- Because that’s the natural order of things. We’re not all in the military. When it’s four o’clock in the afternoon, it’s goddam four o’clock PM. If it was 1600 hours, I’d have to have my uniform immaculately pressed and be standing at attention. But since I’m sitting around in my underwear or my dressing gown, it’s four o’clock PM. End of discussion.
- Because everybody and their dog has credit cards now.
- They’re not.
- Because you’re a nice person, and need creatures to love.
- Yes.
- Because there are so many women.
- Yeah, but you live in the “South”, where there’s (normally) no risk that it’s gonna snow.
- Yes, some engines can create more than 100% of their nominal rated power.
- It’s the best part of Oreos.
- Unless you’re producing an exoergic proton-proton nuclear fusion reaction, or are listed in movie credits ahead of the movie title itself, no, you are not a star. But we love you anyway.
- No, you might take the sunglasses off at some point.
- I freely admit that on some occasions, due to sheer laziness, I have been known to wear both socks and sandals at the same time. It’s a horror, but we’re not all perfect. You are forgiven.
- Yes. Do not tempt the fates. Always remember Apollo 13.
- Because, yes, they’re bastards.
- Yes, you get to laze around and NOT feel guilty about it.
- The number we have now is more than enough.
- You’re wrong.
- Because we tend to buy stuff that is “good” for us, but we tend to eat stuff that we “like”.
- You are reconstituting the bread so that it has some semblance of being freshly baked. It’s a commendable practice.
- Go to a grossly overpriced boutique grocery that I know of, and demand “European style bologna” at their deli counter. It’s really quite wonderful. Also their nitrate-free smoked turkey breast, thinly shaved.
Re 1, they exist.
It’s a hell of a lot of numbers to read, though. Here in Denmark we go by military time. The time is at the moment 16:50, but our normal analog clocks have only 12 hours.
What’s a fingertip towel?
I was picturing five 1" squares of terry cloth arranged so you could dry only the tips of your fingers…
- Why do normal clocks stop at 12?
Wouldn’t 24 be better?
Sundials, I suspect.
Or maybe they didn’t want to make sand clocks that large.
- Why don’t they have layaway in stores anymore?
Because they make more money off the credit cards. Or at least the credit card companies do.
Alternatively, possibly for the same reason nobody washes your windshield for you at the gas station. Extra labor.
- Why are fingertip towels necessary?
So they can sell fingertip towels.
- Why do I have so many pets? Pet envy?
Because the purpose of humans in the world is to take care of the cats. And sometimes the dogs, horses, etc.
- Is rock ‘n’ roll really here to stay?
Probably not past the heat death or nova of the sun.
- Why are there so many nail salons?
I have no idea. I don’t want strangers messing with my hands, it tickles.
- I wear white after labor day. So screw you.
I wear whatever color I feel like before or after Labor Day. But usually not white, because I always get stains on it.
- The big One: is there a higher power?
Define “higher”. Then define “power”.
- @VOW, I hate the white stuff in Oreos too. What is that? Lard, perhaps?
Sure tasted like it, last time I had Oreos, which is probably why that was a while ago.
- I’m floating around the universe too, am I a star? Yes, yes I am.
Are you sure you’re not just seeing stars?
- I use eyeliner to accentuate my eyes then I wear sunglasses. Dumb?
I dunno. I used to try to wear eyeliner, but people kept asking me where I got the tinted glasses. (It was around 1970.)
- I wear socks with my Crocs. The lil’wrekker sighs. It’s not a crime, yanno?
Wear purple socks and purple Crocs and hand her the poem.
- Well this is bad luck. I hate the #13.
I have declared that 13 is Good Luck for me.
- Why won’t Dish network send me that gift card for switching services? Bastards!
The small print said ‘only for the first 16 1/2 people who apply for this offer. And only if they do it on a Tuesday. And only if they can prove that.’
- I never really worked. Will retirement change my life?
You’re kidding. You’ve been working your butt off all your life. Reads to me like you still are, every day you’re strong enough to stand up.
- How many Star-treks is enough?
One.
- But…I want more Star-treks.
Lots more people seem to agree with you than with me.
- Why do leftovers pile up in my fridge? Shouldn’t we just throw them away in the first place?
It’s forbidden to throw away leftovers before they’re green. Unless they’re greens, in which case you have to wait until they’re brown.
Plus which, sometimes I do eat them. Don’t you?
- When you make toast aren’t you recooking an already cooked item? Seems redundant.
Redundancy is the spice of life. Though the spice of toast is usually cinnamon.
- What is bologna? NM. I don’t wanna know.
You’re right about that one.
Me too!
I think the answer to 6 is that they invented those gel nail thingies. Apparently they last for a few weeks.
- Why do normal clocks stop at 12? Someone said earlier because of the sundial and it is true. Here’s some trivia for everyone. In George Orwell’s 1984 novel it said: (I bolded for emphasis)
“On a cold bright day in April and “the clocks” we’re striking 13.”
"The thirteenth stroke here doesn’t refer to military time but to an old saying. References to a thirteenth stroke of the clock indicate that some event or discovery calls into question everything previously believed. Put another way, the thirteenth stroke of the clock calls into question not only the credibility of itself but of the previous twelve.
But notice in this opening line that it isn’t just one clock malfunctioning, but the clocks. Presumably all of them. In this world, the clocks striking thirteen is not an aberration, but a normal way of life.
In this way, Orwell subtly alerts the reader that statements of truth in this fictional society should be called into question."
- Why don’t they have layaway in stores anymore?
The Walmart in Lampasas Texas does, but only at Christmas and not every Christmas.Side note: Somebody pays off all the layaways for kids and it’s still is a mystery who does this.
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Why are fingertip towels necessary?
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Why do I have so many pets? Because your an animal lover and have a kind heart, plus it’s hard to say no when you live in the country.
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Is rock ‘n’ roll really here to stay? I don’t know. My daughter still plays the music from the seventies and eighties that me and her dad listened too. I think Pink Floyd, Stevie Ray Vaughn, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, CCR, Led Zepplin, Steve Miller Band off the top of my head I seriously doubt they will just disappear.
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Why are there so many nail salons?
Tippi Hedren the movie star is why 40 years ago:
http://www.takepart.com/article/2015/05/05/tippi-hedren-vietnamese-refugees-nail-industry
- I wear white after labor day. So screw you.
I do too…
For those who ask; fingertip towels are small decorative towels that fancy people who use demitasse cups and serve petit fours for tea, have in their linen pressI don’t even know what that is
I have a few from the dead Aunt’s household stuff. I predict they’ll make their way outdoors for wiping dipsticks(not me, actual motor dipsticks)
Sooo, you make all wiping of you happen indoors? If someone is a dipstick they can still wipe you down but they have to do it indoors?
When I was visiting NYC in the summer of 1986 my best friend and her Italian husband took me to their favorite Chinese restaurant. Her husband proposed to her on bended knee at Nom Wah Tea Parlor in Chinatown.
It just so happened the garbage strike was going on, and the Statute Of Liberty was under construction. Looking back the Peking Duck and going all the way to the top of the Twin Towers were the top two highlights of many during my month long vacation. My sincere apologies for off topic the side trip…
After dinner was served the waiter brought us bowls of very warm water and rolled small cloth towels to cleanse our hands. I was only 24 and this was a first. Are those considered finger towels?
I’m going to include a link to this restaurant because I’ve yet to have Peking Duck as good as this. The only reason I remember the name is the book of matches which I needed for the ice storm. I googled it and had no idea of the history of Nom Wah Tea Parlor. If you read the wikiapedia article it has even more history.
By the way the Chrysanthemum tea was to die for! When you visit NYC be sure and order the Peking Duck in advance. It was either 24 or 48 hours advance notice.
Nom Wah Tea Parlor is one of 23 city restaurants to be awarded the Legacy Award by the Chinese Restaurant Association.
Nom Wah Tea Parlor first opened at 13–15 Doyers Street in 1920. Movies and TV shows have been shot at Nom Wah Tea Parlor. A few include Reversal of Fortune, Premium Rush, All Good Things, and Law and Order according to:
#21…why is that one china pattern found in every Goodwill store, known to mankind? You know the one with pink flowers and oversized green stuff. It’s tacky and pretty all at the same time.
This made me laugh. You are quite right, of course, but you don’t need to be in the military to use the 24-hour clock. I well remember my days trucking, leaving the depot at 1900, getting to my destination at 0100, and arriving back at 0700 the next day. It just made things easier, in that business, to use the 24-hour clock.
Like I said, you’re right; and now, I can sound professional on the phone, appear professional on Zoom, and wear my sweatpants both times, even if it is 1600 hours (or, 4:00 PM, if you prefer).
Thanks. I imagine a linen press is like a trouser press, but much bigger and for sheets.
That’s really interesting. I’ve read 1984, but I didn’t know that line had an extra meaning. Now I wonder what else I’ve missed.
I believe it is the opening line of his dystopian novella. I have watched 2 interviews recently and he was a very interesting person. He was not full if himself either. If I remember correctly 1984 was written when he was very young. If you get a chance be sure and watch them. Check Tubi or Pluto and very possibly YouTube might have them.
Desert Rose? The china of my mother and grandmother? Tacky? How dare you?!
Yes. That’s the one.
A linen press is a totally different animal to a trouser press, although the Romans had a device for flattening household linen very similar to a wine press. At its most basic, it’s a cupboard to keep sheets in. There are some very fancy ones around though.
I might be drunk, but I don’t understand a word of this. Nine, narrow.
how does he know these things?
A linen cupboard is boring. I want the giant wine press thingy. Togas must be a lot easier to iron, though. No seams, no shaping, just a flat piece of fabric. Should we go back to Roman style clothes?