She’s probably in a trunk in his basement.
I like how God help him cheat on a chemistry test.
Even funnier if God gave him the wrong answers.
Oh wait, he did.
That’s not even all of them – God gave him bus fare twice. According to his book, the fake test where he got ten bucks from the prof (for being the most honest student) also occurred right after he prayed to God for bus fare.
And the arrogance displayed is incredible. For the safari, he says he reminded God that they only had one day to see the animals.
But I guess it does explain why God doesn’t help 98% of the people with terminal cancer who pray for a remission. He’s too busy making sure that his favorites have nice vacations.
10 bucks for bus fare? Hope he put the change in the collection plate!
Did he pray for all of his patients, and all of them survived, or did he only pray for a few and they all survived, or did he pray for some of his patients and some of them died anyway?
Ah, but Ben has faith that God spared the “good” ones. All he prayed for was god to keep his hand steady, which can be difficult if you’re sedated as heavily as he appears to be.
I was also caught by the part where he “reminded God” that he only had a day to see the wildlife. Does God need a lot of reminders? Maybe so. He is getting up there in years. And, to be fair, He was starting to slip a little 6000 years ago, to the point that He needed to set up rainbows to remind Himself not to destroy the earth again. So, I can see a detail like Carson’s vacation agenda getting lost in the shuffle.
What really happened:
Dr. Carson’s secretary offered to make him a cocktail during the hospital Christmas party. Only alcoholics know how to make cocktails. Strike one.
The following Tuesday, the secretary organizes Dr. Carson’s paper clips by color in alphabetical order, rather than the reverse alphabetical order that Dr. Carson prefers. Strike two.
Dr. Carson retreats to his office and asks God for advice on how to fire her without his office’s insurance being on the hook for her inevitable stint in rehab. God advises him to wait for strike three.
Meanwhile, the secretary has found another job at the patent office. She submits her two-week notice to HR and starts the search for a replacement. Dr. Carson, still upset over the paperclip fiasco, does not check his email.
Two weeks later, the new secretary begins her job. Dr. Carson notices the change when the new secretary introduces herself and mentions to him that she had called the old secretary’s home that day to ask where the printer ink was kept, but had received no reply. The next day, Dr. Carson has lunch with several doctors from different hospitals. He off-handedly mentions his former secretary and warns them to not hire her because she’s an alcoholic. They hadn’t heard of her.
On Wednesday, Dr. Carson comes to work and sees that his paperclips are arranged correctly. Praising God, he calls off the search.
The secretary’s name? Albert Einstein.
And he must be spinning in his grave, now that the Tonight Show has gone back to NYC.
Spoilered because…
In 2008, Ben Carson’s friend and business partner Al Costa was convicted of medical billing fraud. Costa was a dentist in Pittsburgh. At Costa’s sentencing hearing, Carson testified on Costa’s behalf, requesting leniency. Fair enough.
In his 2013 political paper “America the Beautiful”, Carson addressed the problem of medical billing fraud. He argued that medical billing fraud was no big deal and people convicted of it should be let off with light penalties.
Ha! Just kidding. He really wrote:
Even putting aside the hypocrisy for a moment, I’m kind of struck that he’s advocating for forfeiture of all personal possessions for medical billing fraud. That seems a bit harsh. I mean, I’m against medical billing fraud as much as the next guy, but 10 years in jail and reduction to penury seems a bit excessive.
That’s a little different. If a friend of mine got his penis caught in a ceiling fan, I’m likely to bend my principles to help. Principles are important, but you can’t get drunk and tell crude jokes with your principles. Of course, neither of them would do anything like that…
Ben thinks there are Chinese in Syria. Not sure which side they’re on. But it’s funny that nobody else seems to know that this is a thing. I do wonder who is briefing Ben and his spokesman about these things.
Do they have UN helmets and black helicopters, too?
The funny thing is that the hypocritical claims aren’t even accurate. Saudi crime rates are “low” because very few crimes are reported to secular authorities, and many crimes that are reported are deemed the fault of the victim.
Top. Men.
I couldn’t find the robbery rate in Elizabethan England, but I suspect it was higher than today. They did not have a three strikes law - they executed you after two. But the homicide rate was five times that of today.
Cite
One interesting snipped from that source
It’s bad enough he spouts crap like that, but it’s even worse that there were a dozen guys running for President standing up there with him, all of whom were desperately hoping they could manage to say something that would help their chances and hurt his, and none of them were confident enough of their Cliff’s Notes knowledge of Syria to call him on it.
So now, to the Republican faithful, the dumbest guy on the stage looks like the smartest guy on the stage. How did we get this fucked up?
And I’m sure that within a few days, Carson’s campaign will produce a grainy photo of a Japanese tourist in Jordan, and say he’s vindicated.
Hmm. I like to think that I have a fairly comprehensive set of principles, but that situation isn’t covered.
Ooops! I think Ben Carson may have made a serious misstep here when asked about the Terri Schiavo case.
and then,
Not only will this play poorly with the evangelical folks who have been flocking to him, I can’t imagine Bush, Rubio or one of the other GOPers won’t pounce on these remarks.
Bush will steer clear. Regardless of his personal feelings, he remembers the political stick he took over that.