In spoilers of course. I mean, you might not have gotten around to this in the past
410 years.
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DARN YOU vBULLETIN! Well I’ll show you. I’ll post this in ten parts.
Oh, and you think you’re so smart? Well for the record, Hamlet only has 23 characters. So you were off by 184397.
OK, maybe to save time, I’ll just repost Fortinbras’ dialogue. I’ll do it from memory based upon every play I’ve seen of Hamlet.
…
[sub]Poor Fortinbras. He’s the red-headed stepchild of Shakespeare[/sub]
Funny, that’s the same thing the character of Fortinbras says in A Wrinkle in Time.
Not to step on the joke, and Enderw24 did include the “from memory” disclaimer, but let the record show that Fortinbras the younger does have lines:
IV,4
Go, Captain, from me greet the Danish king.
Tell him that by his license Fortinbras
Craves the conveyance of a promis’d march
Over his kingdom. You know the rendezvous.
If that his Majesty would aught with us,
We shall express our duty in his eye;
And let him know so.
IV
Go softly on.
V,2
Where is this sight?
V,2
This quarry cries on havoc. O proud Death,
What feast is toward in thine eternal cell
That thou so many princes at a shot
So bloodily hast struck.
V,2
Let us haste to hear it,
And call the noblest to the audience.
For me, with sorrow I embrace my fortune.
I have some rights of memory in this kingdom
Which now, to claim my vantage doth invite me.
V,2,4064
Let four captains
Bear Hamlet like a soldier to the stage;
For he was likely, had he been put on,
To have prov’d most royally; and for his passage
The soldiers’ music and the rites of war
Speak loudly for him.
Take up the bodies. Such a sight as this
Becomes the field but here shows much amiss.
Go, bid the soldiers shoot.
As film versions of Hamlet usually seem to be conceived as star vehicles by and for actors who presume the audience is only interested in them, Fortinbras’ role is often omitted. But on the Elizabethan stage, his final speech (the last lines of the play) would have been vitally important, for without them the principal actors would have had to remain on stage uncomfortably pretending to be dead while the audience filed out.
And yes, I did just spoil the ending of the play, but I can live with that.
How many plays did Hamlet write, anyway?
“Who’s there?”
Well there was the one. Caught the conscience of the king, it did.
I think he only wrote a few lines to add to the old play, The Murder of Gonzago.
That’s the one about the guy with schizophrenia right?
Well, rewriting old plays seemed to work remarkably well for Shakespeare, why shouldn’t Hamlet have a go at it?
I have a way around the “too long” restriction that would allow me to post the whole play, so I’ll do it now. Well, maybe not now, it’s early in the morning. I’ll do it later. Or maybe I shouldn’t do it at all? No, no, I’ll do it. Or perhaps not.
Dude. Give up the ghost and post it already.
Perhaps you should flip a coin repeatedly. That might help with the decision.
Can we add in Muppets? Muppets make everything awesome.
I remember how it goes
Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burned the topless towers of Ilium?
Mmm, topless Helen…
Thomas?
Mirren.