Teenage vampire wank.
Sums it up perfectly.
Vampire Super Baseball?
If you had super powers of running and jumping and such, why play such a slow paced sport. Vampire super soccer or basketball would make more sense. Hell vampire super Ping Pong would be cooler.
band name!
Do you think it’s going to be like Titanic, with lots of re-viewers? I ask because, while $70 mil is certainly a huge opening, with all the fanfare I was expecting it to be closer to Harry Potter’s $90 mil.
Honestly, I think so. Heck, I was a total hater going in to it and I think I’d like to go watch it again. So, if someone as hateful and cold hearted as me wants to resee it, the true fans (and there are TONS of them) will probably go watch it a few times,
That said, I am aware that a lot of people in my age group (18-25) went to go watch it to make fun of it. I’m sure they wont be going twice. So, who really knows.
Huh. That book felt like perfect movie-fodder.
Oh well, shows what I know.
You should tell Bram Stoker.
More on Forks, WA.
I’ve seen it twice. I intend to see it at the theater at least once more before ending up with it on DVD. I’ve read all 4 books and I’m starting Midnight Sun as soon as I’m back from vacation.
Man, I loves me some Edward Cullen.
For those of you who have seen the movie and enjoy a good laugh, I give you this.
Which of these contradicts what Stoker wrote?
And, my grandmother knew original folktales and claimed to have been there at a “staking” as a young girl.
Oh my. As an aside, if you wouldn’t mind sharing that story in another thread, I think I’m not the only one who would be interested in reading it.
SNL Weekend Update dude made a joke about this Saturday Night. I can only paraphrase, “RJ Reynolds is under attack for selling cigarettes that critics say are marketed toward teenage girls, citing the pink, gum wrapper shaped box and that it discusses the movie “twilight” 24 hours a day.”
I meant to reply to this earlier. The author can make vampires whatever the hell she wants vampires to be, because vampires don’t really exist. There are tons of global vampire myths, none of which are identical to each other or Stroker’s.
Comments like this remind me of the explosion of discussion whenever a movie about robots comes out: “OH MY GAWD! ROBOTS DO NOT DO THAT BECAUSE THE ROBOT RULES OF ROBOTRY SAY SO!!!” Same thing with zombies.
Linky
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=481413&highlight=vampire&page=2
A young maiden died on her wedding day, after being left at the altar by a cad, who seduced her by a promise to marry, etc. Broken heart or suicide? Anyway, the A/H Emperor had sent a young RC priest to take the place of the good and holy Orthodox priest. The ignorant and arrogant RC priest refused to let the girl be buried in consecrated ground. She was buried in her wedding gown and veil. That (?) night, she crept out and went to the door of the cad, and asked to be let in, promising more kisses. He was such a cad he hadn’t even know she died, so he let her in- an important detail here is that she wore her veil so he couldn’t see her face, which was of course horrible. She drank his blood and floated back to her grave. The next night she arose again, and went to her home, she scratched upon the window shutter of her youngest brother (portrayed as around our age, 8-12 or so), crying she was so cold and thirsty, and he let her in, in his ignorance. Now, she didn’t want to hurt her little brother but the hunger rose in her. She fell upon him, but she was crying also as she didn’t want to do this- so the family broke in and drove her off/she fled. The details of was she physical or just a ghost is a little unclear.
The family went to the RC priest who laughed at them and their ignorant peasant folklore. So the family went to my family (the local lords), who sent out Cossacks to find the Orthodox Priest (this was very exciting as the Cossack had to ride in all direction, riding their horses to death as they needed to find the Father before the moon rose!). They found the holy man living as a hermit and then they (Cossacks, Voivodes, family, hermit and all) went to the suicides graveyard, and while the Cossacks held back the RC priest, they all dug up the maiden’s body- which when they pulled back her veil appeared flushed with life and with blood on her lips, and dirt under her long nails. Of course, this was just as the moon was rising! The Cossacks staked her and much fresh blood came out. Then the Orthodox hermit blessed her and they reburied her with all ceremony in the consecrated graveyard. The young Jesuit left that day, never to be seen again. The Holy Father returned to his rightful position as spiritual leader, they buried the cad in the appropriate manner and everyone lived happily ever after.
And the way she told it “And the maiden crept and crept up to the door, her eyes glowing under her veil, and scratched to be let in “I have more kisses for you, don’t you want my kiiiisssses”. So he looked thrugh the window and saw her there in her white wedding dress, her face covered by her veil. And since he had been to Vienna (said with a scornful note)and wasn’t scared of peasant tales, he let her in. And the last thing he felt was her cold as the grave hands on his neck, and the last thing he smelt was her breath like that of the charnel house, and the last thing he saw was her eyes, exposed at last from under her veil, glowing red in the dark like those of the hounds of hell…”
Weapons, big explosions, and fast cars (a mixture of classic high performance and modern exotics). There’s a thread around here which points out that action movies use the same plots as chick flicks, they just have lots of explosions in them.
That seems unlikely as the author of the books is supposed to be a devout Mormon.
Except-- and again, this is according to my friend that dragged me (this was her response to me saying that movie is like 2 hour blue balls)-- in one of the later books, they do in fact have sex, rather forcefully, leaving the girl all bruised up. Then, even later on, when she becomes a vampire, too, they bone all the time, because that’s what vampires, apparently, do.
I wish I could remember who it was here who posted “In my day, vampires didn’t go around being all angsty. They drank blood and they liked it!” because that really seems to fit.
Stoker’s Dracula goes out during the day and possesses many ‘super-powers’ (shape-shifting, controls the weather, etc).
Of course Dracula was only loosely based on the earlier vampire folk-lore, and I seriously doubt those stories were all self-consistent. So basically what Diosa said, its silly to pretend there’s some sort of ‘vampire cannon’ that authors should worry about straying from.
How many rounds per minute can a vampire cannon fire? Or did you mean “canon”? 
A cannon that shot vampires as projectiles would be pretty far from vampire canon. Also awesome.