D'oh!! A deer!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

@ 35mph THUDDDD!! :eek:

SONOFAFUCKIN’BITCH! :mad:
Good news: I was in my son’s truck and not my far lower, far more expensive sport sedan where it surely would have come over the hood and into the windshield. I wasn’t hurt. Deer was stunned and I thought I would have to watch it struggle and die in the middle of the road. But it eventually got up and hobbled away. No idea if it will live or not.

Bad news: The truck was in great shape and we were going to do some maintenance on it together when he was home over Thanksgiving. Father/son thing. But now the body shop says time for repair can run well past that and he’s going to be disappointed.

2

A raccoon dented my front grille/bumper the other day, also at 35, out of nowhere, no way to evade. Couldn’t find a body afterwards. The deformed bodywork [which I was able to twist back into place] may have cushioned the blow just enough to ensure survival, minus a big bruise and some broken ribs.

3

As I pulled into work this morning I spotted a 10-point buck negotiating the newly installed erosion fencing around the parking lot. I didn’t have to wait long as he figured it out quickly and jumped over, about 30’ in front of my car. But I was already stopped and he was aware of me anyway.

4

I watched 4 deer (2 each at 2 different places) mosey across the road leading out of my subdivision. Luckily, I had my high beams on and I was going slowly, because I know we have lots of deer in our area. Apparently, they go walkabout at 4:30AM…

5

For about a year my commute to work took the A22 across the Ashdown Forest in Sussex (Winnie the Pooh country!). It’s the hardest commute I ever had to learn. In certain winter months, at particular points on the journey, rush hour traffic would suddenly slow from 60 mph down to 20 or less without any obvious reason, potter gently along for a hundred yards and then speed up to 60 again - once more, seemingly without any reason.

Eventually I found out what was going on - deer are creatures of habit, and so they cross roads in specific places, usually at dawn and dusk. I found this out one dawn by hitting one of them. As it was at one of the “slow” points (obviously), I didn’t hit it very hard, and it ran off with an annoyed look on its face. A bill for a few hundred quid and a lesson learned. The forest is stiff with deer and experienced drivers know when and where to slow right down.

j

6

Years before i met her, my wife Pepper Mill literally hit a deer into the next town with her car.
Well, it’s not as impressive as it sounds. She hit it on the town line. but still…
The policeman who came to the scene asked her if she wanted the body. She didn’t. The policeman had a big freezer and a taste for venison.

7

I know a person whose car hit a deer’s ass, whereupon the deer covered the car in deer shit and firf. The guy rejected taking home the deer. And the totaled car.

8

Things to keep in mind about the Long Legged Forest Rats (Deer)…

1; they’re stupid, intensely stupid, and that IQ tends to drop the closer they get to a road

2;they’re most active during the sunrise, sunset, and dusk hours, they are also more active at night it’s unusual to have deer cross the road during daylight hours, but not unheard of

3; Most importantly (hence why it’s #3 :wink: ) is they travel in PACKS, when you see one cross the road, be prepared, as it’s highly probable more will cross, and since their IQ drops precipitously the closer they get to asphalt, the higher the probability that they’ll choose to cross the very moment it’s too late for you to stop, they are obviously blissfully unaware that the laws of physics prevent two physical objects from occupying the exact same point in space/time (either that or they’re stupid/suicidal/don’t care)

the moment you see one on the side of the road, slow down, and check both sides of the road, look for waiting walking venison, in low light conditions, look for the eye-shine from their eyes
(if you have a manual transmission, now would be a good time t push in the clutch and rev the vehicle to startle/scare them when you have enough safe distance between you and them

4; be prepared for the venison to make the stupidest decision you can think of, yes, 99% of the time, they’ll dart across the road, but sometimes they’ll stand in your lane, looking in your direction with bovine (ruminant) levels of brainlessness, refusing to move, or sometimes they’ll decide to run alongside the road with you, trying to “race” you, ready to dart at any moment (this happened to me, do a SDMB search for my old thread “Rabbit Vs. Deer”)

Deer, majestic, yes, pretty, yes, about as smart as a rock? YES!

……Delicious? most emphatically yes!

9

I’ve hit many deer. Totalled 3 cars
They’re out to kill me. I hit 2 at one time, once. It was bad. Lots of injury to me.
I drive real slow at deer times.

10

‘MacTech’-- I tried an experiment. For a whole year every deer I saw on my county road I beeped my horn in a fast 3 beeps. Kinda if a warning that Beckdawrek was driving by there, get outta the road. Didn’t work. At. All.
I can’t be sure if my deer population was always the same deer. But surely some were repeats.
This time of year, deer season, the woodland creatures are all stirred up. It is a dangerous time.

11

I keep going over it in my head and it makes no sense that it even got as far across the road as it did to end up in front of my car. It had to cross two lanes of traffic which were typically busy due to morning commute. Then, wait in the center dividing lane just to be in my blind spot shielded by the car ahead of me to my left. Of course the sun was low and directly behind it so chances of seeing it were nil. Then somehow it manage to get past the car to my left and end up on my left front corner. I didn’t so much see it as I heard it. Then nothing but deer flashing past my window. I was sure I’d killed the son of a bitch. I mean it could not possibly have lived, right? I pulled over immediately into a church parking lot on the right and looked for it. Sure enough, it was on the ground thrashing. I instantly felt sorry for it thinking that I’d have to just watch it die as traffic passed. But nope. In 15 seconds, it was up and awkwardly hopping away and out of sight into the trees like it was made out of rubber. That’s when I went from feeling sorry for it to wishing I could go hunt it down and kill it. And I’m not a hunter. But now I see why people like to shoot the fuckers.

12

My dad used to tell the story of how his car was hit by a moose. (Not the other way around.) As he told it, he was driving along and he saw a moose running down the roadside hill. The moose ran smack into the passenger side door to his car. Pretty much bounced off and ambled off. Dented the hell out of the right side of the 54 Chevy hardtop.

13

The thread title made me think of a funny Simpsons moment.

14

That took longer than I thought.

15

AT my previous job there was a part of the road that we all slowed down for, because at 5:30AM or thereabouts the deer were moving around.

Our kitchen manager was known to NEVER take time off for illness. In the eight years I worked there he did so only once. That morning he was driving in on that spot of road, slowly, with the driver’s side window down, as it was already warm. He didn’t hit the deer, the deer ran into the car, headbutting our manager. He came in anyway and tried to work, but had such a headache he went home for the rest of the day. We don’t know what happened to the deer.

16

Ah, for the days when there were funny Simpsons moments.

17

A few years ago, hubby and I had a total of four deer+automobile incidents in the space of about 9 months. Mr. M hit a deer in the patrol car. He hit another with the Suburban, at highway speed. Another deer head-butted the rear quarter panel of the Suburban while we were on the way to the big Christmas light display at the county commission chairman’s farm. And I hit a deer at highway speed, while driving the pickup. (To be fair, though, I missed the first three deer. Came around a curve while moving the last load, when we were relocating to the boonies, and Bam…bi.)

I learned that it’s best to hit the big rats with a full-sized truck. Minimal damage, no injuries inside the vehicles. And that the boonies are all right. After I hit the deer, I pulled over, checked myself and the dogs in the back set, and got out the revolver. I’d hit the youngish deer hard, broadside, and didn’t want him to run off to suffer a bad death. I didn’t want to shoot him, but I knew I probably had to. Fellow pulled over with me, and I explained. He said he’d do that for me. I hope he took the meat.

So, if Mr. Dark Green S-10 is reading this? Thanks again. I’m not sure I could have pulled the trigger.

18

Mac tech, may I humbly take what you have written, delete “deer” and insert “kangaroos”. Squillions of years of evolution have not left them well-equipped to think about fast-moving objects. And they bounce, so it is a matter of luck where they are hit in the bounce cycle. If you are unlucky, they will come through the windscreen still conscious and thrash about madly. If you have ever looked closely at a picture of a roo, they have upper bodies like Mike Tyson. And that is their weak set of limbs. The back legs are ridiculously powerful and armed with v. large claws. One of those things thrashing around in the front compartment of your car with you shocked and still trying to drive at 60 mph is counter- indicated.

Some years ago I was driving at dusk, hit one without any warning at all, and the windscreen was shattered but miraculously held. I could well have been roadkill myself otherwise. I feel your pain.

19

The car was in the driveway when I went out to get something out of it and found myself face to face with a six-pointer. I said, “What are you doing here?” He looked at me, confused, ran left, ran right, ran left, ran right, finally ran left and just cleared the neighbor’s fence.

20

You suspect him of trying to steal your car??