Little Caesar’s dates its breadsticks. Rather, its Crazy Bread. But it’s not terribly crazy, because it’s just bread, really. With some crumbly stuff. At least they’re half-honest, though… they coulda called it Crazy Titanium. I bet they’d sell more if they got the occasional dumbass that actually thought it’d be titanium, and they wouldn’t complain because they wouldn’t want to admit to being so stupid, and plus, they’d have titanium. Just having titanium would make me feel macho.
But no, they date their bread… Crazy… bread… sticks. Not, like, “Sell By” or anything. One of the employees just writes the date on the back. This frightens me. This tells me that the employees are so airheaded that they can’t actually keep track of WHEN a particular bag of Crazy Bread was put down. They can’t keep track, out of the corner of their eye, “Oh, there’s that pack of Crazy Bread that’s been sitting there since last week.” No, they need to date it.
And it doesn’t really inspire customer confidence. I want a “Sell By” date. In fact, I think there should be two dates, one for the “Sell By” thing, and the other for “You Really Really Shouldn’t Eat This After” date. Because there’s always a gray area. It’s like a warranty… they can’t always cover your item, but there’s a period of time after it expires before it actually goes bad, in most cases. That would inspire customer confidence.
Come to think about it, they don’t really inspire customer confidence by calling it Crazy Bread. Once you start to think about it, it starts to sound like it’s bread… that makes you crazy. Unless you’re a surfer or skateboarder or artist or something, “crazy” is a bad thing. Why on Earth would they want people to think they’ll be driven to hysterics upon munching some breadsticks?
They really should revamp their marketing strategy. Let’s not mention the fact that they’re obviously appealing to - some might say “taking advantage of” - stoners, what with their five dollar large pizza. Now come on. Five dollars for a pizza. That MUST be anti-competitive. Don’t we live in a society where companies have to sell their products at approximately equal values? Kinda ruins the whole game for everyone.
Greedy bastards. Fuck you, Little Caesar’s.