Be creative: How to rig an election?

Let’s assume I were a millionaire (I’m not) and I wanted to rig an election (I do not want to; I’m just curious); let’s further assume I were able (I’m not) and willing (I’m not at all) to pay some million dollars if I could make the election winner on my on. How could I do that?
One website recommended to dream up hundreds of different names and register all those non-existing guys as voters, but (1) I would need hundreds of different mailing addresses to fill in the registration forms and (2) this would work only in the U.S. because of a lack of permanent residents’ registers. I could of course bribe the ballot counters, but the more I ask to join my little conspiracy, the more people know about it, and the higher is my risk of being uncovered.
I could try to steal the ballotts before being counted and replace them with ballots in favour of my candidate, but that is even more dangerous. Yet there has to be some weak point in the system, so what should I do (if I actually wanted to do that)?

Just buy some TV time and tell the people to vote for you.

Start by hiring a Kennedy or Daly to run the campaign for you.

Tweice a year I travel to the Board of Elections at Clark County, OH, to oversee the software and ballot counting systems on election eves. (I represent the company that designed the software. I’m a friend with the company’s owner.) And I’m hear to tell you, it would be virtually impossible to rig an election. At least at the Board of Elections.

You’ll get better results with a Bush and a Harris.

Unless I manage to bribe <b>you</b>, of course. But in my opinion, no system is perfect, there has to be one weakness.

Easy. Vote the cemetary, and don’t laugh. It’s still being done. Isn’t it astonishing how many dead people still vote? What patriots!!

Okay, these aren’t really “rigging”, but they’re “ways”. I clearly have far too much free time…

The expensive way:
Pay some people to run along side you for presidency or whatever…Use your money to support their campaigns as well as your own. Then right before the voting day, have them all do something treacherous or say something completely offensive that would make the public hate them all. Looking for a “good guy”, the public would have to turn to you because you’d be the only one left and compared to them, you’d look like a saint. Then once you’re in power, start the plans to take over the world.

The less-expensive way:
Base your advertising campaign around releasing the “truth” about aliens and our secretly advanced technology (like stealth junk) and everything…you know, the big “top secret” stuff no one is allowed to know about. Of course it doesn’t matter if this stuff exists…People believe it does, so that’s what you work with. Sure, it sounds stupid, but look around you at the people you see every day. How many of those people would you say are normal average people as brilliant as yourself who would scoff at the notion of aliens and top secret government junk? How many of those people would want to know anything that’s marked “top secret” (“don’t push this button” syndrome)? LOTS. Even the people who just vaguely believe in the possibility of it all would be intrigued. All those people would vote for you in hopes of finally learning the “truth”. The people who vote but don’t really care would vote for you thinking you’re not going to have a chance anyway and so their vote won’t screw things up, because then they can tell people that they DID vote and not be subjected to patriotic speeches about how they should leave the country if they don’t want to participate and all that jazz.

Thus, the majority of the votes would be yours. Of course, you wouldn’t actually find out this top secret stuff and reveal it because then you’d “have an accident” for snooping around (heh). But by then it wouldn’t matter, because you’d be the president and you could just lie and say, you were finding things out and doing research, and that you’re about to release the information, while in the background you’re messing with other countries to make them thing other other countries are after them (planting fake notes that get “intercepted” and such)…then go in and stop the wars and take over their countries (because the rest of the world not involved would agree with you that since the countries can’t control their tempers and might start World War III, they should be under the control of someone else (you) and not allowed funky weapons and all…it’s in the best interest of the world). Slowly you could control enough of the world that anyone left would simply beg for you to “adopt” them because they’d have no chance if you ever decided to start a war with them.

Of course, that all assumes you want to take over the world as well. And hey, who doesn’t?

  • Tsugumo (I’m in no way saying there ARE aliens and “top secret” technological inventions we don’t know about…or ARE there? Vote for me and I’ll release the truth!)

I think the elections are generally tamper-proof, but
here’s at least one way you could try and throw a close

Bribe the city clerk to tell you the names and addresses
of all the people who asked for mail-in ballots, and the
date the mail-in ballots are being sent. Then hire a
couple of thugs to go take the ballots out of people’s
mailboxes. Then fill in the ballots however you want,
and send them in.

When (a few of) the people call and complain, have
the clerk send them new ballots. But have the clerk
discard the re-sent votes. (Or, have the clerk make
a policy that the last mailed-in vote is the one that
counts (“so people can change their minds”) and send
in your stolen votes the day before election day so
they override the real votes.)

There are lotsa little ways to stuff up the system.
Though I have to agree with the other people who said,
“Just buy some TV time, wear a suit, and tell people
exactly what they want to hear.” That’s by far the easiest way.

The 2000 presidential election was rigged by George W. Bush and his Republican henchmen, so just study their technique. But you have to be super rich and able to corrupt the Supreme Court as they did. There will be a Voter Rights March in Washington, DC on Saturday, May 19th to protest the rigged election.

Why rig the election when you can rig the elected? Sorry if this is tangential, and I am by no means an expert on the ins and outs of government, but it seems that through financing the political campaigns of the frontrunners and lobbying efforts after the election you would get a lot more political influence for your money.

All the ideas thusfar are too expensive, too complicated, too time consuming and involve too many people.

The sweetest system I ever heard of – it’s an old Tammany Hall trick, I think – is cheap, easy and frighteningly effective. In fact, it works better if you want to steal an election for an entire slate of bums. Unfortunately, it’s only feasible in smallish local elections using certain types of voting devices.

Here’s what you do:

  1. Get yourself placed on the ballot of the office you desire. Do a weak job of campaigning. The weaker the better.

  2. Recruit (or bribe) 2 loyal voters in each of the districts in which your name appears. CheezedOff’s suggestion of using cemetery names might come in handy if the going gets tough.

  3. Early on Election day have one of your loyal voters go into the voting booth and switch your name label with your opponent’s.

  4. Toward the end of the day have loyal voter #2 switch them back.

  5. All the votes you got will have registered for your opponent, and all the votes he/she got will have registered for you. If you did a lousy enough job of campaigning you should be the winner.

Depends a bit on the scale of election you are trying to subvert. If it’s a local government position where the number and proportion of votes cast is small, it’s just a case of collecting just enough votes from those who didn’t or couldn’t.

If you are looking at larger scale then ballot tampering is likely the method of choice. Marcos seemed to have no difficulty switching the odd million votes.

In general what you look for is the smallest democratic unit in the process and stack the numbers there. In most cases these are the committees that select the candidates or maybe the party candidate is directly elected from a membership rump, so you conduct a little branch stacking.

If you want to check how some professionals do it, I’d commend some research into the regular interfactional “warfare” between the left and right wings of the Australian Labor Party.

Didn’t JFK rig the election-or rather, his daddy did it?

[Moderator watch ON]

Guinastasia and Jomo Mojo, you’ve both been here long enough to know the difference between the fora. Maybe Dubya did rig this election. Maybe JFK rigged his. Maybe Dubya wnet back in time and rigged JFK’s election. Maybe the Illuminati rigged both. If you want to discuss that, though, then GQ is not the place. Got it?

D’oh! I’m sorry, Chronos. I forgot!