I did get one deer up in Wisconsin – in fact, no more than a handful of miles from @Qadgop_the_Mercotan 's property. The weapon of choice that day: a 1991 Mazda Protege sedan. 
Was it done with such grace and artistry that you were awarded both ears and the tail?
I could tell you horror stories of trespassing hunters.
Shooting off the road.
Shooting on the state land next to our acreage. Which is a special research plot. So no hunting permits are given. But that doesn’t stop them.
Migrant farm workers camping out on land to hunt.
Deer chasers looking for shot deer knocking on the door.
Deer dogs roaming around.
Too much alcohol at the camps.
It’s a right mess. Let me tell you.
I hate deer season. I hate walking in my big acreage, with acreage around us, in an orange vest.
I hate hate hate hearing guns on the road.
I hate seeing the guts and carcasses dumped.
I hate finding dead animals every year after deer season.
I hate the hunters from other states crowding the back roads.
I hate the sound of ATVs.
But every year there are deaths in the woods. Mostly falling from tree stands. Some accidentally shooting themselves.
And one famous case of a lady running her husband over, with his own truck, because he wouldn’t come home from camp.
Back when I lived on the outskirts of St. Louis MO it was in the heart of whitetail country.
There was GM truck factory nearby. In good times the factory operated 3 shifts 364 days of the year. In less good times they cut the graveyard shift but still operated 2 shifts times 364 days. Yup, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years Day were workdays.
But not the first day of deer season in Fall. They closed the plant for that. It’d be pointless to try to operate that day w 75% absenteeism.
One of my pals was a white collar plant engineer there; the guys who design & troubleshoot the giant arrangement of machines and conveyors that make the trucks. Lots of interesting stories about the shop floor realities.
I managed to do it at about 55 mph, but in such a fashion that I was uninjured, and my car was cleared by a Wisconsin state trooper to continue the drive home, so I suppose that constitutes “grace and artistry.”
I was also informed that the deer carcass was mine to take, if I wanted it. I declined the offer.
When I worked for Quaker Oats, we had a manufacturing plant in St. Joseph, MO. We had the same issue.
They close school here.
Great allusion there @running_coach.
I was thinking of Ron White’s bit about his asshat brother the great deer hunter and his own kill scored with a Dodge(?) van with the horn blowin’!
I ride my horse in the woods several times a week, deer season or no. My two dogs and I wear orange vests and my horse and my wide-ranging dog wear trail bells. My horse also sports a very large very orange sheet over her entire rear end. I also tend to sing.
Many people give up the woods entirely when it’s shotgun season, which is three weeks long and goes from Thanksgiving to Christmas more or less. Bow hunters are okay, but the shotgunners sit around and drink. Guns and alcohol, great combo. Also my horse jumps out of her skin when she hears gunfire. She is more collected around bears than shotguns.
Speaking of Ron White I’m reminded of another Blue Collar Comedy Tour bit by IIRC Jeff Foxworthy, but might’ve been Bill Engvald, about taking his wife deer hunting. Once.
The bit’s climax punchline is something close to:
That’s the only time I’ve ever pushed a fully grown woman out of a deer stand.
Happened many a time growing up.
Nights on the farm were quiet! You could hear cars coming for a mile or more.
Swooooooosh
Short horn tootle
Long horn tootling with vigor
Quiet
Knock on door
“can we use your phone?”
One day, even I was that driver (on a different road)
But if you ain’t got that do-re-mi, boys….”
Helping our Newfoundland neighbours pack out a poached moose from the forest to a truck on the road, I was given a hi-vis vest to wear because there were other hunters in the area. As we neared the road, we had to dive for cover whenever a vehicle was coming, because it could be cops, game wardens, or someone who would report us for illegal hunting. The first time we dove for cover to keep from being spotted, I realized I was wearing the thoughtfully provided hi-vis vest and my neighbours were all wearing camouflage….
I don’t have to outrun the Law. I just have to lay low and not be spotted while you try to outrun the Law
Yup. That was the same year wildlife officers, the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary, and local police, aided by a helicopter, spent several hours chasing a poacher who tried to elude them on his snowmobile. They finally caught him: turned out to be the provincial Minister of the Environment.
Oops. Epic oops!
Returning to the serious point of our OP …
If they weren’t going to die of attempted deer hunting it was gonna be attempted snow shoveling later that winter.
Reaper gotta make quota somehow.
Personally I’d rather die doing something I thought was fun, than any kind of work.
My Dad used a ATV to get into the woods. It really helped getting the deer out.
It was a trade-off. It still took physical effort to load the atv onto the trailor.
It’s important to stay physically active year around. Otherwise bad things can happen when it’s time for mild physical exertion.
Yeah, no one around here, is dragging deer out by hand.
You get the ATV before you buy a home in these parts.
When you get really better cashed up and infirmed you get a Mule. Like driving a golf cart as far as I can tell.
Cost about as much as a small car.
And there’s ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow