I’ve had my new car exactly one week. Now, I didn’t want this new car. Mr.Wrekker took it upon himself to purchase it. Well, hell, Thank you very much. What are you gonna do? Refuse such a thing? Nope. I’m stuck with it. It’s a god-awful burnt orange 2018 Ford Escape. Too many fancy bells and whistles that I’ll never use. Back up camera pretty cool, though. The key fob is touchy as hell, I’ve alarmed myself everytime I go near it pointing the thing. God, Grant me…erm…something.
Here’s the thing, I decide to go to town and do some general shopping. Town is 35mikes away. I jump in the orange-menace and take off. Of course I set the alarm off when I get out at Walmart. I set the damn thing off again walking toward it and it still didn’t unlock the hatch. Obviously I’ve got to turn that function on, some how. I’m muttering curse words going to a grocery store I frequent. I get out, alarm goes off. WTH, why can’t I work this thing. I hang my head and go in the store and get what I came for. Aha! I got in with no alarm. What did I do? Oh, the car was unlocked the whole time I was in the store. Jesus H.Christ. I check my valuables, everythings cool. One more stop. The giant Liquor Emporium. Gotta get Mr.Wrekkers JD and beer. Get out of the car. I’m in a bad location, the door needs to be locked. I stare at the fob, I’m gonna work this thing or just give up. Aaaccckk! Alarm goes off. I get it stopped before someone shoots me. These rednecks don’t like alarms. Whew. Get my shit and get outta there.
I’m so mad. I am gonna give Mr.Wrekker a piece of my mind if I ever get outta this town and get home. Finally, I’m on the state road to my county road. Possibly the curviest road in So.Arkansas. I’m fuming, going too fast, maybe. I look ahead and catch sight of movement. It’s a deer. It hops across the rode, good deal. Oh shit! The rest of the family pops up on the road, as if by magic. I slammed the brakes. Gotta loved those new brakes. Stopped on a dime. Deer were gone. Missed them by feet. I pulled to the shoulder to breath. I’m feeling more hospitable towards Mr.Wrekker and my new brakes. Opened the car door and stepped out. Shut the door, narrow shoulder. Fucking. Alarm. Goes. Off.
I’m gonna go home and go to bed.
Maybe when you deliver the bottle of Jack, it won’t be exactly…full.
There’s gOT to be a way to disable the alarm. And besides, what good do they do? Does anyone hear one and say “Omigod, call the cops! Gang members stealing a car somewhere in the parking lot! I’ll try to head them off with my cart!” No, they roll their eyes and think “SOMEone got a new car…”
My wife’s car is full of crap that we don’t understand. My tiny totally-manual car (like stick shift, window cranks and everything) got smooshed* by a runaway 18-Wheeler. But I purposely bought a 20 yr old beater, specifically to avoid Extraneous Belles Ünd Vistles.
*Yes, I’m lucky to be here (so I’m using my miraculous extension of life to… read MPSIMS threads?)
ETA: You’re not bad, idiot car manufacturers and dealers are bad.
My nearest store is 12 mikes away. But I only know one of them.
My car has a dumb ridiculous function where if you lock it with the button and unlock it with the key, the alarm goes off. So since the battery is going on the button, we just have to remember to always lock it with the key, just in case. I have no idea who thought up that insane “feature”. You have* the key to the car that fits in the lock*? Obviously a dirty car thief! Honk their head off!
Which Mike?
You make me laugh.
Actually an old friend I went to high-school with. He lives about half way to the store, so about 6 mikes away.
I feel your pain Beck. My old Hyundai Santa Fe had the most sensitive alarm/panic button ever. I’d have to push the lock or unlock button three or four times to get them to work, but I could set the alarm off just by having the key fob in my pocket. :mad:
How can you live with yourself!
Baddest Beck in the whole damned town?
Perhaps these links, to info from the Ford website, might be useful:
http://www.fordservicecontent.com/Ford_Content/Catalog/owner_information/2018-Ford-Escape-Owners-Manual-version-4a_OM_EN-US_07_2018.pdf. (Alarm covered on page 70)
^ Wait a second, that 2nd link is a… is a… OWNER’S MANUAL!!
::forks the Evil Eye at the link::
Baddest Beck in the whole damn wreck.
Badder than a Ford Escape
Meaner than an ape named Ape.
Try locking the car by hitting the lock button twice. That does out on my mom’s 2017 Escape.
I will try that. I have the owners manual right here beside me. I was looking online for a wiring schematic to maybe find the right fuse to pull. But I think there’s no just ‘one’ fuse. It may well keep something else from ‘dinging’ or ‘blinking’.
Gotta love that video.
Use the key in the fob to dismantle the door handle to then use the key in the fob to open the door.
Store the fob at the sump of the drink holder where the spills from the drink pool.
Then there’s the complicated part involving starting the car from outside and then entering it from the trunk. I guess that would be useful for body removal of one’s own body.
You see what I mean. I’m scared to touch the damn thing now. One false move, the car will never run again. Jeez. First car I drove as my own was X-years old VW bug. It didn’t even have a working lock. Sometimes the door wouldn’t even unlatch. I would have to crawl in the moon roof. The truck latch wouldn’t hold so I had a bungee strap hooking it shut. Those were the good old days. I could go for miles on $2 worth of gas.
I never lock car doors. Nothing in there is worth more than the window that will be broken or the convertible top that will be destroyed to get to it.
I always lock the car doors. Car prowlings are common here, and while there’s nothing terribly valuable, money-wise, in my car (maybe a few CDs, Queen’s Greatest Hits, The Best of Styx, and suchlike); I would hate to lose Bullwinkle.
Bullwinkle is a stuffed toy moose, and he’s ridden with me for many years, in a variety of vehicles. He’s been to nine Canadian provinces and eight US states, and somebody breaking in and throwing him away, just for S&G, would bother me more than the loss of Queen’s Greatest Hits. So, I always lock my car doors.