Beckdawrek thinks bad bad bad weird things

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1
  1. Why do normal clocks stop at 12?
    Wouldn’t 24 be better?
  2. Why don’t they have layaway in stores anymore?
  3. Why are fingertip towels necessary?
  4. Why do I have so many pets? Pet envy?
  5. Is rock ‘n’ roll really here to stay?
  6. Why are there so many nail salons?
  7. I wear white after labor day. So screw you.
  8. The big One: is there a higher power? not counting Cecil
  9. @VOW, I hate the white stuff in Oreos too. What is that? Lard, perhaps?
  10. I’m floating around the universe too, am I a star? Yes, yes I am.
  11. I use eyeliner to accentuate my eyes then I wear sunglasses. Dumb?
  12. I wear socks with my Crocs. The lil’wrekker sighs. It’s not a crime, yanno?
  13. Well this is bad luck. I hate the #13.
  14. Why won’t Dish network send me that gift card for switching services? Bastards!
  15. I never really worked. Will retirement change my life?
  16. How many Star-treks is enough?
  17. But…I want more Star-treks.
  18. Why do leftovers pile up in my fridge? Shouldn’t we just throw them away in the first place?
  19. When you make toast aren’t you recooking an already cooked item? Seems redundant.
  20. What is bologna? NM. I don’t wanna know.
2

Where do butterflies go when it rains?
Who goes around and tucks in the trains?
What makes a teddy bear like to sleep?
Why do we all make promises that we can’t keep?

– Lobo, “A Simple Man.”

3

@Spoons , you slay me. There’s always a song.

4

There always is, Beck. To wit:

Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showin’ you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?

– Diana Ross, “Theme from Mahogany.”

5

  1. The military thinks so.

  2. Because Walmart. (which still has it)

  3. I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure out why they call them fingers, if ya never see 'em fing.

  4. Animals know you are a sucker. Signed, a fellow sucker.

  5. Nope, according to Don McClean , it died on February 3, 1959

  6. Because 20 dollar pedicures.

  7. Same.

8.Yes.

  1. It used to be. Seriously. They had lard in them. The cookie part did, anyway. They use vegetable shortening now. Try the flavored Oreos, though. The caramel and coconut ones are boss.

  2. Don’t you remember, you told me you loved me, baby?
    You said you’d be coming back this way again, baby
    Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby
    I love you, I really do

11.Not if it’s sunny.

  1. I wear socks with my Birkenstocks. We wear white after Labor day , we’re going to fashion heck anyway.

  2. triskaidekaphobia it’s a thing.

  3. Thanks for calling Dish network , we certainly apologize for the inconvenience, This has been escalated to our offline support team. You can expect a response within 7-10 business days.

  4. Depends What are you retiring from?

  5. Hmmmm. How many Rocky movies were there?

  6. I want GOOD ones.

  7. Mom guilt… we’re supposed to make a casserole out of them.

  8. Yes, but it’s TOAST. that’s a whole thing of and by itself.

  9. It’s made out of eyeballs and buttho… um… I’m not sure.

There ya go, my bad bad bad friend, Asked and answered.

6

Number 19 is even stranger when they order, “Burnt’ toast.” I don’t want to sidetrack the thread, so I’ll refrain from telling the story. :flushed:

7

RE: #18- Why throw them out? I’m sure Bayliss would love to eat them.

8

On Sunday my gf wakes up and puts on makeup, knowing we won’t be leaving the house. I’m the only person that will see her.

9

I never like to throw away good food. So I keep it in my fridge until it’s rotten, then I throw it away.

10

Oh, I appreciate it. I feel enlightened.
Fighting ignorance, indeed.

Why do I still feel like one of the ‘dipsticks’?

11

Please don’t just throw the food away. The Fouke monster needs to eat too.

12

One of the many reasons I like both of you.

But are they fun socks that make your kids embarrassed to be seen with you? That’s important. With socks it is important to go wild or go home.

13

I’ve heard rumors…

And the Crocs are worse! tie dye crocs - Bing images

14

Hey. There’s my Crocs.
Bayliss put a hole in one. The lefty. When I walk it makes an unfortunate sound that appears like I’m flatulent.
Good grief

15

I may need aroma therapy or something.
Hmmm? Where to find that in the yellow pages?
Oh right, that ain’t a thang no more.

I can’t win for losing!

16

When I play golf on a hot day, I wear a pair of sandals. The insole is rubber. My playing partners love making fun of my “foot farts” as I walk onto the green to putt.

17

  1. Neither my husband nor I liked those. However, the peanut butter pie Oreos are like crack for me.

  2. And I feel obligated to post here. I was born on Friday the 13th.

As long as we have oil, dipsticks are useful. So what’s wrong with having a critical function in life?

18

Step One is admitting … Oh, never mind.

19

Then you should be extremely flattered! I hope you are expressing your gratitude in an appropriate manner. :face_with_monocle:

20

Oh, I realize!! :heart: