Because thinking about how much you hate your coworkers on the weekend is productive.

Ever thought that maybe that person just wants to hear that you value them as an employee? No? That’s probably why they want to quit.

I tell my people “If you’re here to work, great. If you’re here to get Unconditional Love, come into my office… [blank, horrified stares] … and we’ll get on Craigslist, and buy you a dog.”

Here’s what you do. Go to HR and find out how to facilitate here request. The next time she comes into your office asking for you to talk her out of quitting, say you can’t do that and you’ve arranged all the paperwork then hand her a pen to sign her severance package.:smiley: No, really. If she is bitching to her boss like that what is she saying to her co-workers?


I’m always a fan of giving my employees what they want as much as I can.

But if there’s stuff like that lying around, isn’t there the danger that a baby could put something in its mouth and swallow it?

That’s another issue we watch for. We keep the little pieces off the ground and don’t have any toys that are small enough to choke on but we plan for the time a kid hides are marble in their pocket and somehow a baby gets it. It’s why everyone is CPR and first aid trained.

So our floor isn’t strewn with thumbtacks and pieces of glass, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Probably not.

I take the time to make sure every member of my staff knows that they’re valued, and specifically why. What I don’t do is buy into the idea that little snowflake is too delicate to handle a tough day.

I also don’t play the -we can’t run this place without you- game because we certainly can run it without anyone who really doesn’t want to be there.

If she wants to quit she should do so, if not she should get back to work and call her best friend or her mama to vent when she gets home.

moejoe seems to know how to separate those who need to be recognized from those with attention seeking behavior…I’ve I had my share of those over the years as well. Drama is not a skill set to flaunt at an employer unless he/she runs a theater.


Although, smart mouthed asshole that I am, I’ve had the same conversations with Managers who think the world revolves around them and the place will collapse without them. You don’t want to be here and do the job (ALL of the job), fine. Go home. The company will find a replacement in short order. In the mean time, it might be a good thing for the company in that they’ll learn which employees will keep doing the job anyway and which employees are worthless.

Our pool requires plastic swimpants on children who wear diapers. After hearing the “I don’t have them and I drove all the way down here!” excuse for a hundred times, we began selling them for a buck apiece. Now everyone’s happy.

My team at work is building language processing software, for English.

I am the only native English speaker on the team.

They frequently argue with me about grammar and about word definitions.

I have stopped arguing. You know what? I’m quitting in a few months. Screw them. One of them also uses his wife’s handicapped placard for his own convenience.

Dear Offspring: You are home, after college, and you have been looking for a job without success. I know, it’ll happen when it happens, the economy sucks, blah blah. We’re still glad to have you here. You are a wonderful kid. We’re glad to give you room and board and a little spending money until you find your way. However.

When I ask you to mow the lawn before your father gets home at 5, would you find the time to do so instead of saying, “I’ll do it at later, about 6:30 or 7”? Because your father gets home, sees the lawn unmowed, and after his long hard day he gets out the mower and does it himself, and there’s outrage and resentment on both sides. And you do this over and over and over. Would you just mow the damn lawn after you wake up around noon?

And when you take off in my car in the evening, and don’t come rolling in until 5 a.m. because you decided to hang with your night owl friend who sleeps all day and is up all night, and I don’t KNOW that you are, indeed, at her house, because you don’t call me, or answer your phone - I’m sorry, I want to know where you and my car are. Fine with me if you’re at G’s house, stay the night, stay the weekend, stay a month. Just let me know you are there and not upside down in a ditch. You are an adult, but you are living on my dime, under my roof, driving my car. When you have your own apartment and car, you won’t have to call me. But I’m a mom and would like to know, I’m a drag that way.

Please stop dropping hints, like anvils, about how much you love those clothes in the catalog, or the Thai Buffet you would like to eat at every night, or the $100 perfume you dream about. We’ve had a discussion. You get room, board, and basic living allowance. It’s offensive to hear you sigh and moan and wish and hope out loud. So knock it off and find a McJob if what we offer isn’t to your satisfaction.

We aren’t in the “get a f’ing job, deadbeat!” territory yet, but a little common courtesy might put off those painful words longer.

Enough time left over to turn it into the equivalent of Monty Python’s Hungarian Dictionary?

Yes! My teenage niece lives with us and constantly goes through magazines and shows me things she loves. Like that sweater or those shoes or that purse. She only ever comes grocery shopping with me when she’s “craving those chips” that she mentions as we walk past or “really wants to try this cool shampoo” her friends told her about.

I have no problem buying her things she needs (or even treats occasionally) but seriously, get a job for all the extras you want and mention over and over and over! And after sitting on the couch playing solitaire on your laptop all afternoon watching me clean the house…yeah, no treats for you!

Drives me bat shit.

Given that The Offspring has your car, being a mom shouldn’t even enter the equation. Actually, she apparently thinks that being her mom means she can borrow your car and not bother return it until she feels like it, without informing you of when that will be.

If my (hypothetical at the time) roomie borrowed my car to go for a drive and hadn’t brought it back or called within two hours, she would have to do some seriously convincing begging before being able to borrow it again.

My typing finger would fall off if I tried to list all the crap my co-workers (one in particular) do or don’t do. Particular co-worker was recently punished for certain infractions and the drama just won’t stop now.

Wow, you gotta be the coolest mom EVAR!! Will you adopt me?

Oh, and buy me one of those de-aging machines to roll me back about thirty years?

So tempted. So sorely tempted.

Um yeah, after she/he got out of jail because I called the cops about my stolen car.

Hey. Don’t want to be charged with Grand Theft Auto? Then bring my car back or answer your damn phone when I call you looking for it.