Hey, wait a minute. This wouldn’t have anything to do with contracts signed in blood, would it? If so, does it have to be my blood? Does it even have to be human blood? What about ketchup? Other condiments? Help a guy out here…
Aw, c’mon, Lindy, read the name - FairyChatMom, fercryinoutloud… what in that name suggests blood? OK, so my dog did scratch my arm and it bled a little, but let’s not go off the deep end here. Just a hint - in my household, ominous music accompanies such processes as mowing the lawn, scrubbing the shower, or scooping the poop. Check out some of my posts - I’m nice, ya know? I have this reputation for being nice and all that crap.
sheesh, blood… If you weren’t a Pal of Rue, I’d likely sniff derisively in your direction…
Oh, yeah, that was lesson 1
T.Bunny, in my life, I have pals, Special Friends and everybody else. You could be my pal, no prob. I don’t discriminate, your post count isn’t an issue.
Come! Be my pal!
Eyeing Icey is a good idea. Uneasily? Why? A bunny could do far worse than the ever-lovely Ice Wolf. Who wants to live forever?
Live fast and die happy, that’s what I always say. (When I’m not saying “drivel”)
-Rue.
::ThunderBunny Melts
Awww… ain’t that sweet. Rue, u da man. Quite the dude. Dude Rue.
And since we’re pals, next time I see ya at the soda fountain I’ll buy you a big rootbeer float. Cuz pals do stuff like that.
And IceyWolf is pretty easy on the eyes, from this angle. I have to grant you that. Just that she’s the kinda gal my mama warned me about! 
Rue, this is apropos of nothing in this thread, but I was just wondering if, maybe around Halloween, you could do a light-hearted thread called Murders of the Rue Morgue. Just 'cause that’s what pals do, y’know?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Rue DeDay *
**I think I have a bunch of pals around here. Jester’s my pal. And so is Astroboy, even though I kid him. A lot. ShibbOleth, and Spritle, and Carina, and deepbluesea, and Ice Wolf. They’re all my pals. At least I hope so. And BunnyGirl and thinksnow too. And Mangetout and Bumbazine and SexyWriter and xizor and Bad News Baboon, and Another Primate. **
Rue, Thanks for including a newcomer into your pal fold. (Or did you really mean, Bad News Baboon and “some other primate”? That sure would’ve covered all your bases… when folks complain that they weren’t mentioned, you could say, “Ah, but you are! You’re in the primate group!”
-Sue
p.s. Question is facetious. I know you really meant me. And if you did not, don’t tell me. It’s very comfy in my brain.
p.p.s. Thank you for a very hearty Wednesday night laugh. Actually, several laughs.
Oh. A diversion, am I? And a tossed one at that. Hmmm. [intent look, deciding if this is a good thing or a bad thing]
Well, I could divert, I suppose. I could read some poetry, as I am, after all, a poet.
I could also tell stories about my kids, but you know how people get bored when they hear stories about other people’s kids. I could tell stories about soapmaking, but you know how people just look at you blankly when you talk about saponification and stuff. I could talk about my dogs, now people might like that. Except my dogs are boring…
How 'bout I just make some banana bread? Then you could beat a hasty retreat whilst everyone weeps in awe, in absolute wonder of the heavenliest of breads.
Now I just have to wait for these bananas to get over-ripe. Give me about three days, 'kay?
~karol
Oh, OK. I’m just not used to ominous music being put to, um, nonominous events. [sub]disominous? subominous? antiominous?[/sub] I’ll try to do better in the future.
And I already know you’re a nice person; I swear, it was just the ominous music. So what’s lesson two? Sneering? Damning with faint praise? Protesting too much? Lay it on me! I can take it!
ThunderBunny, have no fear. While I am an admitted carnivore, I have not eaten, nor really have any intention of eating, bunnies. Your kind are cute, sweet and cuddly, and I’ll keep the wild cats away from you all, I promise.
And Rue, you continue to say the nicest things, my dear man, when Ice Wolves feel a tad down. Thanks.
I have to find a “hort”? What the Hell is a hort?
Wait…I think I remember reading about a hort once. He was a big elephant who everybody loved. Until he started going crazy. First, he tried to nurse the egg of a bird friend of his, but he’s an elephant, for chrissakes. Squashed it flat. There was a lawsuit, and everything. Pretty ugly. (The lawsuit, that is. Not this “Hort” fellow. Though elephants ain’t exactly the best looking animals)
Anyway, he was pretty much driven to drink by the whole thing, sad story really since he used to be such an upstanding young elephant. Then he started hearing the voices. Sure, he said that they were “Who’s”, telling him something about the evils of overdevelopment, but everybody knew that he’d finally dove off the deep end. (Not to be confused with deepbluesea). So, they locked him up in the nearest elephant-institution, and the last I heard of him he was sucking back enough medication for Phar-Mor to set up a branch in his stomach.
So is that what you want me to find? A schizophrenic alcoholic elephant? Cause if that’s it, then it’s no sweat. If I had a nickel for every schizophrenic alcoholic elephant, I’d be rich. If you consider having one nickel to be “rich”. Because that’s how many I would have. One.
And it would be wooden. Bastards always trying to rip me off…
What were we talking about again?
Let’s not minkey around with that, huh? Bad puns, what do you take me for? Alot more than it cost Ice Wolf to take me, I can tell you that right now, Bub. (Icey, a comely lass from all angles.)
You have to ask if it’s good or bad? Do you know where I’d have to put my hands for a good old fashioned tossing? A fun time had by all, bay-bee.
“Saponification”, yeah that reminds me of something. (Link-ity link-ity.)
T.Bunny, think about this deal before you go for it. bobkitty is one wild cat, and you wouldn’t want to be kept fron her.
Trust me.
But this would put you in the very capable paws… hands of the delectible Ice Wolf.
Decisions, decisions…
And Jester, you brought up the whole cohort business. I figuered you’d know what hort you wanted to partner with. It’s you’re call.
[sub]'Nother, it was you. Oh yeah, baby, it was all you.[/sub]
-Rue.
Rue, Rue, Rue…you got me all wrong here. This isn’t about puns. This is about promotional tie-ins. Was I right or was I right about the Action Figures? Now in this case I see Television Special, maybe we go upscale with HBO, or if they don’t bite I can line you up a nice little Sunday Night gig on Fox. Promote it in breaks during their NFL Sunday sportscast. Maybe lead in with the Simpsons’ Halloween Special.
And what’s with minkey, are you channelling Peter Sellers?
Okay, obscure soapmaking info here…I just can’t resist.
Shoot. I don’t know how to link yet. But anyway, this whole story is just too weird. I haven’t researched it enough to find out what really happened, but:
-
A low temperature will reduce the chance of saponification, not increase it. The process produces heat; if you try to make soap in an environment of 45 degrees, my guess (and my experience) is that it wouldn’t work.
-
Salts + water do not equal soap. Oils (acid) + lye (base) = soap. Is salt a base or an acid? Water? Not sure. My chemistry only extends to the products I use, and I’ve never made soap from salt and water. Mostly, when I work with salt and water, I end up with saltwater.
-
“Real” soap isn’t lighter than water. Real soap sinks. Unless you whip it, while it is still soft, with lots and lots of air. Then it is fluffy soap, which will float.
Great link, Rue. I have to check this one out more thoroughly. Thanks!
~karol, crusader against soap misconceptions
Rue, you’re so smart!
Yep, I got the crappy Christmas birthday. Many years of birthday parties where most of my friends were out of town for the holidays, :: sob :: combination Christmas & birthday gifts :: sob :: oh, the horror. The horror.
Thank heaven above my mother didn’t go with her instinct and name me Holly. That might have been too much to bear. I did end up with the middle name Noelle, but that’s much more subtle.
Lord, look at the time, I must fly!!
:: flips cape and heads to the RueMobile ::
Shibb, baby, cookie, honey, sweetheart, darling. As Chief Counsel, Tame Lawyer and All-Around General Legal Eagle for Rue DeDay Enterprises and all bodies, entities, organizations, affiliates, subsidiaries, divisions, units and groups appurternant thereto, I must ask that you refrain from making propositions outside my presence. Please, if you’re going to be propositioning my client I need to be there so I may fully participate.
[sub]Hmmm. . .that didn’t come out the way I intended. But I’m sure they won’t read anything into it. [/sub]
Anyway, if you’d like to submit a treatment to me for review I’d be glad to sit down with Mr. DeDay. Rest assured that we will give the aforementioned matter the time and attention it so richly deserves.
*taps foot against big trash can next to Impressive Lawyer Desksup[/sup] *
Besides, I own the rights to Rue’s impressive, educational and entertaining life story. Production starts next week in Hawaii. He’s not from there and has never visited there in his life, but I was able to get an expense accoun. . .I mean, we’ve taken some steps to make the story more suited to a broader audience.
Now, if you’d like to discuss the Rue DeDay Happy Meals I’m all ears. . .
Zappo
Frantically leafing through his book collection to see if there’s any of this “law” stuff in back issues of “High Times”
I’ve got a lawyer-guy usurping my life and money-making enterprises. And he’s talking about groups “appurterning” me. (Whatever the Hell that means. I hope it involves oils. Maybe just nubile maidens.)
But you know what? I don’t care. I’m just enjoying scout in her Scout Girl tights trying to get the Ruemobile’s doors unlocked.
They stick honey! You’ll have to give it more body English!
I could watch this all day.
-Rue.
:: jiggle ::
dammit
:: jiggle ::
I…can’t…get…it…OPEN!
Huh? What’s that?
OH! You meant jiggle the KEY. Well no wonder.
:: blushes ::
Good grief I can hardly see straight to type…
(snort) Oh dear… (snicker)
ok, ok, all composed again. I’m ready. Everything’s ok here.
You can jiggle some more now. Go ahead.
Rue baby, don’t worry about a thing. I got your back, dude! Would I lead you astray? Would I kill the goose that lays the golden eggs, slugger?
[sup]Damn. . .did I say that out loud?[/sup]
Anyway, don’t worry about a thing. You and scout go for a nice loooooooong ride. I’ll take care of everything. But before you go, could you sign a couple of blank checks and leave the keys to your Fantastic Swingin’ Pad? I, uh, er, ahhh. . .want to get the carpets cleaned. Yeah, that’s it.
Remember, you can trust me. I’m a lawyer!
Zappo
Alright, fine. I’ve abandoned the whole “cohort” thing. It all got too confusing.
But hey, if Zappo gets to be your sleazy lawyer, can I be your personal security manager? I look good in leather and sunglasses, and sometimes I can be intimidating…if the light hits me at just the right angle…and the alleged attacker is really small and weak…
Please?