The recent thread on sequels that “don’t exist” mentioned two (hypothetical) movies which not only (would be) bad, unfaithful adaptations of the stories they were supposed to be based on, but which (would be) contradictory to the very premise of the original stories. “Starship Troopers” would take the militia of citizen-soliders and turn them into sado-masochist fascists. And “I Robot” would throw away the constant theme of the Asimov robot stories and novels- that we don’t need to fear A.I.'s- and turn it into a “killer robots out to destroy humanity” flick.
So how would you deliberately disrespect a classic beloved novel or story (particularly but not necessarily SF) if you were an evil scriptwriter? Remember, it’s not only got to be bad, but actively a travesty of the source material. My contribution would be I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream: a sadistic evil AI with godlike powers tortures and degradates a group of victims, but they bravely hold out and endure until they find a way to destroy the AI and free themselves.*
*Now all I have to do is kill Harlan Ellison and make his widow sign over the rights at gunpoint
Movie announcer voice guy: In a world gone mad with power, one man will fight for freedom and justice. Retired stunt pilot Winston Smith joins up with the beautiful Julia to struggle against the forces of Oceania in 1984: The Reckoning. Directed by Michael Bay.
I don’t have to disrespect it, just get the ball rolling and turn it over to the suits.
The Foundation Trilogy by Isaac Asimov. (I really don’t think that “I, Robot” is a really good effort by the suits, they are truly capable of MUCH better) A talking mule, named Francis turns out to have mind control and maneuvers his handlers into hilarious extra-galictic escapades.
Mission of Gravity by Hal Clement. Them Mexicans (OK, Mes’Kins) would be trying to excape their problems by somehow going over the River Bravo from their world into ours and getting around the evil Fence Guardians. Big Brother would ostensible welcome them if they succeeded by turning them into Soylent Green.
Hi, Opal by SDMB. A high class thinkabout it which sinks without a trace. Gross box office is -$0.16
There must be a few Dr. Seuss stories left to crap on…
The Sneetches, in which the plain-bellied Sneetches take up arms against their star-bellied oppressors, with much bloodshed, explosions, and huge battle scenes?
Green Eggs and Ham, about the nefarious Sam I Am’s plot to control the world’s supply of green eggs and ham?
How about The Butter Battle Book as a high-budget, Lord of the Rings-style war epic which completely defeats the moral of the original story? It will still keep the original ending, but by glorifying war by making it look cool, the “us vs. them can only lead in both being destroyed” plot is lost in the awesomness.
Horton Hears a Who: A harrowing tale of a middle-aged elephant, his dreams torn by an uncaring world, whose mind collapses with the strain of day-to-day living. Has he finally met people who care? Who is to say whether these people really exist at all…
My trick would be a rather simple one, that could be done for most works:
I keep the title of the work being nominally adapted, and then promptly come up with my own story, taking great care to include as little from the nominal source as possible.
EDIT: The most obvious example of this would be the “star turn” approach, in which we include everything to make the star happy, and very little from the original work (Such was the fate of many stage-to-screen adaptations)
The Martians land and get about for a while. All the humans die from the bacteria present in the stomach of the blood supply creatures brought to earth by the Martians. The Martians survive sucking blood from other animals. Daleks land but are fought off by the Martians. The next enemy to try and kill the Martians during their new age of prosperity and colonization of the galaxy are the Berserkers. The Martians are currently in a stalemate with the Berserkers. The Time Lords of course decide to mettle with the time line during this war, and stop the Martian invasion of Earth from ever happening. During this attempt the atmosphere of Mars is depleted in the Earth year of zero, and the energy output of the time manipulation is seen in the east by three wise men.
I like the Disney theme, why don’t we go with a Disney version of Finnegan’s Wake, too? Think of all the wonderful opportunities for song and dance numbers. (Okay, my fingers seem to be smarter than I am, at the moment, the original way I typoed that was “song and dunce numbers.”) A rollicking, cheerful send off for a great man!
The scary part is that I think this could be pitched to a studio… :eek:
Not that far off. I haven’t seen the alternate ending, but I’ve read in several places that the UK release of the 1956 Edmond O’Brien version ends with Winston Smith and Julia defiantly going down in a hail of bullets:
Stranger in a Strange Land. [movie announcer voice]Valentine Michael Smith, the Man from Mars, has come to Earth to spread his cult of wanton sexual excess and cannibalism. Can the blood drenched orgies be stopped before they corrupt the world?[/mav]
In a world where dinosaurs never died, one man must learn to survive surrounded by cold-blooded living machines, bred to kill. He must struggle into the wilderness to find his own kind and lead them against humanities’ most deadly foe. This is the world WEST OF EDEN.
Of course, our hero would invent gunpowder and destroy the lizards in a wild action sequence of velociraptors and explosions. But one or two lizards would survive to fight another day…