What funny exclamations have you heard someone say either in response to something or as a prelude to a comment? For instance, one of the most humorous ones I’ve heard was “Jesus tap-dancing Christ, are you insane”.
Sweet Zombie Jesus! (from Futurama)
Great googly moogly (from Snickers, I think)
“Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogostick!”
During a stand-up routine, Bobcat Goldthwait approached some hecklers in the front row. He overshot the end of the stage. Between the edge of the stage and the first row, there’s a decorative curtain hung from a lip. Between the lip and the stage is a gap about large enough to fit a human leg.
Goldthwait’s leg fell through that gap, and he cut it pretty greusomely. There was a decent amount of blood.
When this happened, he just shouted, “Dogcock!”
This took even him by surprise, and before he even mentioned anything about his fall, he just went on for a few minutes about where the hell he came up with “Dogcock”
To his credit, he didn’t let it slow him down. Every now and then, he’d roll up his pant leg to check on the wound (which was bleeding for quite some time), and he worked it into his act pretty smoothly, but he never once let it slow him down. Only at the end, when people were shouting for an encore, did he finally admit, “you know, I’d love to stay out here a bit longer, but this is really starting to sting.”
This was at Binghamton University, two Octobers ago. I doubt it’s on tape, but everyone at that show will remember the word “Dogcock”
When Harry Truman learned that President Roosevelt had died, he said “Jesus Christ and General Jackson!”
“Sweet merciful crap!” - Homer Simpson, upon seeing his car covered in seashells
From one of my favorite books: “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!”
From my daughter, mixing expressions unwittingly: “For crying out Pete!”
<slight hijack>I saw Bobcat several years ago on Comic Relief - he did a whole routine about a juicer, then threw a squid in the mix. He drank it, went on for about a minute, then ran off the stage gagging. he came back later and said, “Man, I thought that would be funny but it just tasted like SHIT!” I can’t stand that weird voice he does, but he is AWFULLY funny sometimes.</hijack>
“Sweet Sassy Molassy”
- Ray Romano
I’ve been trying to cuss less, and use exclamations like “Nerts!” and “Jiminey Crickets!”
I’ve been having only moderate success.
That line was used on a Frank Zappa album, “Apostrophe.”
I personally like some of the exclamations used by a Mormon friend. My favorite is:
“Oh my Heck!”
One of my favorites is, “Holy Batshit, Robin”
“Zark off!” in THHGTTG, Zaphod fires this one off quite a few times.
One that’s not really all that funny, but something about the delivery made it: In Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Depp shouts “Jesus God!” and throws a handfull of change at a valet (I think, it may have been a rental agency employee) as he speeds off.
These may have older sources, but I heard “Mamma pajama” from Mystery Men and “Holy guacamole” from a Mario comic. You have to say them so that they rhyme.
My sainted father is a world-class cusser. He says stuff like “Jesus H. God on a Bloody Crutch” and “Blast-E-Damn !!”. He squeezes each syllable through his teeth, whilst looking like he could explode.
He’d come thru the house in the middle of the night and trip over something: "Ja - HEEE - zus … JOE - seff … and MARY ".
He & mom sang in the church choir; the loft was raised and choir members very visible. One day lightning hit the church steeple * C R A K K KK K A A A W *
In the split second of silence my Dad’s huge basso profundo rang out over the cowering congregations’ heads : “MUTHA … uv … GAWD”
“Criminalities!”
My mother’s pretty tame. That is her only swear word.
One time when my friend and his little brother were walking past a kettle corn cart, he exclaimed: “Hot Boy!”
A mix between Hot Damn and Oh Boy, it was quite funny.
One of my favorites (and I’ll be damned if I can remember where I heard it) is, “Well, lick my leg!”
Marge Simpson: “Doodlebugs!”
One I picked up somewhere: “Christ on a cracker!”
Whilst engaged in a debate with a Jewish friend of mine, he ended a particularly strong sentence with the exclamation “Shalom, b*tch!” I laughed for half an hour. (This is the same guy who refers to himself as a “Hebro.”)
Every Christmas, my darling mother cuts loose with a string of invective brought on the stress of so much cookie baking.
Usually there is a tremendous bang, or the smell of smoke, followed by a terror-inducing “Jesus H Christ god damn sonuvabitch.” It’s all very long, loud, and drawn out until she hits the “sonuvabitch,” which is said as one word while exhaling.
At that point, my dad and I make ourselves scarce.