Beck are you interested in a Wigs for Kids donation? A great cause for kids going through chemo and other difficult treatments.
I suggest Printing their braiding & cutting instructions and give to your hairdresser. I’m sure a donation will be greatly appreciated.
We want pictures of the new saucy hairstyle. 
You can take the photo from the back and hide your identity.
Do whatever is in your heart, Beck. About your hair, that is. Don’t you dare stop telling us about your bad, bad days and your rotten, rotten kitties (and stoopid pup!)
A friend tried to talk me into growing my hair long. No matter what reason she gave, I just smiled and said, “Nope.”
My hair is STRAIGHT. Heavy, thick, and straight. In the late Sixties, I was actually in fashion. I parted it in the middle, and wore it straight down. Other girls were IRONING their hair, and my hair was perfect!
Then waves and curls returned. My hair won’t hold a curl. All through junior high, I slept on curlers and invested in setting gel and hairspray. But by the end of the schoolday, it was straight!
I tried hot rollers. My hair laughed at them. I’d get a perm. My hair laughed harder.
I finally learned to cut it short, and perm every three to four months. Any longer, the weight of my hair would pull out the perm.
In my forties, I had major grey. I used the temp, shampoo-in stuff, and it looked pretty good.
Then the temp stuff didn’t suffice. I had to switch to the permanent coloring. I ended up too many times with a color that wasn’t on the box! And mind you, I was still getting perms!
At fifty, I said, “Enough!” I cut it all off, and went punk. I settled on one inch length, and I adore it! It sticks up, and COTU#2 giggles when she runs her hands over my head. I don’t color it, I don’t perm it. By cutting it so short, I allow the naturally straight hair to express itself freely!
And by letting all the grey show, I get senior discounts everywhere!
Moral of my story? It’s YOUR hair, it’s YOUR head! If you want it long, leave it alone! For GAWD’S sake, it certainly isn’t worth a panic attack to make somebody else happy!
~VOW
(COTU is a family saying which means “Center of the Universe.” It is used for the grandkids: COTU#1, COTU#2, COTU#3)
There are instructions all over the internet for cutting your own hair, as well. It sounds to me like you do want it shorter, but don’t want to deal with the hassle.
I’m with Nelliebly on this. Keep posting whatever you want. Your posts are a hoot, and I always look forward to them.
Something worth bearing in mind is that the oomph was provided by foundation garments and cheeseburgers. Remember how oomphy Julia Roberts looked in Erin Brokovitch? She said “it took a village” to make that happen, and Jayne Mansfield, America’s queen of oomph in the '60s, weighed a buck-ninety if she weighed an ounce.
I died of laughter. I suspect that the “merkin” reference went over a few heads. 
For those unfamiliar with the term (spoilered because it is slightly NSFW):
“false hair for the female pudenda”
snorting
And here I was thinking “Merkin” was from President LBJ, and his “Mah fellow Merkins…”
more snorting
cleaning up snot
~VOW
Don’t encourage him.
Donating hair to sick kids is a very worthy cause. Wigs can do so much for their self esteem and give them hope for a better future after cancer.
I can’t help myself.
And, in response to earlier comments – I, too, enjoy reading your posts.
I was told the longer the donation is the better it is. I can lose upwards of 12 inches if I want.
Really guys, my girls have been on me for years to cut my hair. I’ve been through every question with them. I’ve finally understand they just want me to have an easier time with hair management. They know how I avoid all stressful situations. Simply that I don’t do anything about it for the wrong reasons. They’re right 100%. Trust me, I will have it cut for me, not them. If it makes them happy, that’s a plus.
Mr.Wrekker surprised me this morning. He said, straight up, “Don’t cut it for them, you do what you want”, I was shocked he even noticed or had an opinion.
I will, most likely have 12 inches cut off & I’ll live through it.
I hate getting my hair cut. I never like how I look and I am hopeless at styling it. for 20+ years I have had it long and in a pony or bun or braid. cant have a bad hair day if it always looks exactly the same. Straight, light brown with some grey mixed in. THEN! I fell and broke my shoulder last year, couldn’t comb it, barely could wash it certainly couldn’t pull it off my face. Cut it all off. Told them I wanted a crew cut so I could wash it with a washcloth. My hair grows straight up anyway so it kinda punk. It fortunately doesn’t grow as fast as it used to so I only have to go about every other month and get it cut.
Check before you donate. Locks won’t take greying hair–not sure what percentage of grey is the cutoff. 
It IS your hair. Most hair develops split ends and can get a little scruffy at the ends if it’s not trimmed now and then, but heck, if that’s not you, or if you don’t care about that stuff, then don’t go.
Here’s an idea: see if a stylist would make a house call. Normally they won’t, but if you explain your phobia, say it just needs a straight-up trim, and offer to pay for their extra time to get out there, someone might do it. I wouldn’t try to do it myself, as it’s pretty tough to cut your own hair when it’s that long.
Just curious: How long does it take to dry?
Best of luck whatever you end up doing, Beckdawrek. I envy you having thick hair - mine is thin and looks very sad when long. It ends up being fairly long most of the time anyway - not as long as yours, but past my shoulders - because I loathe getting my hair cut. It is so boring and pointless to sit there, and the stylist always takes FOREVER. I get … antsy.
However, on those once-a-year or so occasions that I force myself to get it cut, I’m always happy afterward because it is so much easier to take care of - fewer snarls, dries more quickly. And in my case, short hair looks better because it doesn’t appear quite so limp and stringy. (Did I mention I’m the original greaseball? Even at 60 I have the pores of a teenager. I tried for a year not to wash my hair every day, and finally gave up - some people may be able to train their scalps to cut back on oil production by infrequent washing, but my scalp has a mind of its own, so to speak.)
If you do get your hair cut, I hope you enjoy the results.
I’ve had an email from the locks of love people. I sent pictures. They want my hair. The grey is, of course, at the top. They recommend 14 or 15 inches and sent me the braiding process and a mailing label. Nice folks.
When I wash it I have to plan for a whole day. It takes several hours to dry even supplemented by a hair dryer. I’ve never successfully dried it completely with a dryer. I’ve burned up dozens of hairdryers. I like to sit on the deck and brush and dry it in the summer sun. That goes a little faster.
Right at the moment it keeps tangling and hanging up in my new glucose monitor. So I’ve had a ponytail for a week. Shorter hair would eliminate that problem. I hope.
I am gonna have it cut, for real.
At that length, you can easily do it yourself. I did something similar to this for years, because every time I went to a hair salon they nodded and smiled and then took off three times the amount that I had requested they cut off. I totally understand your hesitancy.
Be sure to leave it long enough that it will stay behind your shoulder if you flick it back. Medium length, where it falls in your face every time you bend down, nearly drove me insane.Now I keep it super pixie short, and I love it. All told, with washing, conditioning, and getting it dry, I used to average about 1 hour per day on my hair. Do the math, that come out to 2 weeks every year, wasted on hair maintenance! Never again. I can’t afford a haircut right now, and it’s approaching medium length, and driving me absolutely nuts. I can’t wait to crop it again.
I measured fifteen inches from the bottom and it will put me in the middle of my shoulder blades. That’s not for-sure. It’s kinda hard to measure your own hair. When i get some help we will remeasure.
True about salon workers not listening to you. This lady is pretty good. She’s always been extra helpful to the lil’wrekker and her many many concerns about her hair. She got us thru her teen years without any meltdowns and tears. At the moment the lil’wrekkers hair is pink except for about 4 inches on the top. She’s growing the color out and the length so she can donate. Her hair is very long too. She really wants a short cut/style.
DON’T cut your own hair! Just tell the woman what your plans for it are and if she screws it up it’s her fault. Do I understand that you braid it then cut it? It’ll leave raggedy-ass ends and you’ll still need to pay someone to clean them up.
Then again, when I cut my own hair I use the dog clippers. They’re by Wahl and real similar to the ones they sell for people, except twenty bucks more cuz nothing’s too good for my doggies.
Instructions say to have clean hair and rubber band it tightly right below where the cut is to be made. Braid it from the band and add a band at the bottom. After the cut is cleanly away then your hair stylist can fix the ends of your hair. You put the braid in a plastic bag and then in a padded mailer. And send it off. Easy peasy.