One of the funniest exclamations comes from Dumb & Dumber: when Jim Carrey explaims “Suck me sideways” after seeing Lauren Holly’s house.
When I was 14, a booking error during the annual family vacation in Florida resulted in my getting my own hotel room, where I discovered the wonders of HBO. For a Canadian teen-aged boy used to the CBC and all 4 other channels, this was quite an education…
The one show I remember to this day was a segment on a comedy rant on 100 uses of the F-word. For some reason, the particular expression
“Holy Mongolian clusterfuck!”
reduced this teenager to helpess laughter for 10 minutes, and it stuck with me to this day.
Steve Purcell’s comic book series, Sam and Max: Freelance Police, has a lot of these.
“Holy jumping mother o’God in a side-car with chocolate jimmies and a lobster bib!”
“Holy cripes on toast!”
“Holy jumping weasel critters on a hot cross bun!”
Jesus takes a shit!
“Mother Marion Barry!”
–Thurgood Stubbs, voiced by Eddie Murphy in the classic TV series “The PJs”
When I was a young’ un, my brother Aaron, older than me by 8 years was doing something to help me out, tying my shoes or something, and I was getting fidgety so he finally yelled out “HOLD YOUR LEFT… TOE!!!”. He would normally have ended that expression with “NUT”, I’m sure, but being that I was young and innocent he thought of the next body part he could come up with, the toe. There was dead silence when he said it, then we both laughed our asses off. I may have been 6 years old or something, but I surely knew where he was going with that! I still remember it, 30 years later.
well I’ll be picked off a vine and eaten grape-by-grape by a girl in her teens . . .
That’s mine too. Probably from the same book, I suspect (Outlander).
A guy I worked with in the 70’s building power plants said “f***” for every other word. But my favorite he only used when surprised: “Well F*** me naked” My husband and I still say that on occasion and I have never heard it from anyone else.
In “Johnny Dangerously,” a film a lot of people hated, but which I thought was pretty funny, the bad guy Roman Moroni had several great ones: “You fargin’ bastidges,” “fargin’ iceholes,” “you lousy corksuckers,” delivered (by actor Richard Dimitri) in an indeterminate European accent.
“Fuck me sideways!”
“Fuck me runnin’!”
“Jesus Haploid Christ!”
“Laird Thunderin’ Jaysus!”
“Well, tie me down and spank my bottom with a wet fish!”
Jesus H Christ on a shocking pink Harley Davidson, why is this in Cafe Society? 
Oh, and the Beavis and Butthead movie classic delivered by Robert Stack, “Well I’ll be a monkey’s bare-assed uncle!”
Hot Diggety, dagnabbit!
____ My Arse!
(In response to just about everything)
Hmm, good question.
Well, the blurb described this board as “Our salon for art, drama, literature, movies, music – all the artistic disciplines – if it’s about art or entertainment, it goes here”. Now one could say that all of the replies prior to this one are dealing with humorous twists on literature (some of the aforementioned statements are derived from famous works). Plus it’s entertaining 
Or My arse in parsley - expression of deep incredulity.
In a similar vein, we morphed “Holy shit, Batman!” into “Holy bat Shitman!”
“Jumpin’ Catfish!”
“Well, fuck me running!”
I always liked The Onion’s list of catchphrases that never caught on. Top on the list were:
-Fill it will krill, Gill!
-Well, I’ll be a greased Jesus!
-Upholster that!
-Just call me Eight-Way Wesley
Sorry to bump a really old thread, but I was searching on Bobcat Goldthwait, and this thread came up.