to remain anonymous too. Riptide with the splitter. Argue amongst yourselves.

Captain Shrederator vs. Huge - A stark contrast in styles, which in Battlebots generally translates to “curbstomp”. CS actually had some decent offense early on, upending and frustrating Huge, but once Huge’s driver remembered that “slap it around a bit until it craps out” is always a winning strategy against CS, it was only a matter of time. Brian Nabe’s decision not to walk away from the ’21 tourney with a 2-1 record is looking stupider by the day.

Cobalt vs. Pardon My French - PMF took one hit, got inverted, and seemed dead. Then Cobalt blasted it on the upper deck, and PMF could move again, but just fails to escape the upper deck. The crowd is chanting (:face_with_symbols_over_mouth:) “one more hit”, but luckily Cobalt’s mid-mounted spinner can’t reach PMF on the upper deck. Count, stoppage. What exactly is the point of PMF’s existence again?

Pain Train vs. Deadlift - The bot that can’t take any damage against the bot that can’t do any damage. We’re not exactly getting the A-list tonight, if you catch my drift. Deadlift did its best defective forklift impression and scored the easy yooner.

P1 vs. Lucky - Two and a half minutes of aimless futzing (which the crowd endured with a surprising amount of politeness) followed by Lucky getting one decent flip…which left P1 stranded on the upper deck, it’s left wheels hanging uselessly in the air. I’m getting flashbacks to Royce Gracie’s early career.

Overhaul vs. Big Dill - The Chair Fight! Which is exactly what it sounds like! Minus the “fight” part! :roll_eyes: Seriously, this was just a huge mess, with Overhaul losing its weapon twice in the fifteen seconds and BD delivering “hits” that made the clown hammers look like freaking wrecking balls. Finally Overhaul’s driver said the hell with it and resorted to its conventional wrestling offensive, with the usual results. Overhaul’s chair was the most damaged thing in the arena. (Oh yeah, more ######### chanting. :scream::scream::scream:) Switching tactics turned out to be the right call for Overhaul, which got the yooner.

Mammoth vs. Rampage - Absolutely nothing going right for Mammoth lately, and this fight didn’t reverse the trend; Rampage methodically took off bit after bit after bit, receiving essentially nothing from that big clumsy club in response, and scored the most one-sided yooner of the night.

Blade vs. Valkyrie - Ugh. Always so frustrating to see these persistent control issues. Valkyrie seemed to do more damage to its own cosmetics than the enemy, but still was easily able to rob Blade of enough range of motion to claim a stunningly fast victory.

Main event: Jackpot vs. Riptide - See, this is why you take your goddam medicine when you’re facing a crusher like Riptide (the bot that completely demolished the “indestructible” Duck, remember). Because even if it does “save” you, that extra hit will do so much damage that you’re dead in the water anyway. The fastest stoppage of the night, an absolutely humiliating loss for the Vegas mavericks. I know you’re on a budget, but humility and good sense don’t cost anything. On the other side, man, now I’m really looking forward to seeing Riptide in the ’22 season. Looks like it could kick some serious butt. :slightly_smiling_face:

It was what it was, a fun, breezy exhibition to fill the time between events, and in the end a good time had by all. If you ask me, nearly all reality show would benefit from more of these.

And I never saw this coming in a million years, but I now have a newfound appreciation for Rose and Florian’s commentary. They may get annoying or step over the line once in a while, but they always provide a valuable service…namely, drowning out what the spectators are saying. Good lord, if I never hear another word of their moronic drivel again, it’ll be way too soon.