So yesterday i went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers live in concert at Hyde Park and as i was fairly close to the gold ring barrier there were quite a few people pushing through most using their usual “My friends are over there” excuses (or possibly truthful comments shrugs). The best i heard was “My girlfriend’s over there, she’s insane, she boiled my rabbit”.
So dopers what are the best or most random non-sensical or similar excuses you have heard also any other dopers at the Chilis?
Well not an excuse to get closer to the band, it is an excuse to get out of any responsibility,
“I was on fire at the time.”
God bless british humor.
And another awesome excuse, or rather line, used to get by Bouncers at a club was that the guy went up to the bouncer and went, “Yeah, so do I like, know you or sumfin’?” And the dude went, “Yeah man, we’re best friends!” And the bouncer said something along the lines of, “Oh? Best friends eh? So what are my hobbies?”
…
And the guy goes, “Kicking my ass out of that club!” At this point we could have stormed the entrance because all three doormen were laughing too damn hard to stop anyone. But no one dared move, expecting him to get a sound whoopin after they stopped laughing. So we waited.
Back in about sixth grade, which would have made me around 10, my best friend R and I went to her house after school. We removed our shoes on the porch as was their custom, and went inside. No one else was home yet, and as R walked into the kitchen she did a sudden jerking pirouette and let out a horrified screech. One of her mother’s half-dozen cats had depositied a long snake-like column of vomit on the kitchen floor, and R had just stepped in it.
Much shrieking ensued, and after prying off the vomit-encrusted sock with a wooden spoon-- and pausing to snag frosty juice-boxes out of the fridge–we hurried upstairs to her room.
About ten minutes later her older sister comes home. After a moment, we hear her mutter disgustedly. She comes upstairs shortly and walks into R’s room where she and I were finishing our juice.
R’s Sister: Why didn’t you clean up that mess downstairs?
R: You mean that cat puke in the kitchen?
R’s Sister: Yes.
R: Uh, I didn’t see it.
::cue hysterical laughter from all three players::