Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret, starring Dakota Fanning as a disturbed pre-adolescent unable to face her lack of religious upbringing and delayed onset of menstruation. Rated R for adult language, sexual content, and gunplay.
Jim Carrey is the solo protagonist as an unstable authority figure looking for some payback against the nefarious Jack Black in Me, Myself and Hamlet
“To be or not to AAAALLLLLLLRIGHTY THEN!”
That question mark leaves the door open for a sequel!
Flash Gordon (1980):
Ming is a benevolent Emperor of the Universe, trying to take Earth under his wing to guide it into peaceful utopia. Flash is sent to dispatch the Emperor and take over all the kingdoms of Mongo and claim them for the American Free States headed by the High King President, whom above all wants to control all the free markets of the universe. Ming’s daughter, a seditious “freedom fighter”, seduces the Prince Baron in an attempt to kill him, but he captures her and sends her to a therapautic reprogramming center, only to be murdered by the dumb brute Zarkoff who idolizes Flash. Flash, finding himself all alone, single-handedly kills Ming in hand-to-hand combat, freeing the oppressed minorities of Mongo and opening up the intergalactic market once and for all.
Yay!
Ooh! How’s about Cameron Diaz as a hot Gertrude, Whoopi Goldberg as Polonius (“Neither a borrow nor a lender be, because you know how that works out, you dig?”), and, in a special cameo, Paris Hilton as Ophelia. We’ll make millions in our opening weekend!
The Little Prince, by Antoine d’Saint Exupery – starring Jake Lloyd, Michael Jackson, dir. Chris Columbus.
What do I win? 
All you have to do is change one tiny little detail at a key point…
Psycho - Norman sees Marian in the shower, masturbates, and then goes back to a creepy but peaceful life of managing a run-down motel.
The Godfather - “The Corelone family will be completely legitimate in five years.” True to his word, Michael goes straight.
Guys and Dolls - Sarah sees Skye Masterson for the player he is and refuses to get on the plane for Havana.
Citizen Kane Charles’ affair with Susan is not discovered. He’s elected governor and becomes a leader of the political reform movement.
Superman - “Wait a minute. I’m the most powerful person on Earth! I’m gonna have some fun!”
Twist: Olivers Revenge. An orphaned child joins the London underworld and rises through the ranks by means of brutality and betrayal to become crime lord of the Victorian Era.
“May I have more, Sir?”
“MORE!?”
“Yeah, more, Bitch. My two friends Misters Smith and Wesson are hungry too. How much do they get?” BLAM.
A story by Dickens with one K. Not Dikkens with two Ks, the well-known Dutch author.
The War Of The Worlds
The Martians show up and get the crap beaten out of them by the British, who then proceed to travel to Mars and annex it as part of the British Empire, wiping out most of the Martians in the process. Everyone lives happily ever after (provided they’re an Anglo-Saxon Human), and completely ignores the Anti-Imperialist message of Mr. Well’s work.
Son Of The Morning Star
General Custer and the 7th Cavalry lay the smack down on the Sioux Nation, helped by the US Marine Corps who arrive by Blackhawk Helicopter, shoot all the Indians, and then plant the US Flag in the middle of the camp. The Indians apologise for disagreeing with the White Man over their generous relocation plans, and Custer is elected President of the US to great fanfare and celebration.
Shortly after Wells’ “War of the Worlds” came out, someone wrote a “sequel” entitled Exdison’s Conquest of Mars that pretty much matches your description, except it was the Americans, rather than the British, using the super-scientific inventions of Thomas Edison to subdue the Martians.
Is anyone else thinking these ideas are sheer cinematic genius?
Like this you mean?
In the book, the overlords were African blacks who’d survived and built a civilization after Europe, the Americas and Asia were nuked. In the movie, they’d probably change it to blacks who were clearly African-American in descent and culture, with a society/ religion clearly modeled after the Nation of Islam. Having white slaves and concubines wouldn’t be a problem but the suits would definitely nix the cannibalism subplot as too likely to offend. Instead of Farnham being the last free white man, they’d make him a sensitive liberal whose mission once he went back in time would be to preach multi-racial tolerance and understanding “before it’s too late”.
I wouldn’t say genius, but I was thinking that some scriptwriter lurker might be reading this thread and saying “hmm… you know, some of these don’t sound half bad!” :smack:
Jaws.
Okay, so, a giant shark movie. The problem with the original, clearly, is that it has the shark killing women and children, and then a bunch of white guys kill the shark. Clearly, that won’t play today, because a shark is just an animal doing what animals do. Instead, the shark will just sort of menace people, until some evil white male shark hunters go after it, and then they’ll get killed, but not by the shark; they’ll die through their own misdeeds. Great. So then we need a real hero, maybe a Native American marine biologist, who really understands the shark as a force of nature, and he’ll guide the people and the shark into a greater understanding of one another’s wants and needs. And we can shoehorn in a love story between the marine biologist’s adopted Chinese daughter and an African-American surfer.
We’ll call it Free Sharkie.
Good lord, I just had a coughing fit from this. You win, I give up! 
Casablanca starring John and Elizabeth Edwards. Famous line: “We’ll always have Wendys”.
King Kong Moves On – In his youth, Kong is an ordinary silverback gorilla imported from war-torn Rwanda and used as a signing subject in a decade-long linguistics department lab experiment at Columbia U., when PETA activists break in after hours, “liberate” him, and transport him to a safe house in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, where exposure to the heavy petrochemical pollution from the old Roebling site, in combination with Kong’s being fed an organic tabouli and a large wheatgrass juice with ginseng makes him grow very big, very fast. His sheer bulk exposes the PETA gang as the illegal sub-renters they are, and Kong is hastily evicted from the building. He makes his way across the Brooklyn Bridge to squat in Manhattan’s Central Park, where he is reunited with his linguistics researcher, who concedes to a complicated seven-figure leasing agreement with Columbia U., Saatchi & Saatchi, and MoveOn.org, in which Kong signs high-concept advertising slogans (“Phone home with IPhone!”) from the top of the Empire State Building Thursdays through Saturdays, but switches to non-profit, politically progressive causes (“Save the Rwandan gorillas!”) on Mondays and Tuesdays.
Keanu Reeves as John Galt.
I see Tom Hanks for the lead. And let’s make it live action.