Before you can be involved in a loving relationship with someone, you have to accept that you are at least a halfway decent, lovable person. If you really believe you’re awful, then by far the best thing you could do for someone you really love is stay away.
I do think, though, that it’s possible to have a lot of very negative feelings about yourself but still realize, intellectually, that those feelings probably aren’t accurate and that you should be trying to change the way you think. Being consistently loved by someone else WOULD tend to be helpful for that.
Anyway, I agree with Qadgop, possibly because he had the chance to mold my developing brain for 18 years. Being an independent person with interests and desires and goals totally unrelated to a partner both before and during a relationship is vital. If nothing else, it keeps you from being horribly boring.
Elfbabe, who sometimes starts missing her boyfriend while he’s in the SHOWER, but that’s not related at all, dammit.