BAD Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb (Edd Byrnes and Connie Stevens), I Love (Tom T. Hall), Transfusion (Nervous Norvus a.k.a. Jimmy Drake)
GOOD Please, Mr. Custer (Larry Verne), Monster Mash (Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers)
I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.
[ul]First and foremost would have to be Alice’s Restaraunt
[li]Dakota the Dancing Bear-A David Alan Coe song about a bear on lsd and his career moves[/li][li]Werewolves of London[/li][]sitting patiently on the Group W bench[/ul]
I cant believe nobody mentioned it yet!!!
Monty Python’s “Philosophers Drinking Song”,
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Froederich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel
There’s nothing Nieizsche couldn’t teach ya
'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will
on half a pint of shanty was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
'alf a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
“I drink, therefore I am.”
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed
great song.
the worst was that Chicken song… see Labradorians post.
J
“We should have as high a regard for the church so as to keep it out of as many things as possible”
Fluther Good -the Shadow of a Gunman.
Sean O’Casey
Bonus round:
There’s a connection between my handle and a novelty song that was a hit in the 1950s. Anyone care to take a stab at it?
My favorite novelty song of all time is “Comin’ After Jinny” by Tex Ritter, written by none other than Shel Silverstein.
Don’t forget their version of “Anarchy in the UK” done as a (I guess) Doo Wop waltz. One of my fondest memories is the time 10 years ago when I got it played at a dance, and I had a lot of 40-50 year olds complementing me on bringing such a nice tune. You could tell that they were only listening to the groove and not the words.
The worst novelty song “Barbie World” by
Aqua.
Keith
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!
Aha, the reason “Hello Muddah” is so catchy is that the tune is from Ponchielli’s Dance of the Hours, also immortalized in Fantasia (dancing hippos).
Wow thanks Myron I didn’t know that!
“I think it speaks to the duality of man sir.”
(private Joker in Full Metal Jacket)
My favorite Allan Sherman song is the one about Louis XVI:
“You came the wrong way old King Louie
You disappointed all of France.
But then what else could we expect
From a king in silk stockings
And pink satin pants.”
Elmer J. Fudd,
Millionaire.
I own a mansion and a yacht.
Cute Li’l Goodies:
• Ray Stevens’ “Gitarzan!”
• Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show: “Cover of the Rolling Stone”
• Meat Loaf: “On a Hot Summer’s Night” dialog (“I bet you say that to all the boys”)
• “Suicide is Painful” (MAS*H movie theme)
• “The Rabbit of Seville” (Looney Tunes – “What would you want with a waa-bit?”)
• Guttermouth, “Asshole”
A Handful of Evil Novelty Tunes:
• “Disco Duck”
• Bo Donaldson, “Billy Don’t be a Hero”
• “Basketball Jones”
• Ringo Starr, “No No Song”
• The Knack, “My Sharona”
Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post
uh, that shoulda been “Suicide is Painless”, not “Suicide is Painful”.
:o
Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post
Don’t tell me that none of you have heard Cows with Guns!!! Funniest song I have ever heard; it is about a bovine revolt involving weaponry and chickens in helicopters. . .
I laugh just thinking about it. It is by D. Lyons, I suggest finding it on scour.net or lycos in mp3 format. You will love it.
“a revolutionary veal. . .Cow tse dung”
“I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume, for every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” --Whitman
AHunter2 mentioned:
“Meat Loaf: “On a Hot Summer’s Night” dialog”
In which case, I have to say that Meat Loaf’s intro to “Wasted Youth” was even better.
I remember everything!
I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday.
I was just sixteen and I had once killed a boy with a Fender guitar.
I don’t remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster
But I do remember that it had a heart of chrome and a voice like a horny angel.
I don’t remember if it was a Telecaster or a Stratocaster
But I do remember that it wasn’t at all easy
It required the perfect combination of the correct power chords
And the precise angle from which to strike
The guitar bled for a week afterward and the blood
Was dark and rich like wild berries
The blood of the guitar was Chuck Berry red
The guitar bled for about a week afterward but it rung out beautifully
And I was able to play notes that I had never even heard before
So, I took my guitar and I smashed it against the wall
I smashed it against the floor
I smashed it against the body of a varsity cheerleader
I smashed it against the hood of a car
I smashed it against a 1981 Harley Davidson
The Harley howled in pain, the guitar howled in heat
And I ran up the stairs to my parents’ bedroom
Mommy and Daddy were sleeping in the moonlight
Slowly I opened the door, creeping in the shadows
Right up to the foot of their bed
I raised the guitar high above my head
And just as I was about to bring the guitar crashing down upon the centre of the bed
My father woke up screaming
“Stop! Wait a minute! Stop it boy! What do you think you’re doing?
That’s no way to treat an expensive musical instrument!”
And I said “God dammit Daddy!
You know I love you
but you’ve got a hell of a lot to learn about rock and roll!”
JMCJ
This is not a sig.
sticking to pure novelty songs . . .
Best : “Green Haze” (think Hendrix singing the theme to “Green Acres” over the music of “Purple Haze” . . . it fits perfectly and its damned funny)
Worst : “SuperBowl Shuffle” done by the 1985 Chicago Bears (Will “the Fridge” Perry trying to sing ? Oh the horror, the horror)
“A single lifetime, even though entirely devoted to the sky, would not be enough for the investigation of so vast a subject.” - Seneca
The SaturdayNIghtLive spoof of this was hilarious…burly dolts stumbling around drunkenly (as opposed to dancing) with lyrics such as: “We are players, we play ball. We throw the ball we kick the ball.” LOL
I second the worsts of “My Ding-a-ling” and “Monster Mash.”
Bests? To many to remember, most of whatever everyone said already, plus a couple from Dr. D I haven’t heard in ages: “Making Love in a Subaru” by a band I think was called Damascus? And a song called “Leprosy” to the tune of the Beatles “Yesterday.” So grossly hilarious! “There are pieces falling off of me, I’m not half the man I used to be…”
And does anyone remember “Spliceway to Heaven?” It was LZ’s “Stairway to Heaven” but made up of spliced together words from other songs. It was such a hoot trying to identify all the songs used.
One week only! Special Valentine’s Candy Heart Sig Line!
"OU KID"
Coldfire
"You know how complex women are"
I’m surprised no one’s mentioned They Might be Giants (Particle Man; Istanbul) and DaVinci’s Notebook (Secret Asian Man).
“Age is mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” -Leroy “Satchel” Paige
Actually, a lot of what we’re mentioning doesn’t fall under the category of “novelty” songs, that’s why we aren’t bringing up that sort of thing. When I hear “novelty song” I think of a single put out by a one-hit wonder or big star using a fake name, or something holiday themed. I mean, that hilarious piano bit tucked at the end of “The Eagles Greatest Hits” is a knee-slapper, but I wouldn’t call it a novelty song.
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This is truly hilarious. My dad has it on tape somewhere, but he seems to have lost it and blames it on me. (Of course.)
I second The Hanukkah Song, btw. (“OJ Simpson - not a Jew.”)
~Harborina
“This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.”
Does Filk count? If so, then there are a number of songs that I’d nominate.
Tom Smith:
307 Ale What do you get when you use a cyclotron as a still?
A Boy and his Frog A tribute to Jim Henson, extremly poignant.
When I grow up I want to be Peter Lorre What can I say, Peter Lorre is one of the great unsung masters. 
Moonwolf:
No you can’t swing a broadsword in a forest A little tale about a SCA battle in the woods…title says it all, really.
And I also agree Tom Lehrer is one of the greats.
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
—The dragon observes