Seriously, you're going to eat that? Ugh.

Tell me about the food/dish you love, that no living soul should ever know or see you eat.

I’ll start, I suppose. After a particularly shitty day…

On a toasted flat bread/pita, layer in order of appearance:
Generous smear of mayo
Freshly ground black pepper
Cold cuts (preferably black forest ham), microwaved till slightly curled around edges
American cheese
Sliced tomatoes
More ground black pepper
A three egg plain omlette
Sliced dill pickles
Romaine lettuce

Time and assemble while hot things are still hot.

Cut in half. Roll up sleeves. Grab 4 paper towels.

Devour over large tray in front of TV and chase down with a coke.

Thread title needs work.

Try: You gonna finish that?

I once put Velveeta on a very, very cheap cardboard-quality frozen pizza. It was about as good as it sounds.

I like sardines mashed with plain yellow mustard on saltines. Although I learned this from my mother, I try not to subject anyone else to the sight (an smell) of me eating it.

Needs more black pepper. And fresh garlic.

cheese on banana bread. I prefer sliced American but mild cheddar works as well. I learned this from my mother who enjoys the occasional strawberry jam and cheddar sandwich. (I don’t eat that.)

If you ever watch Bizarre Foods, you’ll be reassured that whatever you are eating, it can’t possibly be as gross as you think it is.

I’m a pretty adventurous eater…I’ve had raw everything, foie gras, sweetbreads, pickled deer’s heart, etc but man, some of the stuff that Andrew Zimmern eats, especially the rotten food…blech, no thanks!

Oh, it’s not a competition. :slight_smile: I’m pretty sure I’m not going to out-gross anyone, especially not an professional human garburator like Andrew Zimmern.

My daughter eats peanut butter on a hot dog. I still love her, though.

OK, that’s just gross.

:smiley:

My wife thought it was weird that I occasionally eat peanut butter and bologna sandwiches. Until she tried one.

Then she knew it was weird?
:smiley:

PB, Miracle Whip, Banana and American cheese sandwiches… I used to eat those all the time.

My gentile friends cannot get over gefilte fish, no matter how much I tell them that the “kind of like cat food” flavor is all part of its charm!

And easily dispatched by tons of extra hot horseradish.

(Bolding mine)

Wait a minute . . . Now I’m confused. :smiley:

When I’m in the right mood (read: starving), peanut butter on a spoon is a good quick fix. But when I mentioned it to a friend, she started laughing because she thought I was joking - it seemed the same as eating butter or mayonnaise on a spoon to her. Also, a favorite carrot dip of mine is mayo mixed with ketchup - my mom calls it “Russian sauce” but everyone else thinks I’m insane.

Oh, and I know people who swear by ketchup on pizza. It’s not so much that it’s disgusting, just a bit weird (another person will carefully scrape off all the cheese on pizza - she’s not allergic, and likes cheese, but not on pizza).

Could be worse…
coughketchupcough

Mayo+ketchup? Yup. Used to make that a lot as a kid.

PB on a spoon? Yup. PB is not a condiment like mayo. It’s more akin to eating a piece of cheese.

PB on a spoon followed by a secondary (double) dip in the nutella. This contaminates both jars but I paid for them nd it doesn’t bother me.

Also… potato chips dipped directly in the Hellman’s jar, or the blue cheese dressing.
It’s called the munchies :smiley:

Hey I don’t think you’re insane either, regarding the mayonnaise and ketchup. We used to make it all the time when I was growing up; it’s similar to French dressing. Plus I eat mayo and ketchup on hamburgers all the time.

When I was in my 20s I used to mash butter and flour and sugar together to create a makeshift cookie dough when I was craving that and couldn’t be bothered to make actual cookies. Mmmm.