Holy ‘Boggy Creek’ Batman!
I’m loaded for bear, 30.06 on my shoulder. Bear mace in my hand. Noisily taking my stroll this afternoon. Rubber boots ‘clop-clopping’ in the wet leaf litter.
I walk up the levee and go down on the backside of the pond. No Grand-wreks just me and the Beagle Betsy.
Betsy has her nose on the ground her fat tail quivering at every smell. I heard twigs break on the woods side of me. Betsy stops and sniffs. And let’s out one woof. She whines a little. I say “let’s go Betsy” She walks back to me and I hook up the leash and drop it on the ground and step on it. Needn’t have worried she gets right behind my legs and leans.
I unshoulder the rifle and wait.
I smell nothing, I hear nothing. Betsy is still whining.
I click the safety off. The noise is deafening. Betsy wants to dig a hole and jump in it.
I waited far longer than I should have. I was looking at a steep hill I had to climb to get back to the houseplace. I knew there was no way I could out run anything. And I would’ve been dragging a obese beagle. With all my jangley bits I was carrying.
I was sweating bullets. Betsy was shivering behind me.
I’m deciding if I want to turn my back and start up the hill or go back toward the pond (a more circuitous route, but an easier one).
I look through the brush and holy crappola I see why Betsy is cowering, I see something big and black and moving toward the pond.
I automatically think, oh no! THE BEAR! No more procrastination. Click the safety back on. And turn up the hill and move. I just caught Betsys leash. She’s gone, pulling me up the hill. She wants no part of a big, black whatever. We get up the hill in record time.
I got to the barn. I told Mr.Wrekker of my experience. He takes the gun from me. Checks the clip. Jumps on the ATV and goes hunting.
Whew. I get to the house and Son-of-a-wrek is sitting on the deck. I tell him. He has his handgun under his arm. He runs to the barn, jumps on an ATV. And goes hunting.
The men folk are taking care of business :dubious:
They get home late for supper. I’m heating it up for them. They’re talking about the hunt. They never saw anything. Son says they saw broken branches, yada, yada, yada.
While they’re eating Son gets a text from a friend of his. He exclaims “Oh, shit!” Big Wrek sez “What?” He tells his Dad that there’s been a sighting. Dad asks, of what, the bear?
Oh no. No. No. Not the bear. There’s been a sighting of another critter. An infamous critter. They made a movie of said critter fairly close to where I live. What is this critter, you might ask?
Just guess. Just you try and guess.
BIGFOOT
Yep, Bigfoot.
Bigfoot, the most famous of crypto-critters. (Shut-up Loch ness-y, you’re overseas)
Bigfoot, the stinking, hairy, hideous ape-like thang.
In my brilliance I put 2 and 2 together. Confabulate a few facts. Remember Betsy’s cowering. And come up with the determination that I have just sighted my very own crypto-critter.
Yes, ol’Beck has just spotted: BIGFOOT.
Yep. I’m writing a book.
Hallmark movie channel: I’m waiting by the phone for your call about my movie deal. I suggest Reese Witherspoon to play me.
I’m sooooo glad I didn’t shoot at my Movie deal. 
(No matter the sighting Son heard about was a few miles away)
