My left eye had been bothering me the past few months… Things in the distance seemed slightly blurry. Finally, I decided to go to an opthamologist (sp?) and get it checked as I haven’t had my eyes checked for about 8 years.
I go to my appointment at 3PM yesterday. First, the front desk lady gets me to stick my head in some computerized contraption. It scans each eye and it can somehow (magic I think) tell how the eyes are by itself. First, my right eye. I look into the “eyepiece” and I see a highway with a ballon in the distance. (whiiiir-whiiir-click). Repeats 3 times for my right eye, and the image gets sharper each time. She goes, “OK. Looks good. Lets do the left one.” Same thing…whiiiir,whiiiiirX3. At the end of that she goes, “Oooh. Hmmm. I see…”
“What?” I say.
“Ohhhh…, nothing. You can go sit in the waiting room for the Dr now.”
Oh, great… “Which waiting area should I sit in?” As they had a couple.
“This one here - (points)… Maybe look at some frames while you’re waiting.” :eek:
Oh, double great… Look at frames. This is not a good sign. So, I slinker off and start looking at frames. I have absolutely know clue which ones are for women and men 
… they all look the same, and there is a picture of Celine Dion above each section so I can’t go by that either.
So, I decide to sit down in the waiting area. I sit next to an elderly couple. I overhear their conversation. They are talking about bi-focals and tri-focals. Something that seemed foreign to me just while ago, but now I wonder if that’ll be me in 30-40 years… Oh well.
As I am sitting there, I have to fart. In a bad way. I can’t hold it. I try to make it silent, but can’t. It is audible, but not massively so. The elderly lady gives her husband a stiff nudge and said, “Phil!” or Floyd! or something like that… Needless to say, he took the heat. I was going to step up and say I did the deed, but their conversation lasted about 3 seconds and then dropped so I didn’t bother. Thanks old guy!
ANYHOW - the Dr comes to get me. He looks at the computer read-out and then sits me in a chair infront of the stereotypical eye-checker thingamahjobbie. I read a chart, he shines lights in my eyes, I read charts again… with only my left eye, my right. Starts changing lenses… better? Worse? Which is better? etc.
Finishes up. He repeats earlier questions, “Getting headaches? Problems driving?”
No to all.
“Well, I could prescribe you glasses but I think it would be a waste of $300-400. But, your “bad” left eye is better than what most people have their “good” eyes.” He points at the chart and says the top line (has a 20 next to it) is readable with my left and thats the important part. My right eye can read the third line (had a 10 next to it??). He said that made my right eye in the top 2 (I think) percentile for eyesight.
“Sooooo…”(he continues) “You don’t really have a “bad” left eye… You have an extremely good right eye. Since your left eye has degraded a little bit, you notice it. But, since it is so minor and not effecting your actvities don’t worry about it. Come back in 2 years and get them re-checked or earlier if it starts to give you headaches or driving problems.”
Sigh of relief. He tells the lady behind the counter that sighed at my left eye that I was fine and that I don’t need glasses. “Oooh!” she says. Dumb bitch, I think to myself. “Have a nice day!” Is what I cheerfully say outloud to her, though.
Heh. I was a happy camper yesterday afternoon after that.
