begging for a beating? Bring it on, you expat wanker (off-board)

A little background:
I am a member of The SCA in South Africa. The current SCA group, or Shire, covers the whole country, but there are two very separated groups in Cape Town and Johannesburg. So the Cape Town bunch proposed that we split the group into two shires, North and South. This met with severe resistance from the Johannesburgers, whose main fear, as far as I can tell, was that they would then drop below the required number of members to maintain shire status (cry me a fucking river if you can’t get your half-arsed members to pay up, BTW).

Debates on our local listserv got increasingly heated. I used all my SDMB skills to inject some reason into the debate (ably assisted by the local Freethinker SCA member), but couldn’t help myself, and also injected some SDMB-styley sarcasm. My bad. Things went from bad, to worse, to the point where one (expatriate Brit, one year in the Society and already pushing his weight around) wanker suggested settling the whole thing with a war, and specificaly stated:

Never mind that such a challenge goes against everything the SCA is about (not fighting in anger etc)
Never mind that I could dance rings around the fat, beer-sozzled, near-geriatric Johnny-Come-Lately
Never mind that it does the debate about splitting no good.
I just wanted to vent, and say:
Look, Alric, you lost the debate - take it like a man, not like the slimey arsecreeper you are. Nobody’s impressed down here in Cape Town - and BTW, your rendition of “She Moves Through the Fair” sounded like a sinusitus-afflicted cat being sick on a pile of bagpipes, you atonal wretch.
Wheew, now I feel better, but if anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with being told I deserve a beating, I’ll be glad to hear them


…beating, that’s what I was begging for
(Preview is my friend)

So… uh… do you guys, like, wear tights?

Dude, that’s so gay!

:: d&r ::

Maybe you two should have it out. I don’t know anything about SCA, but I assume that you have some sort of tournament fight. Take him up on his offer and give him the comeuppance he so richly deserves.


I’m sorry. I thought this was the rape porn thread.

:: backs out to find a beating somewhere else::

They don’t wear tights!

They wear the required uniform.

[sub]I’m just feeling very Emilio tonight[/sub]

How big a deal is it if you don’t get to be a shire anymore? What do you become?

A suburb.

Well, it’s about a nine hour drive from your general area to this event, where I’ll be tomorrow night.

Ohhhhhh, joking. I see.

Never mind.

Just a couple of members of the society, with no structure and no way to hold official events without another shire’s sponsorship.

I do so wear tights - and from the number of women who complement my legs, I don’t feel very gay - but that could be because no man has yet. And if one does, I’ll take it in the spirit that it was intended.

It takes a Real Man ™ to wear a codpiece that isn’t stuffed - and Real Men ™ don’t sweat being called gay, as it means people take it you have taste, style, dancing feet…all the stereotypes, you know?


I wear tights too (at the gym, hiking and inline skating). You’re right, there’s nothing like being complemented on your shapely legs. And who the complementer is doesn’t matter. I’ll accept adoring fans of any gender.

A codpiece, however, is too frightening a thing to contemplate.