How can you top “The Scarlet Letter” reimagined as a love story starring a sex-positive feminist and a virile preacher who makes his own rules?
I mean, honestly.
You could remake “The Titanic”, only this time the plucky working-class underdog hero fights off class prejudice to save the ship and avoid the iceberg, winning the girl in the process. The grateful captain promptly officiates at the wedding as the ship steams into New York harbor.
Disney gets around to re-releasing “Song of the South”; the politically correct version!
I’ve got to see that one!
How about The Catcher in the Rye starring Shia LaBeouf as Holden Caulfield, the jaded teen. After being kicked out of school, he spends the weekend in New York getting drunk, getting laid and getting ready…for revenge!
How about an unholy crossbreed of Gone With the Wind and Spartacus: An action-packed morality tale of a series of slave uprisings on a major Southern plantation during the years 1860 - 70.
BUFFY: Hey, Ken, wanna see my impression of Gandhi? (crushes his skull with a club)
LILY: Gandhi?
BUFFY: Well, you know, if he was really pissed off. …
Parisian Holiday - Bored with the tedious life of a twenty-first century heiress (paparazzi baiting, arranging “accidental” public displays of her privates, being arrested for DWI, etc.), a spoiled socialite flees her family mansion and hides away on a farm with a kindly blue collar family. Her reputation and future are endangered, however, when the farmer’s teenage son writes an article for his journalism class, revealing to the entire world that the heiress had spent her “lost” week playing Parcheesi, and had not slept with a single member of the household. Balance is restored in the universe when our intrepid heroin (did I misspell that? Oops!) puts on a show of her own at the next FFA exhibition.
Bored of the Rings
Done straight.
(Hell, get Peter Jackson to do it; he’d be sure to screw it up) 
The Munsters Herman drinks too much wine and murders the entire Munster family in a fit of rage.
Sanford and Son “It’s the big one, Elizabeth!” {dies}
Mr. Ed Wilbur’s Wife: “Wilbur, what on Earth are you doing behind Mr. Ed with your pants down?!?”
The Brady Bunch It’s girls vs. boys in battle of the stepchildren. See Jan key Mike’s new Chevy convertable. See Greg gettin’ it on with Carol. Peter posts nude pictures of Marcia on the Internet.
I am Kunta Kinte!
The Wizard of Oz II or Death of Dorothy
Unable to get back to Kansas, Dorothy is installed as Queen of Emerald City and promptly let’s the trappings of royalty go to her head.
Unfortunatley, the Cowardly Lion, now a fierce and savage beast, becomes infected with rabies and eats Dorothy while on a ramage. The Tin Man saves the day by killing the Cowardly Lion with his ax. Driven mad by the act of killing his one time friend, the Tin Man throws himself off a bridge and quickly rusts into oblivion.
The Scarecrow, who had been deposed as the head of state for Emerald City, is again put on the thrown but is eaten by the Horse of a Different Color during a photo op for the Emerald City Star Ledger.
IIRC, Weird Al did this, too, in UHF.
Not only that, but Weird Al did in the movie UHF, too.
And not only that, he did it in the movie UHF, too, too.
???
Am I missing something?
Post #15?
(Sorry, didn’t mean to pick on you. It just struck me as one of those “‘Rio’ by Duran Duran?” moments.)
Wasn’t there when I posted. Can’t accuse me of missing it.
Interesting! I would have heard the Week Ending sketch sometime around 1986-1990 I think, but that doesn’t help as far as who plagiarised whom goes, since UHF was around that time too. I’m pretty certain it’s not a synapse cross-wire on my part because I clearly remember the “Oliver Stone Production” and Cobra reference.
Coincidence or blatant ripoff?
Just to stick to Heinlein - how do you think they would mess with Farnham’s Freehold?
You couldn’t have the black overlords with white female slave mistresses, and Farnham would probably have to lead some sort of Spartacus slave rebellion against the power instead of just going back in time.
Enders Game would end with a great final battle, Ender having become the greatest General of all time (and would have been recruited as a handsome teenager-played-by-a-25-year-old (and would have hot, steamy academy sex with Bean, who is now a woman.)
I think you win the thread. Add a sprinkle of annoying but marketed to the kids, possibly racially insensitive sidekick, and a dollop of CGI, and you’ve got yourself a deal. (Oh, and don’t forget the trans fat arguments that this will spark.)
And Revenant Threshold, I think they might actually be doing that one.
An alternate ending to Casablanca.
Renault turns out to be evil but is shot by Ilsa in the last minute. Then Hitler parachutes to the scene, but is killed by Sam. Rick and Ilsa get married.
The end?
You can “improve” any movie by adding either Zombies or Daleks… or both
Gone With the Wind II; Oil-Lamp Boogaloo
Rhett Butler’s plantation is under attack by Zombies, so they release their defense force, steam-powered Daleks…
2 hours of nothing more than;
Braaaiiinns!!!
EX-TER-MI-NATE!!!
Braaaiiinns!!!
EX-TER-MI-NATE!!!
Braaaiiinns!!!
EX-TER-MI-NATE!!!
Ad Infinitum
You can go ahead and give me that Academy Award now 