It’s made for horses to pull out the loose hair when they are shedding. The handle should separate so you can have one end in each hand and you rake it over the horses coat to pull out the dead hair, or you can bend it and attach the handles to use one handed. The metal is flexible and if you swing it by one handle it hurts like hell if you get hit with the other handle. It hurts worse if you get hit with the metal, it has teeth on one side for hair and smooth on the other side to use as a sweat scraper.
Horses love it when you use it on their backs and hind quarters, using it too roughly on the flank or belly might get you kicked.
A sock with a bar of hand soap - bath soap does a pretty good job. I suppose it is midway between a sock with a pool ball and a bunch of oranges wrapped up in a towel. I can assure you that a roll of quarters in a sock is just about a good as a sap.
Have her grab a gooseneck lamp off the desk and flail away with that, with the base as the hammer head. After a few swings have the cord become entangled around the victim’s arm or neck, at which point she can start stomping and kicking.
A cricket bat. A razor strop. A wooden rod no thicker than your thumb. A riding crop. A horse whip. A flail. A morning star. A cushion from a comfy chair. A stalk of celery. A length of coax cable. lamp cord.
I think you should give us more… do you want welts, red marks, bruises, cuts, broken bones, organ damage or what combinations?
I don’t know if you’re supposed to dock the tails of pit bull terriers or not, but [del]speaking[/del] typing from personal experience, the wagging tail of a friendly pit bull terrier who is very happy to meet you for the first time can raise red marks that are nearly welts on your lower legs if you happen to be wearing shorts while you’re petting them “Hello, who’s a good puppy!”. For some reason, no one ever warns you about that sort of pit bull injury.
My grandfather once beat my uncle with a rope. One of those twisted scratchy kinds. It left welts and cuts and the cuts got infected. Cost my grandfather some money because he had to take my uncle to the doctor.
After that he went back to the razor strop, until my uncle took the top off one of the chain link fence posts and dropped the strop inside.
That was before my time.
I just got to hear about it.
All y’all sugesting oddly shaped whatsits - telephone handsets, irons, soap in a sock - are you actually picturing whaling on someone with these things?
Because maybe it’s just me, but they’re seeming awfully awkward to me.
A ceramic, marble, or bronze figure. Ceramic will hold up long enough to give a couple good blows to the head or face. When it breaks the jagged edges will do additional damage. There was a case in South Carolina not long ago where someone used a ceramic figure to beat the hell out of somebody else so we know it works.
A marble or bronze statuette may do more damage than you’re looking for but it would work in a very short amount of time. Even used by someone who’s not very strong it would seriously mess you up in just a few hits. In the right place a single hit could cause an incapacitating skull fracture. From there you could bash away at your leisure. Being rather brittle, the marble would lose it’s appendages in the first round of blows but the bronze would keep it’s sharp bits to give you gouges and punctures aplenty.
Murano glass would also make a good weapon. Most of the new stuff isn’t great but the stuff from the 60’s and 70’s was often over an inch thick and very heavy. An ashtray from that era would break bones easily.
If your fight breaks out near the kitchen you could always go for the classic of classics. The cast iron skillet. Nice and heavy with a bit of reach, it has flat surfaces and hard edges for good mix of possible injuries. While we’re in the kitchen, I’ll agree with those who suggested the rolling pin earlier. It has a great club shape with a convenient handle and it also comes in marble.
For lighter damage something like a yardstick or a cane (especially one with a metal head) would work just fine.
