No one is a killer like me.
You have to ask me questions and I will answer you.
Starting with the next post…
(I am waiting)
Why are you such an effective killer?
“Oh, No! There goes The Straight Dope
Go, Go Threadkilla!”
I concur.
I don’t. 
ETA – better add the smiley, in case you don’t hear my tone of voice or see my face.
I think I am boring. ( but lovable)
I warned you.
But can you make a decent pecan pie?
It’s probably better than going into an active thread, posting a very thoughtful reply to the OP, and then the thread just goes on with no one responding or commenting on your reply.
Oh, honey pie is my expertise.
Pecan
Coconut
Chocolate
Apple
Peach
Cobblers (many )
Custard.
Key lime
Lemon,
Cherry Cheese
Frozen pudding pie,
Chicken pot pie
Cheeseburger pie
Chess
Name it, I can make it.
My friends,
We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored thread. But it should be noted that this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new thread; a thread that our beloved comrade gave its life to protect and nourish. It did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate its profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of this thread, I can only say this: of all the threads I have encountered in my travels, this was the most…thready.
Is somebody strangling cats?
Minnie Driver, that’s who.
Go ahead, kill me now.
Not without a link to your newsletter.
You may well be my new favourite Doper. Sorry Burpo!
No argument from me; pie is pie. Chocolate, please! Or coconut.
I think pie should be in the bill of rights for every man, woman or child.
Wait… I take that back, kids don’t need pie.
Bill of rights? What about Tom of rights, Jack or rights or Steve of rights?
Cherry with a slice of old cheddar melty on top or Key Lime for me; or maybe my personal creation, mudbottom pecan pie wherein you layer the bottom of the pie shell with melted dark chocolate with a pinch of chili powder and then pour the ooey gooey goodness of the pecan filling.